Forbidden Journey
by tivaforever13
Summary: This is a spin-off story of "Forbidden" another of my stories. It is the same story with far more details of the journey that Tony and Ziva take together from just before Paris onward. We'll see the journey that Tony and Ziva take together to falling in love and seeing their relationship go from strained to open and honest.
1. Gibbs and Vance

Gibbs and Vance

Gibbs waited outside of Vance's office. He was waiting to talk to him. For some strange reason Vance wanted to talk to him urgently just as their case was ending. He did honestly feel bad for leaving his entire team with the paperwork, but he needed to do what Vance told him to do.

Gibbs was standing on the catwalk above the squad room and looking down at his three agents. Everything had changed about the team since they had gone to Somalia and brought Ziva back home. Ziva was a little distant and very internalized since her return. She was internal about her private thoughts and emotions before, but this was moreso. This concerned everyone of them, a lot. Gibbs almost as much as Tony. That relationship was very strained.

He had watched them over the last several months. He watched how carefully Tony worded everything around her and how she avoided his looks and any physical contact or closeness with him. Tony was reading into it as she had gone through something terrible, which she had and Gibbs knew what it was, because he had read her medical file before putting it away safely again, where no one else could read it.

He knew what she had gone through and didn't really blame her for internalizing whatever she must be feeling. But, Tony was concerned as always. He was perceptive and could see that Ziva was not fine, when she bothered to look him in the eyes. Gibbs sighed as he heard the office door open that led into Vance's office.

"Gibbs, come on in," Vance said.

Gibbs turned away from his team and walked into the Director's office and sat down at the small conference table that was at this end of the room. He looked at Vance as Vance joined him.

"What's this about, Leon?" Gibbs asked.

"Well, it's about me having something that I need done," he said honestly. "I'm struggling with who to send on this mission. There is a witness in Paris, France, that I'm sure is in trouble. We think that someone is after her life and I need to send two good agents. Normally, I would pick DiNozzo and David for something like this, because usually they work wonderfully together. But, when they're here I can see that something's off about them."

"Something's definitely off," Gibbs said. "It has to do with David thinking she's okay and DiNozzo worrying about her. But, that's beside the point. They are both still very good partners, some of the best. They are just not at their personal best at the moment."

"What would you do in my position, Gibbs?" Vance asked.

"I would send them to Paris," Gibbs said. "For better or worse, right?"

"You make it sound like I'm forcing them to get married," Vance said with a slight chuckle.

"Here's my thoughts, Leon," Gibbs said slowly, making it obvious that he was thinking out loud. "There's something off with them. They are not communicating as well as they used to, not that their verbal communication skills have ever been very good. But, they are not communicating through body language and eye-contact as well as they used to. Something's got to give, sooner or later. This will either make them or break them, the way I see it. They will come back changed. I will then need to know if I need to switch partners and find Ziva some help, or I will see something entirely different. But, Leon. They will never go back to the way they were, I think we both know that…."

"Yes, I certainly know that," Vance said quietly. "I know what could happen. They will be in Paris alone for two days. That's far away and it's the city of love. I know what can happen. I'm fully aware of it. But, like you said, something's got to give sooner or later. I need those two at the top of their game and if that means that something has to change between them forever, then so be it. It will give them a chance to talk it out away from everyone, or to stop being afraid to communicate so effectively like they used to. Something's got to change, though."

"I whole-heartedly agree," Gibbs said. "Send them. But, don't tell them today. We've had a rough case and I want them both rested and able to think clearly when you are telling them where they are going. I also would like to be here, to see their reactions. Book one room for the two of them. One bed. I don't know what will happen, but perhaps it will be good for us. Anything will be better than those two dancing around these negative things of her past."

"Thank you, Jethro," Vance said quietly. "I will talk to the three of you on Monday when you're all back for work. Have a good weekend, Jethro."

"You too, Leon," Gibbs said as he got up and left the Director's office.

He walked back down the stairs and into the squad room, looking at the two agents that he was so concerned with. They would glance in the direction of the other but never allow their eyes to meet. It wasn't just Ziva that was hiding her feelings and thoughts from the other. Tony was doing it too, he noticed.

"Alright everyone. Go home. None of you are on-call this weekend. So, enjoy the time off," Gibbs said quietly as he sat down at his desk to do his share of the paperwork. "If your papers are done then give them here. If not, I will finish them for you. Have a good weekend."

* * *

A/N – Here is the first chapter of the full story of "Forbidden" (another story of mine). "Forbidden" is somewhat of a string of one-shots that all tie together to make a whole story. However, this story is going to dig into the details that the other misses. I am going to try to update this everyday, but no promises on it. I decided to begin this story before the other one starts with Vance and Gibbs' conversation on sending Tony and Ziva to Paris together, since it was important in my mind while writing the other story. This story will also include what you saw in the other story, we will just get to see the full journey here. I hope you like it. Please review and let me know what you think as we go.


	2. Vance Sends Tony and Ziva to Paris

Vance Sends Tony and Ziva to Paris

Vance walked out onto the catwalk from his office. He looked down at his best team as they worked silently on their computers, finishing up some paperwork that they had left over the weekend. He glanced at Gibbs, who kept steeling glances toward Tony and Ziva. Vance then glanced at Tony and Ziva who were avoiding each other like crazy. He knew it, because he had seen it.

As he watched Ziva glanced up, but quickly back down again, seeing that Tony was looking her way. She was avoiding his eyes. That was usually the way they communicated best, was through these small looks, since they were both terrible with words toward each other. He shook his head and decided that his decision he made with Gibbs on Friday was definitely the right one; though he was terrified of how it might change these two. But, something needed to change.

"Special Agent DiNozzo and David, my office please. Gibbs, you too," Vance called down from the catwalk as the sun was setting outside of the NCIS building.

Tony looked at Ziva as she looked up. They only stared for a brief moment before her eyes darted elsewhere.

Ziva stood up after the glance with Tony. They had hardly made eye contact since their talk in the bathroom several weeks ago. They were on shaky ground and she knew it. It was like they were avoiding each other, but not really. They were only avoiding each other's eyes.

Ziva knew why they were avoiding eye contact. Ziva didn't want Tony to read what was in her expression, because she knew that she was only pretending she was fine and she knew Tony was the only person in the world who could read that upon looking in her eyes.

Ziva reached for the necklace that she used to wear almost everyday of her life, but remembered it wasn't there. She frowned and remembered what she had said to the marine on that ship before she arrived in Somalia.

**_"I would sooner die than take it off," she told him. "You should understand." She had pulled out his dog tags with a glance of significance at him._**

She hadn't worn the necklace since Saleem had taken it off her neck and she fully intended on dying over there. But, she no longer blamed Tony for rescuing her. Now, she was quite thankful for it. But, she did miss her necklace and hadn't had the heart to replace it with a new one, since she wasn't so sure how she felt about Israel at the moment; or her father for that matter.

Tony glanced at Ziva again now that she was standing and thinking. She was frowning and her eyes said that she was far from fine. They had hardly made eye contact since that day in the bathroom where she apologized to Tony. It broke his heart that she was still hurting from the mess and he wished he could make it all go away for her, but he didn't know what to do to even help her cope, because she wouldn't let him in. he knew why they were avoiding each other, though. Ziva didn't want Tony to know what she had been through in Somalia and she obviously realized he wanted her to talk about it. What she didn't know was that he was willing to wait to hear it.

Gibbs glanced around at his two agents. He already knew what Vance was doing from their conversation on Friday. He had recommended sending these two that far. Something was definitely off and this was only more evidence of that. He knew that by sending them to Paris they would never be the same, but it broke his heart to see his two agents, his two kids, having the problems they were having. They wouldn't even look at each other and they had to depend on each other in this job. This wasn't healthy for them. They had to work through this somehow and this was his only chance to help.

They made their silent way up the stairs and walked into Vance's office. They sat down one by one and looked up at Vance, but not toward each other. Vance was seeing full-force what Gibbs meant about whatever was going on between Tony and Ziva being strained and forced. They were sitting next to each other, but leaning ever-so-slightly away. He could see they were strongly resisting whatever it was they felt for each other because of Ziva's time in Somalia.

"Okay, so I have an assignment and I've finally decided who's going to do it," Vance said, presenting this as wholly his decision, even though it wasn't. "The assignment is going to Paris and picking up a witness for a trial here. She's not wholly safe. We have reason to believe that her life is being threatened. So, David, DiNozzo, you're going to Paris. Go home, pack your bags. Your plane leaves in two hours. You'll get there, have a night, pick up the witness and come home. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Ziva said reluctantly.

"Yes, Director," Tony said, sounding just as reluctant.

"Good. Gibbs, no problems with me stealing two of your best agents, I trust?" Vance asked as a formality, since they had already discussed this.

"No problems, Director," Gibbs said with a slight nod of his head, indicating that he understood why he was asking again.

"Good, you two, get moving," Vance said as he dismissed the three of them from his office now that they had an assignment.

* * *

A/N – So, here we are, in Vance's office. Tony and Ziva got their assignment to go to Paris. I wonder what they're thinking about this since they're both apparently reluctant to go. Please review!


	3. Awkwardly Silent Flight

Awkwardly Silent Flight

Tony and Ziva left Vance's office with Gibbs one step behind. They grabbed their bags from their desks and walked to the elevator, their eyes meeting once the doors were closed. Tony could see confusion and hurt on her face. She could see curiosity and care on his. She blinked, but didn't remove her eyes from him, something she hadn't done in a while.

"So, Paris?" she said, hoping that some conversation was better than silence.

"Yup," Tony replied.

Paris. It was on both of their minds. Paris was the city of love. Paris was a place of romance. Paris was a city that changed people. Paris would surely change them too, but to what degree and in which direction? That was what they both wondered.

Ziva hadn't been entirely reluctant to go. She was concerned about spending quality alone time with Tony, since she was keeping so much inside her right now. She was concerned that he would ask her to talk about things she wasn't ready to talk about. She was also concerned for the deep want she felt for him. She had forgotten about it for a while, but as she stood there, lost in Tony's eyes, she remembered it. She blinked again.

Tony was not at all reluctant to go. He was a little concerned though. He was concerned about spending that much time alone with Ziva. Would she want to talk about what had happened to her? A part of him hoped so, but the other part of him hoped not. He wasn't going to push. It wasn't his place. She would open up when she was ready to and not before then. He was concerned about how he felt about her and about how that affected her, since she had to know. He was worried about her and hoped that he could find some comfort for her there as she stood there, lost in her chocolate eyes. He blinked.

"I want to see the Eiffel Tower," Tony said quietly as the elevator dinged.

"I have seen it once," Ziva said. "I did not get to stop and enjoy it."

"That's a shame. You should this time," he said quietly.

"Maybe I will," she said with a quarter of a smile appearing on her face.

Perhaps this would be alright. Although the care that Tony used with his words was a little scary to her. The care that he used with her all the time was scary. It told her too much. He cared about her, but she had known that for a very long time. He loved her, too, and that was what was so scary. She didn't know what to say or feel about it. She knew what she felt, but she didn't want to feel it right then and she denied it the power it should have over her.

"I'll pick you up in an hour so we can go to the airport?" Tony asked.

"Sure, Tony," Ziva said and turned to her car. "I will see you in an hour."

They got in their cars and went home. They packed and in exactly an hour Tony knocked on her door. He wasn't late. But, he never was when it concerned Ziva. He felt as though he had to make up for the time she had been in Somalia and he wasn't on time. He was never going to make that mistake again. She opened the door and found him standing there in more casual clothes than his work clothes. He took her bag down for him and she said nothing about this.

They arrived at the airport and checked into their flight and boarded the plane. They had an nine hour flight ahead of them and many, many miles to travel together. They were silent as they sat there on the plane.

Ziva didn't dare to sleep. She was afraid of sleeping these days. She had nightmares and she didn't want to share that with Tony and a plane full of strangers. She didn't want to sleep at all on this vacation, but she thought it would be okay once they got to the room. Sharing that with Tony was not so bad, though she knew she would see the concern in his eyes. She sighed as she glanced over at him.

He turned his gaze away quickly. Tony was concerned for Ziva; he was genuinely worried about her. She sat there, pretending she was fine, yet he could see the fear in her eyes. What was she so afraid of? Nothing was going to hurt her. How could he convince her of that? First, he had to show her that he trusted her and cared about her, but wasn't going to push her. He knew how to do that already and had already planned that far ahead and knew that Paris was the perfect place to do that. Second, he needed to earn her trust.

How the hell do you earn the trust of someone so broken and pretending like they are fine? He didn't know. He didn't know how to earn her trust. He knew how to show that he trusted her and cared about her and perhaps that would be enough to show her that she could still trust him. She said she trusted him, but did she? Did she trust him a little? He knew she wasn't lying, but there were definitely things that she didn't trust about anyone? He wanted her heart and that was going to take some time. He knew that.

The whole flight was silent and shared with avoided glances and awkward moments of silence. They didn't say a word to each other, as though they were complete strangers. They hardly looked at each other, though they did manage to catch each other staring a couple of times. They didn't do anything. They sat stiffly for the entire nine-hour flight. When it was over they were both very relieved to be off the plane and getting into a rented car and heading off to the hotel, where they would be able to get the rest they didn't get on the plane.

* * *

A/N – Here is chapter 3. I had not included the flight to Paris in "Forbidden" and so here it is for you. An awkward flight filled with thoughts and avoidances, only proving how strained things are between Tony and Ziva at the moment.


	4. Getting a Single Room

Getting a Single Room

They exited the cab with Tony paying the driver with Euros. Tony took Ziva's bag again, something that made her blush slightly, but she was silently grateful for the action. No one had ever taken care of her the way she was being taken care of now. She was pleased and scared at the same time.

Tony led her through the double doors at the entrance of the hotel. He walked straight up toward the desk to check-in and waited for the lady to finish with the customers that had come in front of them. He waited patiently, until the lady finally turned toward Tony.

"Hello, reservations under DiNozzo," he said quietly.

She looked through her computer and smiled at each of us, causing Ziva to blush again. Ziva knew that this looked like a typical American couple stopping in Paris on a journey of love. I was not sure what kind of journey Tony and I were having, but it was more like a journey of cat and mouse. He was the cat, chasing me around and I was the mouse, skimpering away at every opportunity.

"Yes, that was a single room," the woman said, fiddling with something in the computer as she checked the reservation.

"Um… shouldn't it either be a double or two separate rooms?" Tony asked, feeling awkward about it, but knowing that Ziva would be uncomfortable in a single room with him right now.

"Not according to the people who booked the room, no," the woman said quietly, double checking with her computer.

Tony and Ziva exchanged a glance. Their eyes met and locked for the first time fully since they met in the bathroom. This was not just their eyes locking, this was them reading each other at that moment. Tony could see her fears and she could see his concerns. For that moment, Ziva admitted to Tony that she wasn't fine and Tony admitted to Ziva that he was going to make sure she was alright at the very least. Neither thought that sharing a room was a good idea right then. It was clear in both of their expressions.

"Is there another room available?" Tony asked quietly, knowing what Ziva needed.

"No. I am sorry, we are all booked for tonight," the woman said shaking her head with a look of genuine apology on her face.

"It is okay, we will take it," Ziva said, feeling resigned to the fact that they were going to have to share a room with only one bed.

The lady smiled and handed Tony the key to the room and told him where to go. Ziva was a little nervous, but she knew that it would work out, somehow. She knew that she could trust Tony. If she asked him not to push, then perhaps he wouldn't. But, perhaps she would be okay with him being there; after all, she knew that she trusted him. She knew that she could rely on him, if she would allow herself to. But, she was terrified of what she felt for Tony.

Tony grabbed their bags and slung them over his shoulder. He very gently put one hand on the small of Ziva's back to lead her in the direction of the elevator. She flinched slightly at the contact, but soon relaxed under his touch, with a soft glance down at his hand.

Tony noticed her flinch and it made his heart ache and his imagination go free and back to a place he didn't want it to go. Something terrible had happened to his ninja while she was captured and held in a terrorist training camp. He didn't want to think about it, so he pushed the thoughts away from his mind. Tonight was about not getting on each other's nerves and learning how to be themselves again. They both resolved that at the same moment, though it was very much unspoken.

Tony made it to the elevator and that was when he allowed his hand to drop from Ziva's back and push the button on the elevator. They were headed to the top floor. Ziva knew from experience that that was usually where the nicer rooms were kept anyway. They waited silently in the elevator as it went slowly upward toward their floor.

Finally, there was a soft ding and the silver doors of the French elevator slid open to reveal a very nice-looking hallway. Tony placed his hand back at the small of her back, much softer this time and was relieved to notice that she didn't flinch under his touch this time. She might trust him and she might just be used to him. He could hope for the former.

They found the door and Tony pressed the key into it, turning it a little and listening to the click of the lock as it released, allowing him to open the door. He held it open for Ziva and they walked in. They both looked around.

This was not a very large room. It had one bed and a small couch. It was small even by Ziva's comparison of sizes, since she was the smaller of the two. There was no way either of them would be sleeping on that couch. How bad could it be?

They stood there, looking around the room. It wouldn't be so bad. But, they were definitely going to fight over who got that couch. She was going to insist on taking it and he was going to insist on being a gentleman and taking it; that was the way they worked and always had and always would. They both knew that.

Ziva had a solution in her head to give to Tony. They could share the bed. But, Ziva didn't know if he would go for it or if she could handle it. The tension between them was nearly visible at this point and they could both feel it; and it had a hint of the old sexual tension that they used to have so prominently. It was scary and exciting all at the same time. They would work it out and she knew it. She knew that everything was going to be alright, with or without a fight.

* * *

A/N – They found out that they had a single room and they reacted to it. They are both scared now. But, Ziva, at least, is sure that it will turn out to be okay. Please review and let me know what you think!


	5. The Gift of Trust

The Gift of Trust

They had stepped a little ways into the room. Tony dropped the bags at the door, Ziva heard it. She was just standing there, thinking and taking everything in around her. She was staring at the bed and determining that there was plenty of room for both of them there. They needed to talk anyway and she knew it. They needed to do something with whatever was going on between them, because she couldn't take it anymore. She needed to have it somewhere close to the way it was again.

While Ziva was deep in thought about the two of them, Tony slowly moved up behind her as quietly as he could. He was not close enough to touch her with his body, but he was still very close behind her. He had to do something to get her to open up and now was his chance.

"I got you something, Ziva," he whispered, standing as close to her as he dared without scaring her. He was so afraid of scaring her after she had come back from Somalia.

Ziva jumped a little, though she tried to control it. She had not heard Tony coming so close to her. She was surprised by the sudden closeness, but she welcomed it; it made her feel safer. She had been so jumpy since her return from Somalia, so many months ago and she hated it, but she knew that it was Tony and she was going to be okay. Everything was getting slowly better with time; one day at a time.

She took a calming breath, reminding herself one more time that she was safe with Tony. She turned slowly to face him, wondering what he had gotten her. Her curiosity took over and she knew it was visible on her face. She allowed her walls to drop for him since they were completely alone now. She felt a little too comfortable around him and a little too safe and that scared her a little.

"You startled me, Tony," she said honestly, finally meeting his eyes with her own.

Her eyes told Tony that she felt safe with him and she was thankful that he was the one that was there with her; that she would rather him than anyone else. He was relieved at the messages her eyes were sending to him. He was thankful that her eyes never shut up and that she was choosing to give him the eye-contact that they thrived on desperately since they had first met.

"I thought that ninjas couldn't get surprised?" Tony asked playfully, feeling that he needed to keep the mood light, even though this was definitely a serious moment.

"When we go through as much as this ninja has gone through, then, yes, Tony, sometimes we get a little surprised. I was… I was just lost in my thoughts," she said to him, fluctuating between serious and light-hearted in the same comment, trying not to make too much of the situation; she knew it would overwhelm her if she remained serious the whole time. He knew that too, which was why he had taken to lightening the mood just a moment ago.

Tony smiled down toward her, seeing some of the light that used to exist in her eyes returning for the first time since her rescue, and held up a box in front of her. It was long and narrow, covered in black velvet. It was obviously for some type of jewelry. She narrowed her eyes at him as she saw the box, but her eyes remained fixed on Tony, as she had not allowed herself to do in a very long time. She could get totally lost in his spectacular green eyes and be perfectly happy for the rest of her life.

"You did say you got me something… um… jewelry, Tony?" she asked, unsure of how to react to this gesture.

Tony studied Ziva for a few minutes and noticed that she was glancing down at the box in his hands. She was asking him, silently, what was inside the box. He could see some excitement in her as she looked back up at him. He reached his other hand out and slowly opened the box for her. She gasped slightly in surprise at what it held.

"I noticed that you lost your Star of David when you were there," he said to her quietly.

He was ignoring the fact that they never mentioned Somalia or what happened over there. He made sure he didn't bring up the specific location, because he didn't want to hurt her anymore than she already was. He knew that something really awful had happened to her there, but he wanted to do something to help make it right again.

"I thought since it was very important to you, I would get you a new one," he added softly.

"This is really expensive, Tony," Ziva said, noticing this new Star of David pendant had tiny diamonds laced into it, where the old one had just been plain silver. "You did not have to do this for me."

"I wanted to do it, Ziva," he said softly, holding her gaze and reading the gratitude that was in her eyes. "It means a lot to you."

Ziva smiled up at him, the twinkle returning to her chocolate eyes. This was a genuine smile that Tony hadn't seen in a long time. Ziva took the box from him slowly. Before taking the necklace out of the box, she leaned up on her toes and kissed him gently on the lips.

They stood there for a moment with their lips pressed together, relishing in the feel of each other's soft lips. She was hesitant and so was he. But, they moved. His hands went gently to her back and hers wrapped slowly around his neck, locking each other in their places, with gentle care as to not alarm the other or cause any panic from memories that wanted to be lost.

Tony opened his mouth and his tongue licked at her bottom lip, asking for entrance, unsure if he would get it or not. She allowed it with her heart racing in her chest. Their tongues wrestled lightly with each other, exploring the other's mouth in the passionate kiss that they were sharing now. She was pouring her soul into him. She was trying to thank him for all he had done for her and trying to tell him what he really meant to her, because her words definitely would have failed her right now.

Tony was enjoying the taste that was so uniquely Ziva. He had only ever tasted it in a hungry and hurried kiss for show during their undercover operation so long ago. This kiss was so different from that one. He could feel all of her emotions pouring into him. She was sad, hurt, and lonely. But she loved him and wanted him to know it, but didn't know how to say it right then. She also trusted him and had some hope.

Tony poured everything he had into this kiss. He wanted her to know that he wasn't going anywhere, no matter what. He wanted her to know that he loved her and that he was always going to love her, no matter what. The kiss deepened.

Ziva could feel her body beginning to react to the contact between her and Tony, but she wasn't interested in going there right now. Tony could feel his body reacting to their closeness, but he was certainly not going to even think about taking her there now. She was still too hurt from her time in Somalia.

They pulled apart at the exact same moment and rested their foreheads together. Ziva looked down, away from him, unsure what to feel in this moment. She felt far too much. She knew that she loved him; that she was head over heels in love with him; that she, too, couldn't live without him. The emotions she was feeling scared her and made her feel safe at the same time. It was confusing her.

Tony was afraid of what he was feeling for Ziva now that he had told her without words how he felt. She returned those feelings, but he didn't know if she could handle it. He was afraid for her. She wasn't ready for that, and he knew it. Tony got the message though. She loved him and wasn't ready for more than a thank-you kiss that told him everything he ever wanted to know. She loved him. She trusted him. She couldn't live without him. He smiled slightly at what he knew.

They had finally given into those emotions and desires that had built up over the years of working together and it felt great! It felt right! They were both afraid though, because they had never given into each other or any other person quite like that. Tony knew, though, that she wasn't ready for more. He could see the fear building behind her eyes, even though she was looking away from him now.

"Thank you, Tony," she whispered, giving him a last longing look.

* * *

A/N – So, here's the kiss; the kiss that tells them everything. Please review and let me know what you think!


	6. Dinner and Talk of the Room

Dinner and Talk of the Room

"Should we eat in or go out?" Ziva asked him as they settled into their room after a long silence following their kiss.

Her cheeks were very pink and his were slightly pink as well. It was like a large elephant in the room. Neither one wanted to talk about it, but at the same time they both felt that something needed to be said.

"Let's go out," Tony said. "Either way we've got to spend company money."

Ziva nodded in agreement. She wasn't sure what to say to Tony now. Her cheeks remained pink. She grabbed a dress and put it on quickly in the bathroom, trying to reason with herself.

It was a kiss. Yes, that it was. It was definitely a kiss. She had kissed Tony. She had initiated it. What was she thinking? She knew that she trusted Tony. She knew that she loved him, even. She knew that she was head over heels in love with Tony. But, still, the thought of being with a man was difficult. She wasn't ready for anything.

She hadn't been ready to kiss Tony and open up that much to him. Yet, she had acted on impulse and perhaps that was they way she needed to do it, to know that she was ready for it. Because, if she was being completely honest with herself, she needed to kiss Tony and feel him all around her, protecting her and loving her like there was no one else in the world.

She knew that he felt the same. She had felt it through that simple kiss. Her body, though. What had her body done? Her body had reacted to his touch and closeness, though there was nothing horribly intimate about their kiss. They had not roamed or strayed from where their hands were placed and yet she still had a deep and desperate want for Tony already and that was with one kiss. What was she going to do with herself now?

She had no idea. She met him back in the main room and they walked toward where they were eating. It was a nice restaurant not too far from where they were staying. They sat down and ordered their food. While they ate, Ziva thought it was the perfect time to bring up sleeping arrangements.

"That couch is very small," Ziva commented, seemingly out of the blue.

"I noticed that. Don't worry, I'll take it," he said quietly.

"Do not be ridiculous, Tony," she said. "That couch is very small. Your back will be beyond hurting if you try to sleep on it. That bed is large enough. We are grown adults and we can share without it being awkward, right?"

He nodded in agreement, unable to argue with her. His face was confused, but he shook his head.

"Yea… yea, it's plenty big enough and we'll still have our own space on that bed," Tony agreed quietly and looked anywhere but Ziva, hoping that he could calm himself from what he was feeling.

She could see it though. She could see that he was fighting his own reaction to what had happened when they kissed. She was fighting her reaction too, just not nearly as hard. Because, every time she allowed her mind to wander toward that moment she would shudder with the memories of what was done to her in Somalia.

"Yes, we certainly will," she agreed, finally as their check came.

They were both tired. They had stayed up on the plane together and now they were feeling the whole jetlag thing and wanted to sleep more than anything. Dinner had been wonderful, although a little romantic. But, Ziva didn't comment, as she was sure Tony was holding back his own comments on it.

Tony paid and stood up. As Ziva got up he took her hand and held it in his own. She glanced down nervously at his hand and was very tense. When they were further away from the restaurant and she still hadn't relaxed, Tony gave her hand a squeeze and stopped them.

"No reason to be so tense, Ziva," he whispered to her and she looked up at him.

Sure there was a reason to be tense. She didn't know where this was going and where his head was at. She tensed a little more.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he promised her. "I won't do anything you don't want to do. I would have let go of your hand, but you have a death-grip on mine. I'm not going to push anything on you. I promise, Ziva, you're safe with me."

She nodded, but still didn't relax into him the way she wanted to. She was so nervous that he had expectations. She was so nervous that he had been treating their dinner more like a date than a dinner between coworkers who were sent to Paris on assignment.

Tony leaned in a little more and held her to his body. "Don't tense. Please. Relax. Everything is going to be okay. I promise, Zi. We're not going there tonight. We're not going there until you're ready. I don't know what happened to you there and I don't think I want to know right now, but I can see that you're not anywhere near ready for that. I get it."

She relaxed then. His words were a comfort. She knew that he was speaking the truth and only the truth to her. She sighed and squeezed his hand now. He didn't have any expectations, other than they were not sleeping together in the figurative sense; only in the literal one. She smiled as they continued their journey back toward the hotel room.

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A/N – Here is another chapter for you. Tony and Ziva are having dinner and pretending that it doesn't feel like a date. Ziva gets a little nervous when she finally allows herself to realize it felt like a date and Tony reassures her. I love it when things work out happily like that.


	7. A Nightmare in Paris

A Nightmare in Paris

Tony and Ziva fell asleep with their backs turned toward each other. There was about two feet of space separating them, with not very much room before they reached the edge of the bed on their respective sides of the bed. They were carefully not invading each other's personal space, having gained a new respect for one another through their contact earlier that day.

Both agents fell asleep easily and drifted into a dreamless sleep at first. However, neither one rested easily for long. Tony was awoken over and over by his memories of the kiss and what his body had wanted him to do. He was nearly ready to call it quits on sleeping for the night. Ziva was uncomfortable at the edge of the bed. She woke a few times from that, a few times with her memories of how she had reacted to the kiss, and then she fell into an uneasy sleep filled with bad dreams.

It was late and Tony was half-awake and ready to give up on sleeping. He needed a cold shower or something at this point. He shook his head lightly and closed his eyes, trying hard to sleep. But, sleep didn't come, because Ziva started muttering in her sleep.

Tony's eyes flew open. He was suddenly wide awake and alert, knowing what this could be. He listened hard to the muttering. He realized it was in Hebrew and she was having a nightmare. He listened as hard as he could, hoping that it would go away, so he didn't need to wake her up.

She continued muttering in Hebrew. He glanced over his shoulder and saw her peaceful face turned toward him, as she shifted onto her back. Suddenly her face contorted as though in an expression of pain and it broke his heart to see. She groaned as though something unpleasant were happening to her and she continued to mutter. Then, he caught one word that scared him. "Saleem," she hissed clearly, not yet waking up.

"Ziva," Tony whispered, turning fully over to face her. He reached out and touched her arm gently. "Ziva. It's okay. I'm here. It's Tony. I'm in Paris with you. It's okay."

She was fighting waking up, but she was semi-conscious, he could tell the difference in her expression and breathing. Her eyes shot open and looked at him. She sat bolt upright in the bed. She was nearly hyperventilating and sweating and shaking in fear. Tony sat up next to her and moved a little closer to her. He put one hand on her shoulder very gently and very slowly, knowing that one wrong move would mean he could die or scare her more than she already was.

"Ziva. It's okay. You're in Paris with me. It's Tony. We're here to pick up a witness, which we'll do tomorrow. It's just me, Tony. You're safe. Saleem is dead and gone. He can't hurt you anymore, Ziva. You're safe," he whispered gently to her, really unsure of what he could say or do to help her.

Ziva leaned into the warmth of Tony's comforting touch. She turned to see him and moved the rest of the way to meet him. She was so thankful he was there for her and she could trust him. She broke down in tears in front of Tony for the first time. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and sobbed there, allowing her tears to flow freely, since she felt so safe. He wrapped his arms around her and he could feel the wetness of her tears as he held her tight to his body while she cried it out.

"It was just a nightmare," she said to him once she had regained control of herself without forcing it. "I am okay now."

At least she didn't say she was fine, Tony thought. He knew she wasn't fine and she knew that he knew that. He laid back with her still in his arms. She snuggled into his side, allowing herself to rest her head on his chest like a pillow.

She placed one hand over his heart and snuggled a little deeper into him. His arms wrapped instinctively around her, protecting her. She didn't fail to notice that they fit perfectly in each other's arms, like they were made for each other. His arms were wrapped around her and protecting her from everything bad. She was nearly sprawled on him and he smiled. She felt safe where she was and she smiled into his chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

She shook her head for a moment and then nodded. "But not tonight," she whispered into his chest and then lifted her head to look him in his eyes. "Thank you, Tony," she whispered, staring into his deep, green eyes and leaned in to press another kiss to his lips.

He responded and they were caught in a passionate kiss together. His arms tightened around her, but he managed to control them from roaming all over her body. Her hand slid up to his shoulder, but she stopped it there, controlling it from going anywhere else.

Their tongues were caught in a gentle battle, but not for dominance. They were equals in this war. Tony clung tighter and Ziva's hand made its way to his hair and pulled his face deeper into her, deepening the kiss a little more. He clung to her sides, fighting his urge to explore her and know her body.

Suddenly, she pulled back. There was fear and love mingling on her face. She shook her head and took a breath. "I can't, Tony," she whispered quietly.

"Wasn't going to suggest it," he whispered back to her, knowing what she was referring to.

Her expression softened and she placed her head back down in the crook of his neck, where she felt so comfortable. He could feel her warm breath on his neck and it drove him a little wild. But they both knew that they weren't ready for more. He was too happy to even suggest anything or make a remark. That was the second time in twenty-four hours that she had kissed him. How lucky could he get? She was losing her self-control by the moment, though and he knew that he had to keep his.

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A/N – I like this chapter. Nothing like good comfort and some kissing and trust between the two. Let me know what you think!


	8. The Morning Light

The Morning Light

Ziva became aware of her surroundings first, before ever opening her eyes. She knew that Tony was behind her. His arms were wrapped around her waist protectively. She still didn't open her eyes, relishing in the feel of him protecting her the way he was. She knew he wasn't sleeping. She also noticed that he was hard in her back and she smiled slightly at this, realizing that she wasn't the only one affected by their contact last night.

Still, she didn't move. For the first time in a long time, she was thinking about something more than a simple hug and not flinching away from the thoughts. She allowed her mind to wander to Tony. He was muscular and strong; tall and handsome; he was everything that she wanted. She smiled to herself again and squeezed her eyes shut tightly, knowing that if she opened them she would have to get up and end this perfect moment.

Ziva hadn't had a decent night of sleep since long before she returned to Israel and then to Somalia. She didn't care right then that her body was aching for Tony and her mind was wandering toward a place she never considered she would go again. She knew that his body was aching for her in the same way, and yet she still didn't move.

Ziva was enjoying the fact that her mind was wandering without her flinching or panicking. She was relishing the feel of Tony around her. Right now, she had him and he was keeping her safe. She placed her hand on top of his and snuggled back into him a little more, letting him know that she was awake now.

Tony was the only person in the world that she would trust to lie with in this position. He couldn't know how happy she was to be here with him right then. She smiled to herself again as his arms pulled her closer to him, holding her tighter.

Tony was smiling into the back of Ziva's neck. He had realized when her breathing changed a little and told him that she was awake. He knew that he was rock hard and his body was aching to get closer to Ziva and to have her for his own. But, he didn't make a move, because she wasn't ready. He was happy to know that she was awake and not shying away from his touch or his obvious hardness in her back.

Ziva snuggled backward into Tony a little more, making him smile a little more and want her a little more. He pulled his arms tighter around her body and inhaled her scent through his nose. He buried his face in the nape of her neck, snuggling her for all this moment was worth.

They laid there like that for a long while, just holding onto each other and relishing in the feel of each other. Ziva felt safe. She could feel him with her and snuggling her, protecting and comforting her. She was okay with this, only because it was Tony behind her. After a while, though, her body was nearly in pain from the want she felt for him. She needed to get up and go take a shower.

She began to move and Tony let her go. She sat up and smiled down at Tony. Then, their eyes met. They would not speak of this night again with anyone else, or even with each other. This night was forbidden and they both knew it, yet they both would relish the memory of it forever.

When they returned to Washington, DC they would go back to what they were and they would joke and laugh and that was the way they were going to cope with this all-too-serious adventure. She wasn't ready for anything more than what they were sharing now and he wasn't going to push her on it. She was perfectly happy with having a friend who was there for her whenever she needed one. She was also happy knowing how Tony felt and how she felt and knowing that there was a potential for them in the future.

They were lost in each other's eyes, but they needed to go pick up that witness. Ziva remembered it suddenly and she knew it was time for her to move away from the comfort that Tony so obviously offered her.

Finally, she tore her eyes away from Tony's indefinite green ones. She walked slowly toward the bathroom, feeling far better than she ever had before. She was better rested and happier than she had been in quite a long time.

Maybe, someday, she could have her happiness, with him. But, that day wasn't today. She vowed that before she died, she would talk to Tony about what happened yesterday and last night. But, that day wasn't going to be very soon. She needed to finish healing first. Perhaps she wasn't healing for just herself anymore. Perhaps she was healing for him now, too.

Ziva took an ice-cold shower and Tony then took his turn, also taking a cold shower, trying to wash away the want he was feeling, knowing that he couldn't keep acting quite like that.

When they were both showered and clothed, Ziva walked up to Tony and took his hands into her own, looking into his deep green eyes. She smiled as she looked there.

"Thank you for this, Tony," she said quietly.

"Anytime," he replied, almost as quietly. "Anytime."

She smiled again, unsure of what else to say. They stood there for a moment in silence.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, cry on, cuddle with, you know, I'm only a phone call away," Tony promised her, placing one hand on her cheek.

She leaned into his touch as he caressed her face in the palm of his hand. She smiled at him.

"I will remember that," Ziva said quietly as she allowed her eyes to slide closed and enjoy the comfort that Tony had for her. "Let's go get our witness and go home, shall we?"

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A/N – Alright, another chapter done! I love this story. Here we get to see how they're reacting to what's happened already between them and it's all pretty positive, all things considered. I think Tony has her trust but I think Ziva just needs to finish healing before she can really show him that trust more than she already has. Leave a review and let me know what you think!


	9. Back to Normal Almost

Back to "Normal" Almost

Ziva was tired. They were back at work, like nothing had happened. They had gotten off the plane and gone to work, as though they had just woken up from a long night of sleep. Ziva hadn't dared to sleep on the plane, but Tony had insisted and woken her up when she had another nightmare. They took turns sleeping after that, so that he wouldn't be sleeping at the same time as her. The flight was longer on the way back.

They were slumped at their desks and staring into each other's eyes. They were supposed to be doing their paperwork, but neither of them was interested in the computer at the moment. They were lost in their thoughts of Paris and each other. But, they didn't dare speak of it. There was a sigh from the desk next to them. It was Gibbs

Gibbs could see a change, though he didn't know how much they had changed. He could tell they changed because they were lost in each other's eyes the way they used to get lost in each other's eyes. He knew they were exhausted, but he could see that something had made them come back to themselves, or he hoped anyway.

The phone rang and Gibbs answered it. It was Vance calling in to check on everything and make sure everyone was back on time and on schedule and doing their paperwork. He was coming in a little while to collect the paperwork. Gibbs hung up the phone.

"DiNozzo, David, I hate to interrupt the silent pow-wow, you're having, but Vance will be in, in about ten minutes to collect the paperwork. Better get to work on it," Gibbs said.

Both agents jumped and Ziva's face turned red. That was different. Maybe they weren't normal yet. Maybe they were normal. Maybe something happened and that was why her face was turning red. Gibbs didn't know. He shook it off, anything was better than what they had been doing before.

They both started on their paperwork. They gave it to Vance as soon as he was there and McGee looked at Tony.

"So, did Ziva take the couch, or you?" he asked.

"I did," Tony lied.

Ziva had lied to the witness on the plane and said she took the couch. She looked at Tony incredulously. He was covering their tracks as much as she was. She looked away, before she could get lost in his eyes again.

"But, your back… haven't heard one complaint," McGee argued feebly.

"Some things are worth taking the couch over, McGoo, and Ziva's one of them," Tony said quietly, but Ziva heard him and her face turned red again.

"I told you I would have taken it," she argued quietly, knowing that she could keep this up. "I really did not want your back to hurt."

"It's hardly noticeable," he said with a slight wink at her, because his back felt great.

She smirked. "Mon petite pois," she said quietly, "is that a lie I sense?"

McGee looked at the two. They were standing close, nearly on top of each other, definitely invading each other's personal space like they used to do. They were joking with each other, like they used to do.

"No, sweet cheeks, it's not," he said just as sweetly as she had spoken. "That would be a truth. It's where you tell something how it is, you know?"

She laughed and McGee was really confused. Could one trip to Paris really change these two back into who they used to be.

"Um…," he began, but couldn't think of what to say.

Both Tony and Ziva jumped. They looked at McGee and their faces were flushed with color. He knew then that they weren't quite normal. Something was off still, something not nearly as big was off, but they weren't quite what they used to be. Why would they be blushing? Unless, maybe they were hiding something. Had something happened in Paris?

"Yes, McGee?" Ziva asked, walking over to his desk with a playful expression on her face. "Did you have something to say?"

"I was going to ask if you were back to normal," he stated.

"Almost," Ziva said quietly with a smile on her face. "Thanks to Tony, here. He is an excellent listener."

"She talked?" he asked, turning to Tony. "She actually opened up?"

"Something like that, yea," Tony said with a small grin threatening to cross his face as he turned away from McGee to hide the grin.

Ziva nearly laughed, because he was grinning like a teenager who had gotten to go on a date with his biggest crush.

"What's so funny, Ziva?" he asked.

She walked up close to him and leaned up to whisper in his ear. She smiled before doing so.

"That was definitely not your knee," she said quietly and he laughed also.

Yup, they were almost normal and that was great. She was definitely nearly the same Ziva as she had been before. Only now, she had emotions showing on her face when she spoke. They were more obvious to Tony and possibly everyone who was good at deciphering a face that was difficult to read.

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A/N – I couldn't sleep, so you get an extra chapter today! This is kind of fluffy, but I think it was necessary to show how they transitioned easily back into almost what they were before Ziva's small trip to Somalia. I hope you liked it. Leave a review and let me know what you think.


	10. The Nightmares Change

The Nightmares Change

Ziva woke very confused. She shook her head. She had been home from Paris two weeks and had a nightmare every single night; sometimes multiple times during a night. Tonight, however, was different. She shook her head again and looked over at the clock. It was midnight. She had only slept for a couple of hours. She frowned.

Ziva recalled her nightmare perfectly. Normally, they were of the majority of her time in Somalia. They were of the beatings, the questioning, the torturing, the other stuff, but never this. This was very different. This was when the bag had been removed from her head and instead of finding Tony there, she could see her father's face. He had been holding a knife and laughing, telling her that he finally broke her ties with the American's and Tony wasn't going to rescue her.

Ziva realized after a minute that there were tears in her eyes. She knew why they were there. She realized what was causing these tears. But, she didn't know if she could do anything about it. She curled into a ball and allowed her tears to flow. She wished Tony was there, but decided that it was better not to disturb him. He was probably out with some girl or at some bar. It was a Friday night after all, and she would be the only person in the world trying to sleep at this time in a Friday night.

Ziva pulled out her phone and typed in a message and read it four or five times before hitting send.

**Just tell me you are okay. Zi.**

She placed the phone beside her feet on the bed and continued to hug her knees. She wouldn't ask Tony for comfort and she wouldn't ask for anything more than if he was okay. She continued to allow her tears to flow as she waited and waited for a response. She wondered what was taking so long, realizing that he was probably busy at the moment, and hoping that he was alright. She just needed to read a text message saying he was alright.

Her phone buzzed silently beside her. She glanced at the clock. Though it had felt like forever, it was only two minutes before she received an answer. Perhaps he was not busy.

**Yea. I'm fine. What's up?**

She smiled and wiped her tears from her eyes before typing in the next message. Tony was okay. That was all she needed to know. She was calming down as read the text message one more time before sending off her reply.

**I was just worried about you, that's all. You know how Friday nights are.**

She chuckled to herself. She was lying to him a little. She was worried about him, yes. But, this had nothing to do with a typical Friday night and this had everything to do with a nightmare. She wondered if he would see through her façade or not.

Her phone buzzed beside her and she grabbed it quickly and opened the new text message from Tony.

**Friday nights aren't what they used to be, Zi. I'm fine. You had another nightmare, didn't you?**

She sighed heavily. She didn't want to answer that question, though she could picture his face. His eyes would've lit up with understanding as he said this and he would have reached out to hug her, comforting her from whatever horrors her sleep held for her. She decided that she needed to be honest with him.

She opened a new window and typed out another message to him. She was half-satisfied with her answer and half-terrified of what he would say next.

**Every night, Tony. Every night. I am fine now, though.**

She placed the phone next to her cautiously, dreading the next time that it buzzed. She was comforted this time by his words. It was just so strange to have a nightmare about someone telling her that he was dead. Tony couldn't die! It wasn't an option. She wouldn't have it, at all.

Her phone buzzed and she rushed to get it, but hesitated in opening the message from him. When she finally did, she smiled at what it said.

**Thank you for being honest, Zi. It means the world to me. J**

She was glad he didn't offer to come over. He must have known that her reaching out in a simple text message was a huge step for her, because she had never done that much before, no matter what her nightmares contained. She also knew that he had to be curious as to what her nightmare was about if she was texting him after having one, to see that he was alright.

**I know. You're welcome. J**

Ziva put her phone back on the bedside table and laid back down in her bed. She wasn't going to sleep. She was going to read. She didn't want to re-emerge herself into a nightmare that had just ended. She didn't want to hear those words again. They scared her and made her need to text Tony. She felt so far out of control by doing that, but so comforted by him, no matter where he was or what he was doing. She needed to think this thing through.

Why had her nightmares suddenly shifted to worrying about Tony? Or rather, worrying about losing Tony? Why was she finding herself texting him without even thinking about it, when it was obvious that she wasn't in Somalia and no one had harmed him? She shook her head and emerged into a book. It was an escape that she could have for tonight. Perhaps this was a one-night thing to worry about.

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A/N – Yay! Another chapter's done! Here we have Ziva waking up from a nightmare about losing Tony and not understanding it at all. Notice that we've been back from Paris for two weeks. There's been nothing happening between the two for these two weeks. They've only worked together. But, she's losing him in her dreams and not understanding it and finding herself text messaging him to see if he is okay. For Ziva, that's huge! She doesn't reach out to anyone. She usually internalizes everything. Please leave a review about what you think!


	11. Fear of Reaching Out

Fear of Reaching Out

The nightmares continued for another three weeks. They fluctuated at first between old and new. Sometimes they were the tolerable old nightmares and other times they were the new ones, where Tony was dead or not there. These nightmares were unbearable and always ended in Ziva waking up and sending a text message to Tony at all hours of the night and sometimes into the morning.

Tony always answered her text messages, no matter what time of the day or night she sent them, no matter what he was doing, not that he did much lately. He was almost always at home, not doing anything. Ziva had caught him out with McGee one night, but he answered her and didn't tell McGee who he was smiling gat in his phone, because it would have given away something obvious to the others, which he just wasn't ready to share with a coworker.

Ziva was thankful for this. But, her intolerable, unbearable nightmares of the disappearance of Tony began to get worse. She wanted to ask him for help. She wanted to reach out to him and ask him to come over and talk. She really did want to. But, every time she got locked in a text-messaged conversation over a nightmare, she felt comforted enough to relax, just never to sleep.

Ziva was beginning to feel taxed. She was over-tired, over-exhausted, and not sleeping at all. It was showing on her young face. There were dark circles under her eyes that clung their like bruises and her face was off-color, slightly pale everyday, no matter how much sleep she managed to get, because it was never what she needed and she was never fully rested.

There were nights where Ziva would try to go back to sleep after a nightmare and usually ended up having another. It was recently that she had kept Tony awake most of the night with two different text messages. She apologized to him the next day at the end of their workday, because she could see the exhaustion building up behind his eyes too. Neither of them were getting the sleep that they needed and she knew it. She often thought back to that conversation.

**_She caught up with Tony in the elevator on their way out of work. She stared at the dark circles under his eyes that lingered longer today than any other day. She had ended up having two text-messaged conversations with him the night before and realized that he hadn't gotten anymore sleep than she had._**

**_"Tony, I am sorry. I did not mean to keep you awake," she said as she glanced at the emergency-stop switch, knowing that this might turn into a longer conversation._**

**_It was Tony who hit the stop switch and turned to Ziva as they stood there._**

**_"I promised, Zi," he said quietly. "I promised I would answer a text message or phone call. I want to keep that promise. Don't be sorry for talking to me about any of this. Don't be sorry if we're both awake. I would rather hear from you than not if I'm the one you want to send a message to. I want to help in anyway I can. Always know that I'm here for you, Zi. Always. No matter what. I promise."_**

**_Ziva hugged Tony. She pulled him close to her and held him tightly. She needed his words of comfort and hadn't even realized how much she needed his words of comfort. But, she was concerned._**

**_"Will Gibbs not get angry if we are both exhausted all of the time?" she asked, pulling away from the hug._**

**_Tony shrugged. "It doesn't matter," he said quietly. "I want to help and I think he would see that as a good thing, all things considered. He's got to know that you can't just be instantly fine after whatever you went through over there."_**

**_Ziva nodded, knowing that Tony was avoiding thinking about it._**

**_"If you ever want to talk about the nightmares, just let me know. Or just talk. You know I'll listen," he said quietly, a darkness crossing his expression, already knowing that he didn't want to hear about some of them. Ziva was relieved that she had option._**

**_"Thank you, Tony. Again, thank you," she said quietly and turned the elevator back on to finish their journey down to their cars._**

Ziva sat on her bed, thinking about all this. She knew that she was keeping Tony awake. She had just finished another text-messaged conversation with Tony and she was feeling safe. But, she knew she had to think. She really wanted to ask him to help her. She wanted to ask him to come over and make her feel safe. She remembered how well she slept in Paris in his arms. But, what would that start? What would that set into motion?

Ziva was afraid of asking for help. Ziva was afraid to start something that she might not be ready for. Ziva was just afraid of him seeing her feeling that vulnerable. She was afraid to ask the question and see if he was willing to come over, though she already knew the answer. She knew that he would come, no matter what; always; just like he had promised.

But, Ziva was terrified of it. Sure, she wanted to talk and she wanted to talk to him. She almost wanted to open up and share it with him. She almost felt ready to open up, but she was still afraid, telling her that she wasn't ready. She tried to shake it off.

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A/N – This chapter is more of an explanation than an event, I know. But, I thought it was important. I did include a memory of a conversation on purpose and in that conversation I am really proud of the grown-up Tony for speaking his mind to Ziva while she was feeling vulnerable and guilty about keeping him awake at night. And poor Ziva is stuck in her old fears of being vulnerable in front of him and yet at the same time, we see her making some progress, by actually addressing that fear internally. That's a step in the right direction!

I want to send a special thank-you out to my regular reviewers, but especially zoey357. Normally, I reply to my reviews through a private message, but I can't because you're messaging feature is disabled. So, thank you for your reviews. They are read and appreciated! Reviews keep me motivated with the story and make me know what you're liking and disliking. This story has had an excellent response so far and I am loving it as much as I am loving writing this story! So, thank you to everyone whose reviewed! Keep it coming!


	12. Fear of Trust

Fear of Trust

Ziva played with the idea of asking Tony for help for another three weeks as the nightmares continued. It was almost a pattern. There was a "normal" nightmare for every three to five "abnormal" nightmares, as she considered it. The pattern did break occasionally, but that was pretty much how it went. She realized that her logic was backwards though.

To Ziva, the normal nightmares were the ones she still expected to be having, the ones that she could handle on her own, without talking to someone and without having to keep someone else awake at night. These were the nightmares that didn't involve other people, only what was done to her and the ones that were based on truths and not fears. Those were tolerable. She could handle those, because she was already coming to terms with most of it. Sometimes, she didn't even wake from those nightmares and could push them away. Other times, when she did wake from those nightmares, she could just roll over and go back to sleep and have more pleasant dreams. She liked those nights. She usually slept more than the other nights.

The abnormal nightmares were the nightmares that were newer to her and more frequent. They were the ones that she didn't know what to do with and still didn't expect to see. They were the ones based on her internal fear, which she realized, subconsciously, what that fear was, though she wouldn't admit it to herself in a conscious thought. These were the nightmares of Tony being dead or never coming at all and not knowing his fate.

So, yes, naturally, Ziva was playing with the idea of having Tony's presence to comfort her from these nightmares. She was curious to know if his presence when she woke up would affect the way she reacted at all. She knew that it had affected her other nightmares greatly and she assumed that it would make these nightmares virtually worthless, if she woke up seeing that he was there in her bed with her and perfectly fine.

However, Ziva had decided against involving him. Why? She asked herself why constantly, nearly every night. She was constantly questioning her own decision, because she was pretty sure she was making the wrong decision. But, her instincts were something that she still wasn't sure she trusted.

Ziva's instincts had led her to a second of hesitation when she was in Somalia. In that one second, where she hesitated standing at Saleem's back, knowing that it was wrong and cowardly to shoot someone in the back, were when she was captured and taken prisoner. Her instincts had failed her in the worst way. In a way, she blamed her instincts for her capture. She didn't trust them. So she was fighting against them now, because she was afraid that her instincts would fail her again.

But, there was more to it than that. What if she called Tony and asked him to come over? What would Tony read out of that? Did she want him to read anything from it? Not yet, she constantly told herself. She wasn't ready. She knew she wasn't ready.

It was one thing for Tony to respect that for one night in Paris when they were on a work assignment, but would he respect that decision or be that patient with it if she needed him more frequently? Would he grow to have expectations? What would happen between them and would she be really ready for it?

She was terrified of giving Tony that last bit of trust. She was terrified that he would not have any right to have that trust. She was terrified that Tony would end up pushing if she called him before she was nearly certain she was ready for more. She was terrified of Tony getting frustrated and walking away if she wasn't ready for more within a reasonable amount of time after that first call.

When Ziva thought about it logically, or paid any attention to her instincts, which she didn't trust, she knew that Tony wouldn't do these things. But, she had fears, because of her past. All throughout her life, men were impatient and took what the wanted when they wanted or they left without another word. Her experiences were not helping her now and she was fighting those instincts that had failed her one time.

That was why Ziva continued the routine she had started six weeks ago, when her nightmares had changed. She chose the safer option of just sending Tony a text message when she awoke from a nightmare, to make sure he was okay. Hearing from him through a text message was almost always enough to calm her down.

There were times, though, where Ziva didn't calm down until sometime during the conversation, when she remembered that her instincts couldn't be trusted. She would question whether it was Tony text messaging her and those always ended up being longer midnight conversations, because she would talk to him until she got some sign that it was really Tony; whether it was a movie reference, a joke, or a reference to something that she knew had happened at some point and something they both knew about.

Tony never questioned her on what she was dreaming about. He assumed that she was having nightmares about him being in danger. He assumed that she was afraid of really reaching out and fully giving him that trust. So, Tony wasn't pushing Ziva. He knew that pushing her would push her away and give her a reason to not trust him. He knew that was the wrong move to make now.

Tony was along for the ride, but he wasn't going anywhere, no matter what and no matter how long it took her to realize that she could trust him. Tony's heart was set and his mind was made up. He was going to do whatever she would allow him to do to comfort her. He didn't know how long these text messages would continue into the middle of the night and he was exhausted. But, to him, that didn't matter. What mattered was that he was helping Ziva and if she wasn't sleeping he wanted to know about it

But, Tony maintained that he wasn't going to push and patience was coming so much easier to him now than it ever had before in his whole life. It only came easier because she was trusting him some, because she was text messaging him when she needed to.

Tony realized that some of the conversations were longer and those were the only times he was tempted to ask if she wanted a phone call or for him to come over. But, he stuck to his decision and never pushed her. He knew that she was silently thankful for this, and would realize at some point that he wasn't going anywhere or getting impatient.

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A/N – second chapter of the day. It looks like Ziva's fears are evolving and she's beginning to work some things out. She's realized that some of her fears are irrational, though she doesn't trust her own instincts. That could be scary, considering the work she does with NCIS. But, we got to see some of Tony's own resolutions about this too. I think it's very grown-up of him to stick to his decisions and trust his instincts when she really needs him to, without her knowing about it. Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter. Leave one and let me know what you think!


	13. Fear of Disappointment

Fear of Disappointment

Three weeks passed Ziva by, where some of the time she struggled with her fears and other times she didn't. She was definitely improving. It was today that was different from any other day. They were out in the field. They were chasing a suspect when it really hit Ziva that she needed to trust her instinct. The man fired and she pushed Tony out of the way, nearly getting shot herself, except that he pulled her down with him. They looked each other in the eyes for a moment as they heard Gibbs fire his gun. Ziva had hesitated again, but this time unsure of whether or not she should shoot.

"Ziva, DiNozzo, you're with me. Sorry McGee, you're doing the ride back alone this time," Gibbs said quietly, his tone showing obvious anger.

Gibbs led the two to the car and leaned against the passenger-side door. He was staring at Ziva and occasionally shot a glance toward Tony, so as to prove that they were both there for a reason.

"You two are exhausted," he said quietly. "Obviously neither of you is sleeping. That wasn't my first point. Ziva, what the hell was that hesitation about?"

There were tears in Ziva's eyes when Gibbs' eyes went there. He was totally shocked and Tony glanced at Ziva, too, since Gibbs' eyes had gone wide with shock of what he was seeing. He took a step closer to Ziva. She turned her head away and Gibbs was even more shocked about this.

He stepped away from the car and sighed heavily, wondering how he had missed Ziva hurting all this time. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he said with a meaningful glance at Tony who looked confused, but decided it was best to jump on this rare opportunity.

He turned Ziva and placed her back against the car door and looked at her wit either hand on either side of her shoulders.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

Ziva's eyes found Tony's and she shrugged. "I do not know what to say, Tony," she whispered, fearfully.

What happened if she told him what she was afraid of? How would he look at her now? She wasn't the ninja she was supposed to be. She was afraid of trusting herself to make the right decision and that was harder to overcome than anything else had been.

"You questioned yourself," he whispered quietly. "Why?"

She looked into his eyes, she wanted to plead with him to not make her say what was on her mind, but as she started seeing Tony's eyes growing sad from her not talking it suddenly seemed that it was a good idea.

"I do not trust my instincts anymore," Ziva said quietly.

"Why not? They've always been right?" Tony asked, looking sad for her and moving a little closer to her.

Her breath caught in her throat as he moved and she couldn't think straight anymore. She couldn't resist talking to him when he was so close as he was now. She knew she trusted him, but she wasn't sure if opening up about this was a good idea or a bad one. She shook her head, but couldn't force her eyes away from him. Somehow, even though she had avoided too much contact with him before now, they had grown closer through them not sleeping nights and her messaging him in a time of need.

"Not always, Tony," she said quietly, afraid of saying the rest; terrified that if she said Somalia was mostly because of following an instinct he would see her differently.

She was afraid of being disappointed. She didn't want to ruin this with her past or her problems, which was why she hadn't relied on Tony more heavily in her time of healing. But, she was also afraid of disappointing him. She didn't want him to look at her entirely differently because of something that had already passed or some issue she was still having.

"Somalia," Tony stated quietly. She knew it wasn't a question and didn't need an answer. Her eyes grew wide. "What happened? How did you grow to distrust your instincts there?"

"I hesitated," she whispered, afraid that he would not understand; she needed to finish the explanation before he could ask any questions; she needed to get it all out there now. "Saleem's back was turned, Tony. I am not a coward and would not shoot him in the back. Because of that hesitation I was captured and his life was spared."

Ziva looked down at her feet, afraid to see the potential disgust in Tony's eyes and afraid of what he might say to her.

"It's not your fault, you know," he said quietly. "You are a ninja, yes, but you are not perfect. There were many of them and one of you. Honestly, no one else had ever been able to get that close to him without getting captured. You saw me and McGee, right? We got captured in the desert somewhere, not even in his camp already. You made it in and were close to him. You should be proud of yourself. You did the right thing in hesitated. Don't ever question that again."

Tony's hands moved and took Ziva's shoulders, pulling her into a hug that she desperately needed, but didn't feel like she deserved. Tears were escaping her beyond her control and the comfort she was receiving was unexpected and pleasant at the same time. She buried her face into Tony's chest, not wanting anyone else in the world to know that she was breaking down in public.

Tony held Ziva as silent sobs wracked her body. Gibbs could see it and he stayed away until Ziva was under control. Tony just continued to hold her and give her the comfort she needed. He was always going to be there for her. He hadn't expected an answer and was not only surprised to get one, but surprised by what had made her question herself; he was also surprised by the fact that she was blaming herself for being a good person and not shooting someone in the back.

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A/N – Sorry for the delay. I originally planned on having this up last night, but I was just exhausted. So, here we have it now. It has happened. Ziva almost affected the fate of herself and Tony by questioning her instincts on the job, but thankfully Gibbs was there and Tony was thinking. She opened up a little and got the comfort she needed from Tony. Hopefully that will prove to her that he isn't going to see her differently if she reveals her other fears and her past to him. Hopefully that will set things in motion a little for her and jump-start her healing a little further. Though, she is definitely healing. Let me know what you think!


	14. The Nightmares Get Worse

The Nightmares Get Worse

_She heard the normal sound of her cell door as it hit the wooden wall behind it. She wondered what she had done wrong now, or what was causing Saleem Ulman to be angry with her this time. She didn't even bother to look up, already knowing that it was him. But, Ziva was taken by surprise._

_Saleem grabbed a handful of her tangled curls and yanked her to her feet, pulling her hair and causing her to wince in pain and making her legs shake, as they hadn't been used in sometime and were very weak from lack of nutrition and use. Ziva swayed and nearly fell, but Saleem held her up roughly by her arm. She could feel it bruising already under his touch._

_There was a sack placed over her head and Saleem said nothing to her. He didn't even mutter a single word; not in Arabic or any other language at all. He dragged her by the arms from her small, dirty, dusty cell into the hallway, which she had only seen the one time, when she was still a free woman and an assassin of Mossad._

_Saleem threw her into a cell face-first onto the floor. He removed the sack from her head and grabbed her hair again, turning her face to see someone tied to a chair in this small room. Saleem's laughter filled the air and she filled with dread as she lay in the dirt on the floor._

_"He is going to watch this and then you get to watch him die… because honestly once he has seen you naked he cannot live any longer, you remember what I did to that one that tried to have you that day," Saleem said while still laughing hard to himself._

_Saleem slammed her face into the dirt and held her down by the wrists while kneeling behind her and getting himself and her ready for this moment._

Ziva's eyes snapped open and she let out a small and quiet scream. She was shaking and sweating and looking around her room fearfully. She grabbed her phone immediately, but stopped. That nightmare was far worse than anything she had ever experienced since her return from Somalia. She wondered what caused the change.

She remembered that a week ago she opened up a little more to Tony. They had since been spending their lunch-breaks together and she had been talking to him of her fears, even the ones that had been resolved. She was feeling better while she was awake, but this didn't make her feel better.

She realizes what this was. It was a fear of losing Tony. It was the fear of telling Tony exactly what happened to her in Somalia. It was the fear of having him know everything. It was the fear of being vulnerable. It was the fear of watching Tony go in a way she could do nothing about.

Finally, Ziva opens her phone. She thinks carefully and then sends the message that is worded differently this time.

**I hope you are fine, again. They are getting worse.**

She hit send and placed the phone at her side. She stood up and began pacing the room. She had a lot to think about now. She didn't want him to come over. She didn't want to talk about this nightmare. She didn't want to think about this nightmare. But, there was no way she was going to go back to sleep after that.

She had never told Tony what her nightmares were about, but she knew that he assumed that when she was texting him they involved him, because the first thing she did was ask if he was okay or tell him she hoped he was fine.

Her phone buzzed and she almost didn't dare to move, but she needed that comfort. She looked at the clock. _Four in the morning,_ she thought with a sigh. This was the third time she had text Tony tonight. It was the only time she had had three nightmares in a night. She couldn't stand this much longer. She had to do something, but she just didn't know what.

She walked across the room and sat on her bed and read her text message; it was from Tony; it was her reply.

**Three times in one night! I would say so. Are you okay?**

This wasn't a normal response from Tony, either. But then, this was the most Ziva had shared about her nightmares. She did feel better. She sighed and reassured herself that it was only a nightmare and she was fine.

**I am better now. I do not know what to do.**

She hit send and curled into a ball on her bed, wondering. What could she do to fix these nightmares? What could she do without changing everything? What could she do without relying on someone else? What could she do without facing that final fear of opening up all the way to Tony and letting him fully inside her brain?

Her phone buzzed again and she opened the new text message from Tony. She read it.

**Well, you could talk about it, or leave it alone, or have someone there with you, or… I don't know.**

Ziva sighed. She had known these options. Somehow it was easier for her to hear her options from Tony. She opted for a little talking about it.

**In my dream Saleem forced you to… to watch.**

Ziva was shaking from head to foot. She had never shared anything with Tony. She hadn't shared her nightmares or what had really happened and she knew that he would guess this one right. She picked up her phone again, not really sure what to do.

* * *

A/N – Second chapter of the day. I think Ziva got a little too scared in this chapter. She might be making progress during the daytime, but sometimes those things backfire on us when we're alone and Ziva is experiencing this now. I wonder what she'll do. Leave a review of what you think!


	15. Considering

Considering

Ziva clutched her phone tightly in her hands. She glanced at the clock. Five minutes after four. She had just sent the text message revealing to Tony what her nightmare was about and she was honestly afraid. She had never felt so afraid in all her life, not even when she was captured by Saleem and not of anything, ever, in her whole memory.

She wanted to ask Tony to come over. She just wasn't sure it was a good idea. But, she knew she needed him. She needed him there. She needed to see his face and know that it was going to be okay. She trusted her experience with Tony that he wouldn't just walk away upon what she had just admitted to.

Ziva could picture his face. He would be angry. He would be angry at Saleem all over again and probably even her father for sending her there, but not at her. She almost felt like it was her fault. Yes, she had agreed to go and yes, she had hesitated. But she realized that it was Eli David's orders that sent her to Somalia and that he had known that it was probably a suicide mission or going to end in some torture. He had warned her that it might, but then had never given her a choice.

She had come to terms with the fact that it wasn't her fault and yet she still felt the remnants of that guilt. Could she ask Tony for his help with this? Could she ask for him to come over and comfort her right after admitting that? She didn't know. She was too afraid to even breathe. Her breaths were coming in very low and shallow and she sat like a statue on her bed with all her muscles clenched as she tried hard to control the uncontrollable shaking she was experiencing now.

She glanced at the clock. It was now ten past four. What was Tony doing? Why wasn't he messaging her back? Should she send him another message? What would she say when she had no idea what to do with all this.

Ziva felt tears coming into her eyes as she thought that Tony was failing her now, when she needed him most. She was breaking down and losing control. Feeling it slip away a little at a time. What if he changed his mind on how much he wanted to be there for her? What if he changed his mind on how strong she was? What if he changed his mind on whose fault it must be?

The questions flew in circles in Ziva's head, causing her to lose more control. Sobs were escaping her lips and she was shaking more and more violently. But, her phone vibrated in her hands.

Ziva's breath caught in her throat as her tears continued to work their way down her cheeks. She didn't want to read the message, but she knew she had to. She was terrified of whatever it was going to say.

**Meet me downstairs in five. On my way already. Put your running shoes on. I know running helps you.**

Ziva moved automatically, having a difficult time with the laces through her tears. She knew that she should have changed, but she didn't care. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she was wearing a small tank top and small shorts. She didn't care. She needed to do what he told her. He sounded urgent.

But there was hope inside Ziva now. He hadn't forgotten about her and he hadn't run away. As a matter of fact, he was running right at her as soon as she opened the door at the bottom of her apartment. He placed one hand on either shoulder.

Tony took a moment to take Ziva in. She was shaking uncontrollably and there was so much fear in her eyes that he thought she might break in his arms. There were tears pouring down her bronzed cheeks.

Tony's expression turned to one of pain as he realized just how much Ziva was hurting over this nightmare and her past. He realized how terrified she was of telling him exactly what happened in Somalia. He knew now, and he hadn't gone the other way. He had assumed it before and hadn't gone away. He wasn't angry at all, surprisingly, but he was worried about Ziva.

He pulled her into a hug, holding her as tightly as he could bind his arms around her, locking her whole body into his chest and allowing his own tears to fall for her pain. When he sobbed, she held her breath and wrapped her arms around him, feeling the need to comfort his pain as well, even though she was fully aware that his pain was her pain.

Could she ask him for help with this? That was still the question on her mind. He was obviously willing to give it. And right now he was giving it without her asking for it. He knew what she needed and he was in pain because she was. It was terrible and wonderful all at the same time. She didn't want to put Tony through this, but she knew that he was willing to do it to himself.

"I am sorry," she whispered.

"You have no reason to be sorry, Ziva," he whispered back, stroking her hair lightly as they clung to each other as though their lives depended on that one hug.

"I... I did not want to hurt you," Ziva muttered as she pressed her face into his chest, not really sure how to react to her own admission of things right now.

"I only want you to… to heal, Zi," he muttered, pressing his face into her hair. "I want you to heal and learn that everything will be okay, without pretending anymore."

She nodded and squeezed him a little tighter. He was truly wonderful and he had gotten the meaning of her nightmare. He had seen the fear in her eyes. He had seen the vulnerability that she was feeling. He had known from farther away, too. He was too tuned to Ziva and what she needed and they both knew it. But, she wasn't afraid of that at the moment. She was comforted by it. She just wasn't sure if she should be considering getting used to this. But, she considered that she could possibly ask for his help in the future if he was willing to give it in her neediest times.

* * *

A/N – So, yes, we have another chapter, so soon. I had to write these two together, because they are in the same night and the words were in my head, so I had to put them down on paper. Here we see Ziva go through more emotions than every before. But, she is considering that it might be okay to ask for Tony's help. She is really thinking it out now that he is there to comfort her when she didn't even ask for it. And, wow! Tony just knows what makes Ziva feel better and just knows from across town that she needs his help and he comes over. I'm amazed at both of them right now. This is a huge step in the right direction. Let me know what you think!


	16. Realizing the Inevitable

Realizing the Inevitable

Throughout the following week, Ziva's nightmares had been better. They were only once a night and there was even a night where she had had one of her so-called-normal nightmares, where she didn't need to message Tony. However, she had messaged him, because she wanted to share with him. It was subconscious.

They had created a new routine in that week. Tony would wake up and go get coffee for both of them. They would meet in the Navy Yard before work and talk about anything and everything. It wasn't always serious things, sometimes they would just sit, even. They would get to work on time and go through the day, always spending their lunch-break together. When they left work they would go for a walk around the Navy Yard and say goodnight there.

On the weekend Tony had decided that coffee to lunch time was his time with Ziva. He had asked her if she was willing to do that and she had agreed to it with a smile on her face. They had enjoyed Saturday and Sunday doing this and were looking forward to doing it again, though it went unspoken.

Ziva was giving this a lot of thought now. It was Sunday night and it was before she was ready to go to sleep again for the night. She was sitting on her couch with a book resting on her legs, which were curled up on the couch with her. She wasn't reading the book. Instead, she was thinking about her increased time spent with Tony. She smiled to herself as she thought about it.

This was really what made her happy. She realized this. Tony was there for her in ways that she would never trust any other man to be there for her in her whole life. Tony was there for her when she was emotional (not that that was very often, even with these persistent nightmares); he was there when she was happy; he was there when she was alone on the weekends; he was always there to answer a text message (no matter what time of the night, morning, or day); and he was just there. Tony made her happy.

Ziva, of course, already knew how she felt about Tony and was finally getting hit with the reality of his feelings for her. He felt the same. It was he, in Somalia, who had said he couldn't live without her first. She knew that she couldn't live without him. Was she ready for more? Not quite, but definitely moreso than the last time she had asked herself that question.

It was inevitable. Tony and Ziva were heading down a path that could not be corrected, readjusted, or changed in any way now. They were hanging out more. They were more open. They were talking about more things, serious and light. They were there for each other more. They were realizing how much they affected each other on many levels. This required a lot of thought for Ziva, because she was going back further than this year and thinking about it.

When she thought about it they had been on this path for a very long time. It was always inevitable, which she had once argued that nothing was inevitable. However, this was. She knew it was. She knew that sometime, and probably sooner than she was thinking, her and Tony were going to be what they desperately wanted to be. They would get together, finally. She couldn't wait for the moment when she was okay enough to be with Tony in any way. She was anxious for it and her healing was speeding up, she thought.

She smiled to herself again. She had never in her whole life felt so loved and so wanted all at the same time. She had always felt wanted, though. That was a part of being a beautiful woman in Mossad. You had to use your looks to get what you wanted, and therefore you knew how wanted you were by the monsters around you. But, Tony was definitely not another monster. He was a man, and a good man at that.

Ziva had never really felt loved. Perhaps when she was a little girl, before her father's infidelities were known to her and his love for Mossad. But, not in her actual memory had she ever felt so wholly loved and even needed. She smiled again as she thought about how she was feeling from her time with Tony.

There was something going for Tony already. Ziva trusted him. Ziva really trusted him. She had never trusted someone so much in her whole life. It scared her a little, but not like the fears she had been experiencing lately. This was an exciting fear, like the fear she used to feel before a mission or a case. This was a good fear. It was an adrenaline rush type of fear.

Ziva was no longer afraid of reaching out to Tony, because she knew that he would come when she asked. She knew that he would support her and comfort her and he would be fine doing it. She wasn't afraid of giving her trust to him, because she realized that he had it, no matter what, for better or worse. She wasn't afraid of being disappointed anymore, because when she had let herself get disappointed last week, she was pleasantly surprised by Tony's appearance outside of her apartment complex. She smiled again.

That had meant more to her than anything else that had happened. She had just admitted to Tony what had happened to her in Somalia and told her about the nightmare she had been having and she had been terrified of the thought of him knowing. She had, without thinking too much on it, told him what the nightmare was about and told him about what had happened, the worst of it. She had let herself get disappointed because he hadn't responded right away. But, the reaction she had gotten from him was unexpected.

Tony had read the text message and immediately put on shoes and hopped in his car. He had messaged her on his way to her. She knew that he should not be texting and driving, because it was dangerous, but she now understood his urgency. He had come to her, without her asking, but knowing what she needed and given her the comfort she was desperately seeking without a word being exchanged about that part of it.

Tony had not pushed. He had not asked anymore about the nightmare or Somalia. He had held her and comforted her and run with her. He hated running, but he had done it for her and told her he enjoyed it.

Yes, this was inevitable and it was going to happen. She was certainly happy about it and she could not stop smiling once that realization hit her. Perhaps tonight she would rest easy… but, she knew that was too much to hope for, though she liked the thought that someday in the future, she would be able to.

* * *

A/N – I guess I am full of chapters today. I am addicted to writing this story and loving doing so! Here we get to see a happier moment, when Ziva fully realizes what's coming at her. She knows that she is going to get Tony in the end of all this hurt and comfort. She knows that she is going to be happy. She already is beginning to be happy during the day, when she can't have nightmares. She is starting to heal! Leave a review and let me know what you think!


	17. Feeling Helpless

Feeling Helpless

The new routine continued on. However, the nightmares took a turn again as her fear of losing Tony grew, considering she knew she wasn't ready for more yet and was going to wait until she was closer to ready for more to ask him to stay over. She didn't want to disappoint him, but she wasn't afraid of it. If there was one important lesson that Ziva had taken this year it was that Tony was going to be there for her no matter what and he wasn't going to push her when she wasn't ready to do something (though she had learned that with opening up, talking, and trusting). She was sure it applied to other things as well.

Ziva's nightmares were better than that last one, but they were by no means gone. They were not even diminishing. But, at least they weren't getting worse. That was good news to her. She was satisfied with this, feeling that she was healing and hoping there weren't too many more setbacks in that. She had hope and that was something she hadn't truly felt in a long time.

It was three weeks since she had sent Tony that message that sent him racing across town and he had been there for her in ways that she didn't realize she needed; simple ways and caring ways. She always smiled at the thought that Tony had jumped up to comfort her, just as she now smiled at the thought that Tony had travelled halfway around the world for her when she was being held captive.

Ziva got out of the shower and put on some pajamas and climbed into bed, falling into sleep easily, since she was still rather exhausted from her nightmares.

Ziva had a nightmare that night, which was not unusual. What was unusual was the type of nightmare she had had. She had once considered this type of nightmare to be normal, though now it was so out of the ordinary that it caught her off guard and sent her heart rate through the roof.

She sat up in her bed sweating. She was not terrified as she was with the other kind of nightmares. She felt dirty and violated, sure, but she was not afraid of that. Ziva was more confused than anything else. Why had this nightmare haunted her tonight? Why had this come now when she was so hopeful that things were getting better? Was she going back to the old instead of healing from the new?

Ziva got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. She felt totally helpless at this point. She couldn't sleep at night. She couldn't think of anything except Tony during the day. And yet, here she was having this nightmare again, something she had been certain was gone for a long time. She felt powerless to do anything about it, but first thing was first.

Ziva wanted another shower. She felt dirty and needed to clean. She cleaned every inch of her body that Saleem had ever thought about touching. When she got out she immediately headed for her phone, noticing that it was half past four in the morning. At least she was sleeping a little more, she thought.

She typed a quick text message, knowing that there was only one person in this world that could make her feel less helpless than she did in this moment. She could rely on someone to be there for her and she sent a text to that person.

**Run this morning, Tony? Please. I might need it again, not sure.**

This had become a routine. Tony wouldn't enter her apartment and she wouldn't invite him in. She would meet him outside and go for a run with him and if they had work the next day they would go together and if not they would enjoy their coffee, morning, and lunch together. It was routine.

She had never worded it quite like this because there had not been much reason to need the run or the closeness with Tony, though she always felt like she needed that latter of the two lately. Her phone buzzed and she read it.

**On my way. See you in ten.**

She smiled. Ziva, again, as was usual, put on her running shoes and didn't bother changing from her tank top and shorts that she had worn to bed. She hung around for another couple minutes and then went down the stairs and met Tony outside as he walked up to her building to wait for her.

Tony looked at her and tilted his head a little. He looked like a curious puppy when he did this and she nearly laughed. She did snort a little upon seeing this. He knew that he was questioning why she didn't look as broken as she normally did when they did a morning run.

"Old nightmare," she said quietly.

His eyes went wide as he realized what it meant. He looked hurt and she pouted over this. He took his arms and looked at him. She pulled him to her and held him in a hug.

"I am okay, Tony," she whispered. "I promise. I am okay. I just need to do something. I felt… helpless."

He nodded against her and pulled his arms around her and gave her a squeeze. After a short moment he pulled back and looked at her.

"He can't hurt you anymore, you know," he reminded her.

She nodded. "I know," she whispered. "These dreams… they are not so bad… the others…. Well, I don't like them or their thoughts."

He smiled at that. He assumed that the other dreams were about him dying, getting tortured, not being there, or something of that sort. He was pleased to know that she didn't like the thought of him leaving her in any way.

"Let's run," he suggested and she agreed. She did need this, just for entirely different reasons that what he was thinking. She needed the closeness to feel a little more whole than she had before.

* * *

A/N – So, Ziva is accepting some form of help from Tony and she is healing because of it. She is not only accepting it, but asking for it. It's not the help she wants to ask for though, but she is still a little hesitant to ask him to just come over and hold her. She knows where that will eventually go and she is questioning herself. But, I think that the inevitable is coming soon. Leave a review please and thank you!


	18. The Worst Nightmare

The Worst Nightmare

Another week went by and Tony and Ziva settled into a slightly changed routine. They were running together nearly every morning now. Ziva would text, regardless of how her nightmare went and Tony would answer. There was one morning where Tony actually texted her first and asked if she wanted to run that morning. That had made her smile.

Both Tony and Ziva knew that this was more than a run. They both knew that this time with each other was important, not just for Ziva healing, but for them relying on each other and loving each other. But it was unspoken, as most things about them were. They never talked about it. They never purposely thought about it. They just did it.

Tony and Ziva both knew where this was leading to. They both knew that the inevitable was coming along before them, but neither of them knew how far they had to go to get there and neither knew when it would sneak up on them.

It no longer mattered what Ziva had a nightmare about or how bad it was, she would ask Tony for a run, instead of asking if he was okay. That was the way of it. There was even one morning where Tony had beaten her to the text messages and asked if she wanted to go for a run with him. That had made her smile to herself.

Now she was in bed and drifting off to sleep. She was a little worried about Gibbs, because he was in Mexico again and the last time he was in Mexico he had stayed there for four months, thinking he wasn't coming home. She really hoped that he was not going to just leave, but knew that he would have found a way to say something if he was going to do that. She was just worried about him.

Ziva fell asleep with that being her last thought of the night, which was unusual, since Tony was usually her last thought these days and their morning run to follow. Ziva didn't stay asleep very long tonight. She became aware of her nightmare right away, but couldn't force herself out of this one.

_Someone came into her cell. She didn't know if it was Saleem or one of his men. She had heard the door open with a slam against the wood of the wall behind it, as she had heard it for the last time that someone had interrupted her silent time in that cell._

_Whoever was there for her didn't say a word. They simply wrapped a burlap sack around her head and pulled her to her feet before she could really look at whoever it was. The man was breathing heavily from needing to bear her weight and his, since her legs were so weak that they were unable to support her._

_She knew it was Saleem himself, since he didn't train like he trained his terrorists. He didn't need to train, being the mastermind of his "organization" as he called it. She was dragged from her cell, forcing her legs to do something other than the nothing they had done for so long. She was dragged down the hall which she could picture, since she had been taken down the hall a few times before. She knew they entered another cell, because she could hear the familiar sound of another door being slammed open before her. It seemed larger than her own cell and she wondered if she was back in that very first cell where she had been interrogated so many times before._

_She was thrown into a chair, which, by the feel of it, was solid wood. She had not been sitting in one of those solid wood chairs in almost three months now. Was Saleem going back to his first interrogation technique, thinking that what he had done to her in the most recent weeks was not working? It wouldn't work. She wasn't going to talk. She would never tell him anything about NCIS._

_The bag was taken brutally off her head and Tony was sitting in front of her with a determined, but almost happy, look on his face, staring her straight in the eyes. She did notice that his eyes were a little widened as though he hadn't expected to see her._

_Was Tony there for her? Why? Why had he come? Was she really worth the trip halfway around the world after betraying him like that? Was she worth a trip into a terrorist training camp? Was she worth him risking his own life for her? What could have brought him that far?_

_Saleem walked over to Tony and pressed a shining metal knife to his throat, the blade just barely touching his skin. Saleem gave an evil glare to Ziva and slit his throat slowly right in front of her for her to watch. She processed everything quickly. She watched the determination slip from his eyes, the life in him vanish, and the care in his expression wash away. She let out a horrible shriek of pain as she watched everything vanish from Tony and felt an empty whole ripping through her heart._

Ziva's eyes snapped open. She was wide awake now. She sat bolt-upright in her bed, noticing that she was sweating and shaking in a panic and fear. She had had many nightmares of losing Tony or not having Tony or not knowing where Tony was or what his fate might be. But, this was nothing like those dreams. She had never watched Tony die, she couldn't even think of this.

This was the first time that her nightmares had forced her to watch Tony die. She had never been able to imagine what he would look like being killed and now she could see it and it terrified her. She was sweating and shaking. She needed help. But, who could she call for this? What time was it anyway?

Ziva glanced over at the clock on her bedside table. She was still shaking uncontrollably. It was two in the morning. Perhaps Tony would still be awake, though she knew he would answer anyway. She could not call Gibbs, he was in Mexico. That was all they knew about it. He had run off to Mexico again for some reason that he wouldn't tell any of them and they had had no contact.

Ziva picked up her phone and found Tony's name in it. She reached for her Star of David necklace that he had given to her during their stay in Paris and she clung to it for every ounce of comfort that she needed right now. She hit the send button, calling Tony and pressed the phone to her ear. He wasn't far away and she knew he would come.

* * *

A/N – I think this nightmare made Ziva fully realize what she already knew. I think it's hit her hard that she really can't live without Tony. I think she is now seeing what she needs to see. How will Tony react? What is Tony thinking now? What has Tony been thinking of this whole thing for the last few months? Leave a review and let me know what you think.


	19. Tony Looks Back

Tony Looks Back

Tony was never a very patient man when it came to waiting on a woman before in his whole life. But, for some reason, it was definitely different with Ziva. He would wait for her forever he needed to. He would wait until his last breath came to him and then he would whisper those words to her that he needed to say. He hoped he wouldn't have to wait that long, but honestly, she had a lot of healing to do.

Tony lay in his bed thinking at night. He was doing it again. Things had changed over the last four months. Things were different. Four months ago his super powerful and emotionally strong ninja wouldn't even look at him. They had kissed in Paris and now they were totally different than ever before.

Ziva was afraid and Tony knew this. Tony knew that she was afraid of many things and they all tied back to her past or Somalia. He was slowly getting the information from her and it pleased him to know that she was talking to him now. That meant that she did trust him. The only thing that kept him hesitating was her well-being. He wanted to have her for his own, but he didn't want to hurt her or rush her into it. He was willing to wait for Ziva and only for Ziva.

He could remember when she started opening up about her fears, when she had not trusted her instincts and it had nearly gotten both of them killed. He wasn't angry with her. As a matter of fact, he was very worried about her. He had talked her through it and was glad that Gibbs had taken a step back to keep her comfortable enough to talk about it in public.

He could remember when she revealed to him something that had happened in Somalia. Her nightmare had been Saleem forcing him to watch. He hadn't known, at first, what she meant, but he caught the meaning only too quickly. Perhaps he should have text messaged her before jumping into action, but he had known that she needed him and as much as it pained him to know that she was suffering because of this, he needed to help her, because he wanted her to be happy and whole.

Now they were running together every morning and that nightmare had been the beginning of this. They were eating lunch together everyday and sharing walks before and after work to talk and be near each other. It was overwhelming how much had changed without a word about it being said. But, he was glad. He was glad that things were going in this direction. He could feel hope and he could see that Ziva felt hope, which made him overly happy.

He loved her and he knew he loved her. He also knew that she loved him. He knew that she was terrified of this love and the amount of trust she had for him. He was happy that she loved him and happy that she trusted him and he wasn't going anywhere.

Tony was, if nothing else, stubborn. His stubbornness used to be a burden to others, but it wasn't this time. He knew how to deal with Ziva and knew Ziva very well (and she was stubborn too). Tony had decided that he was going to wait for her and he hadn't even been out with anyone other than McGee in over a year. Tony was going to answer her text messages, no matter what and he had done that so far. Tony would answer a phone call if it came his way, which it hadn't yet, but he knew that it would someday. Tony was going to do everything he could to help her and he had done everything she would allow him to do so far. Tony was never going to leave her side and he was never going to hurt her. That was what he was being stubborn about.

If Gibbs or McGee knew about these resolutions then they would wonder what had happened to the typical playboy Tony that couldn't wait for a woman. They would wonder what happened to his impatience. They would wonder what changed him. Gibbs would figure it out quickly, because he had obviously been in love a time or two. McGee, on the other hand, he wouldn't figure it out. He would go to Abby, who would hunt up and down to find the answer and he wasn't sure if she would.

Tony wasn't impatient for the phone call, because he knew that the first phone call was not going to be a happy one. He knew that the first phone call was going to be like the last time that he went over to her apartment after her telling him something about one of her nightmares. He knew she would be feeling helpless, alone, hurt, and scared. But, he would go and he would comfort her like he did in Paris. He wouldn't offer to go into her apartment, because that was her place. He had gone to the outside of the building before, but that was different. That was for their run. The final step had to be hers to make.

With that thought. Tony drifted off to sleep. He drifted off only to be woken up shortly after. His phone was ringing. It was not giving him the same message alert tone as normal. It was ringing.

Who was calling him? Gibbs was in Mexico so it wasn't a case that they had, but someone was calling him. He glanced at the clock first. It was two in the morning and he had only just fallen asleep. He looked down at the phone. He was shocked. His heart first skipped a beat and then sped off wildly out of control as he looked at the picture from his contact list that had popped up onto the screen of his phone.

* * *

A/N – Here is a Tony chapter for you with some reflection about the last four months. Tony is not afraid or impatient which is good. But, I don't think he expected his phone to ring. I don't think he expected a phone call so soon. Let me know what you think!


	20. Reaching Out

Reaching Out

It was Ziva calling. She had never called before. She had always sent only a text message. She was calling now at two o'clock in the morning right after Tony had thought about what would happen when she called. He knew that she needed him. He didn't hesitate; he simply answered the phone.

"Ziva?" he asked into the phone, his voice concerned.

_"Tony, I... I need you,"_ was all she said. Her voice was quivering as though she was very upset and afraid and he knew what she needed. She needed him to not just come over, but to go up the stairs and give her the comfort she had been denying herself for too long.

"I'll be right there, Zi," Tony said quietly. "You at your place?"

_"Yes, upstairs,"_ she said. That was all. The conversation was over.

Tony jumped from the bed and found his shoes. He had a spare key to her apartment, from when she had first gotten this one. She had told him that she wanted someone she trusted to have a key in case she was in trouble in the middle of the night or something, or needed help with something.

Ziva hadn't ever asked Tony to use that key or told him that she needed him. This was huge and Tony was responding to it well. She was so independent and he knew this and sometimes that frustrated Tony, but not lately, because she had been opening up to him in recent months.

Today, however, Ziva reached out to Tony. She had called him when she needed him. She had called him and specifically told him that she was upstairs, which was his invitation to come in and comfort her, something they had both been waiting for through four long months of recovery.

Tony wondered what triggered this phone call as he climbed into his car. He knew it had to be a nightmare that would make her place the phone call. It was definitely a nightmare about Somalia, but with how hurt she felt he was sure it was a nightmare about his short time in Somalia and not just her long time there.

Tony drove too fast and was lucky enough to not see any cops on the road. He was glad it was a Sunday night and no one was actually on the roads of DC as he drove. He knew that normally they would be clogged no matter what the hour. He was thankful that it was tonight that she was calling.

He slammed on the brakes, double parking, which he knew would annoy Ziva when she saw it. But he had to get to her. He entered the building for the first time since she had first come home. He went straight to the elevator and climbed in, pressing the button that took her to her floor. He was bouncing on his toes as the elevator climbed slowly upward. He was nervous.

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open and he rushed out and found her door, pulling out the spare key that would let him inside her apartment.

Ziva heard the lock click five minutes after placing the phone call. How fast had he driven to get there that soon? She didn't know and she didn't want to know. The door creaked a little as it was pushed opened and then it creaked again as it was pushed closed. She listened as it clocked back into place and the lock was turned again. There was also a rattling of keys hitting the floor as they were dropped and picked up again, only to be placed on the hook by the door.

There was silence for a short moment, which felt like an eternity. She finally heard his footsteps on her wooden floors coming toward her bedroom, where she was sitting on her bed curled in a ball and fighting off tears.

She was clutching at her Star of David necklace a little tighter as she heard his footsteps. Was it bad that she knew his footsteps from everyone else's in the world, without his shoes on? Perhaps. Today, though, she thought it was a good thing. Otherwise, she would have had to find the gun that used to rest under her pillow. She had removed the gun sometime ago, realizing that she was safer in DC than anywhere else. Now it lived in her nightstand drawer at night.

Ziva was safe with Tony. She had been safe in Paris and she would be safe for the remainder of the night with him there and she knew it. But, she felt vulnerable to the fact that she had invited Tony into her apartment, wondering if it was the right move or not, knowing that she was following her instincts without hesitation again.

Tony didn't knock on the bedroom door, he only pushed it open to find Ziva curled in a ball on her bed and clutching at the necklace that he had given to her, looking afraid and hurt. He walked over to her slowly and sat down on her bed, hoping that he could actually give her whatever comfort she needed. He put a hand on her knee and looked at her carefully.

"What's wrong, Zi?"

"Another nightmare," she responded.

"Like the one that got us running together?" he asked and they both remembered that moment.

She shuddered. But, this was worse. Ziva shook her head and she finally let the tears go. They were streaming down her face and her eyes met Tony's.

"No," she whispered.

* * *

A/N – Finally! Ziva called Tony and Tony came over and all the way into the apartment! Now she's taken another step in the right direction, even though she's hurting. I know she'll end up comfortable with it! Let me know what you think!


	21. Confessions Part 1

Confessions Part 1

"Talk to me, Zi," Tony pleaded quietly, trying hard not to push her into it. "If you're comfortable with it."

"He killed you, Tony," Ziva stated, staring into his eyes and her tears flowing faster down her cheeks. "He slit your throat while I watched. I watched you die!"

"Shh," Tony said quietly, not moving yet. "It's okay, Ziva. I'm here. I'm right here. And I'm alive. Saleem can't hurt me."

Tony pulled Ziva into a hug and Ziva wrapped her arms around him for a moment, but then she pulled back, there was something important to say to this man and something she had resisting saying for a long time now, since she had seen him in Somalia so long ago.

"I _can't_ lose you, Tony," Ziva whispered, afraid to admit it. "I... I can't live without you, either."

Tony's eyes went wide upon hearing that. Not only had she used a contraction, but she had really just responded to what he had said under truth serum almost a year ago. Some piece of him had hoped she wouldn't remember his spoken words and the truth to them, but he was glad now that she did. He could see the truth behind her eyes. It appeared to him that they now had a lot of talking to do. They had not shared so many things with each other and now this was being said. That was a lot for him to take in. he stared at her for a silent moment and then thought he must ask.

"You remember that?" he asked her.

"You were only being honest," Ziva confessed.

"So are you," Tony pointed out sternly.

Ziva searched his face. His expression turned soft under her gaze she watched his judgment wash away and care return to him. He opened his arms again and pulled her immediately into his side, sliding his way the rest of the way onto her bed and laying back with her, so her head was resting on his chest. He held her in his arms protectively. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. This ninja, a year ago, would have killed him for thinking of this moment, but now she was relaxing into him like he had always hoped she would one day.

"What did you mean, Tony, when you said that if there were any questions I didn't want the answer to, to not ask them?" Ziva asked quietly as she rested her hand over his heart and began to trace light circles there.

God! Her hands felt so good on him! He didn't think he could ever get used to that feeling. But, right now, he had a question to answer.

"Well, I meant what I said. But, what came to mind then was how I had ended up there," he said quietly. "How I had gotten to the point where I wanted to travel halfway around the world to kill Saleem, or what I was thinking when I said I couldn't live without you when I thought you were dead."

"Would you answer those questions now?" Ziva asked nervously and in nothing more than a whisper.

Tony picked his head up and looked at her.

"Ziva, are you sure you want to hear it? It could change everything. Do you want everything to change?" Tony asked.

Now it was Ziva's turn to raise her head. She thought deeply about his words for a short moment. She chose her reply carefully, touching a subject that she thought she should never approach with him, because it was forbidden, just like all of this was forbidden.

"Tony, Paris changed everything," she admitted, her voice a little stronger than she expected it to be, though it was still laced with vulnerability. "Paris changed everything, but the aftermath of having that comfort, of having that satisfaction and that contact… that part was not a good change. I have had these nightmares and you know that. They have gotten worse. I tried to ignore them, you know that. I tried to pretend they weren't there and you know that to. I tried to pretend that Paris did not matter. I tried to pretend your words in Somalia did not matter. I tried, Tony, I really tried. But, Tony, I am tired of pretending. Yes, I really want to know. How did you get to the point of traveling halfway around the world, thinking I was dead, when you say you could not live without me? What were your intentions? What were your thoughts when you saw me alive?"

Tony sighed heavily and closed his eyes for a second. Ziva's hand touched his cheek when his eyes closed, causing his eyes to snap open and find her curious chocolate eyes trained on his green ones.

"Do not close your eyes, Tony," Ziva requested. "I like to see what your thoughts are."

He smiled a little and then proceeded to answer her questions. He took in a breath and answered her honestly, confessing everything he didn't know he could confess to her.

* * *

A/N – Well, not only did Tony come but now they are going to have a serious conversation about things that definitely matter. There are a lot of confessions to be had and I will have the second part of this up momentarily. Let me know what you think!


	22. Confessions Part 2

Confessions Part 2

"I wanted revenge, Ziva," Tony confessed. "Do you remember what we learned about Gibbs, when Shannon and Kelly were killed? Do you remember what Abby told us about that?"

Ziva nodded lightly to Tony. She understood perfectly where he was going with this and her eyes were wide with that understanding.

"It was that kind of revenge that I wanted. But, I never had any intentions of surviving that mission," Tony stated honestly to Ziva and felt her flinch in his arms; he tightened his grip on her, knowing that hearing those words were hurting her. "Going in there, Gibbs had volunteered McGee to help me so that I would have to find a way out. They all knew that if I went in there alone, I would not come back out. They were trying to protect me in a way, I think. But, that didn't stop me from thinking of a way to save McGee and not myself. I had a plan. But, I had to change that plan when I saw you."

"You were going to die, because I was dead?" Ziva asked, even though she knew that was exactly what he was saying and why he said that. "Why?"

She needed to hear it from him. She needed to confirm what she was understanding from all this and she listened carefully to his response.

"Because I couldn't live without you, Ziva. Still can't," Tony confessed. "My thoughts, when I saw you alive… I was shocked, but very happy. I had never been so happy to see your beautiful face in my whole life. I had never been so happy to know that you were right in front of me and still too far away to hold and touch. I had to change my plan because there wasn't a choice anymore. I had to get you out of there alive and me, too. I had to."

The determination in Tony's voice was overwhelming, but the hurt and love in his expression was comforting to Ziva. She was definitely understanding his words. She had a few things to confess to herself. She lowered her head.

"When you shot Rivkin, I was grateful, Tony," she said quietly, still leaving her face in Tony's chest.

He reached out and lifted her head gently, so he could look into her eyes. He saw nothing but the truth and vulnerability there of things that they had held inside themselves forever and had never thought of sharing before this moment.

"I was grateful, because I was trapped with Rivkin. He was an assignment that my father had given to me and I hated it. I hated Rivkin and I hated my father. It was very much like the assignment that you were given with Jeanne in many ways. However, mine was only assigned because my father thought I was getting too close to you," Ziva admitted. "The only thing that kept me from talking to Saleem about NCIS was you. If I had not known you I do not think I would have kept quiet nearly that long, Tony. But, I had to. I had to keep quiet and endure whatever torture he could think of, no matter what it was. I had to protect you. I could not live in a world without you in it. I could not picture a world without you in it."

There were tears streaming down Ziva's face again. She was thinking about that dream and about how it made her feel to see Tony dead in front of her and she never wanted to see that again or think about it again.

"That brings us back to this nightmare," Tony said quietly. "They hurt you more than you're saying, don't they?"

Ziva nodded slowly, allowing her tears to flow freely while Tony looked at her. She was not afraid of showing her emotions right now. She felt safe with him there even though she also felt vulnerable, which normally terrified her.

"What do they mean to you? Aside from the fear and sadness?"

"They are telling me what I already know," Ziva confessed quietly. "They are reminding me that I cannot live without you. They are telling me that I need you in my life. They are reminding me of the way I feel for you."

And, that was the subject that they had both avoided for far too long. It was out now and Tony was going to ask the question that needed to be asked now that her words were spoken.

"And, how is that, Ziva?" Tony asked her quietly, afraid that she wouldn't answer.

"Tony," Ziva said warningly, her eyes warning him that it was his turn to be cautious about what he was asking of her. Her heart was racing. She didn't know how to say the words, but she had to find a way to get the point across to him.

"I need to know, Zi," he whispered, knowing that she needed the push now.

Ziva bent her head down. She pressed her lips cautiously to Tony's. It was her way of answering him. She didn't know how to answer with words. Her tongue touched his bottom lip, asking him for permission for more. His lips parted and their tongues met in a dance in the middle.

She poured her heart into this kiss and he responded just as passionately with equal emotions. Ziva's hand went into Tony's hair and Tony's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him and holding her tight against his chest. They kissed for several minutes, until they were both out of breath, their hearts pounding out of their chests and their bodies begging them for more.

"I feel the same way," Tony confessed in a whisper in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine and also letting her know that he got the message.

Ziva's face broke into a smile and she pressed another kiss to his lips. She was still cautious, knowing how they both felt emotionally and physically. What the hell were they supposed to do now? Could they break rule twelve? Were they already breaking it? What the hell was this? They couldn't define those things tonight, though. They couldn't think clearly enough to define those answers now.

* * *

A/N – So, everything that needed to be confessed was confessed in someway or another. And they finally kissed again and gave into something that they've been resisting for a very long time. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. This story has an excellent response and I am excited to keep writing for everyone! Let me know what you think!


	23. Calling Almost Every night

Calling Almost Every Night

The next night, Ziva experienced the same nightmare, but she managed to wake herself up before witnessing Tony's death. It was midnight and she called Tony with the same sad and hurt words that she had used the previous night. She needed him. That was all she could manage. He came, of course, and comforted her. They got a little lost, kissing each other that night, but she was comforted and eventually fell asleep in his arms.

The next night she didn't have any nightmares. She woke up in the morning, realizing that she had slept through the night. It had been about a year since she had had a full night of sleep. It was the first night that she had woken up and had no nightmares since returning from Somalia and it was only the third night of her hard realization that she couldn't live without Tony and admitting it to him. She thought back to what she had dreamed about.

_Ziva sat on her bed. She was wearing clothes she would wear to bed. Tony came out of her bathroom. She guessed it was morning, since there was sunlight filtering in through her windows. He was wearing nothing but shorts. His toned chest was showing and she smiled at him, feeling her heart race as he walked closer to her._

_Tony crawled into the bed and gently pushed her backward, hovering over her and staring into her eyes. She didn't know how long he stared, but soon enough he lowered his head to hers and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, to which she responded, feeling her heart flutter at the contact. His tongue traced along her lips, asking for entrance._

_She allowed it and their tongues got tangled as her hands went to his back and hair. His slid down her sides, causing her to shudder slightly in delight and kiss him more urgently. His hands traced the contours of her body and hers traced nondescript patterns on his bare back. It was then, that she realized that he was at the bottom of her shirt and tugging on it, pulling it upward a little at a time and tracing his hands on her bare stomach and sides. She moaned…._

Ziva stopped thinking about the dream. She smiled to herself. That was certainly a different dream and something that she was interested in, but she definitely needed a shower now and a cold one at that. She went off to take her shower happily.

The following night, however, she had another nightmare. This one was better than the one of two and three nights ago, but she still called him. She enjoyed having his company when she was not the happiest and a text-messaged conversation just wouldn't do tonight. She had seen the first horrible dream where he was forced to watch, as she had told him. She hadn't let the dream go that far, but she was still emotionally rattled by it and he came to her again.

"Ziva?" he said as he entered her bedroom, seeing her curled in a ball just like the other nights that she had a nightmare on. "What was it about?"

She looked at him, feeling very vulnerable. "He made you watch," she said, the words leaving her lips easily, though they were filled with all kinds of emotions.

Tony walked over to the bed and sat next to her on it. He could see that she was getting better and he could see that his presence had a huge effect on her. He could see that she relaxed visibly as soon as he entered the room or when he touched her gently and reassuringly. He did that now. He placed one arm around her and pulled her back to lie on his chest and hold her tight.

"I'm glad you called," he said quietly. "Thank you."

Ziva raised her head and looked at him. He had never thanked her for calling him. He had never thanked her for reaching out to him or asking for his help. Wasn't she supposed to be the one thanking him for coming to help her? Wasn't she the one who was supposed to feel grateful? But, she could see his point. He was happier when she called him. He was happier all the time now.

"No, Tony. Thank you," Ziva whispered, still looking at him. "Without you here, I do not know what I would do. I do not know how I did it before. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being trustworthy. Thank you for the promises you have made and kept good on. Thank you for everything, Tony."

She leaned in before he could respond and pressed her lips to his. He pulled her close and they got lost in the feel of kissing each other, which was something that happened more frequently now that Ziva had called and opened up her heart to him a little. They weren't supposed to be kissing. They were supposed to be friends, and nothing more. But, they were something, though they weren't saying what.

They slept easy the rest of that night in each other's arms, only beginning to realize how important this time was to each other and how needed it was for both of them to have each other like this.

The following night, Ziva had another nightmare. This one was not bad at all, but she called again. She was still affected by it and when she considered the possibility of sleeping after that, she couldn't imagine it. She couldn't sleep, because she didn't want to have another nightmare. He came again. They kissed again and again and again. They slept in each other's arms and in the morning they woke at nearly the same time and stared into each other's eyes before kissing again.

She was calling him almost every night, she realized and so did he. And they both enjoyed what was happening when they were together, though they never spoke of it and tried to pretend it wasn't happening, because in all honesty Ziva wasn't sure she was ready for all that kissing even, let alone the more that was obvious to both of them, however unspoken it was. All they knew was that nothing was going to change anytime soon, because they were currently happy with the way things were being handled.

* * *

A/N – So, we just journeyed through four nights here. We can see that something changed between them, but I don't think it's registered with either of them yet, how much has changed with them. I think they'll see it soon enough! Review and let me know what you think!


	24. A New Routine: A Day with Tony and Ziva

The New Routine: A Day with Tony and Ziva

They woke up in the morning still clinging tightly to each other. They had their routine from before and their routine from now and it was all mingled together. It was the first time Ziva thought about it. She found herself staring at Tony as she thought about how much she was relying on him right now to help her through her hard times and she realized that she could have him for her good times, too, even though she wasn't ready for that.

His eyes fluttered open and he found the chocolate eyes of his partner and the only person he loved with his whole heart. A smile flitted across his lips and he reached his hands up and placed on at the side of her cheek and the other in her hair, pulling her face down to his own, pressing their lips together, since the alarm had not yet gone off.

Ziva inhaled deeply as his tongue traced along her lips, requesting more from her. Her lips parted and their tongues met in the middle. She reached traced patters on Tony's chest with one hand and relished the feel of his hand in her hair, tangled among the curls there.

Their tongues did a sort of tango for a while, until the alarm clock started to ring off, telling them that it was time to get up and go for their morning run, which they had not abandoned with the change in the circumstances. They pulled apart and smiled at each other, still not speaking of these small kisses that they were sharing now.

Ziva reached over and turned the alarm off and got out of bed. She handed Tony some of his spare clothes, which he had taken to leaving at her place, for when she called. They changed and walked outside. Once they were in the warm morning air they shared a look and began their run. They ran for about an hour before turning back into Ziva's apartment.

They shared a kiss and Ziva showered first, followed by Tony. They changed into their work clothes and headed toward the elevator, so they could get their coffee before work. Tony walked her to her car and placed a kiss on her forehead and they drove off in separate cars, meeting at the coffee stand in the Navy Yard.

They walked while drinking coffee and talking of nothings and relaxing before it was time for work, being careful to keep an eye on the clock as they went along with their day. They arrived at work together and on-time and sat at their desks. Work was fairly normal. There was no case and no paperwork so they were looking at cold cases and they just did what they were told. They got their lunch outside on the Navy Yard lawns at noon and sat at a table together eating silently.

Before heading back into the elevator to bring them into the NCIS building, Tony stopped Ziva and looked into her eyes. He pulled her tight to him and pressed a gentle and careful kiss to her lips, to which she responded. They did not get too lost, but their fingers remained laced together as they finally stepped into the elevator, only dropping each other's hands as they reached their destination and the doors began to slide open to the squad room that was work.

The afternoon was quiet as well and they were told to go home at five o'clock. But, Tony and Ziva had already established a routine for after-work times. How would this be affected by their new closeness.

They found a restaurant and ate dinner together and went for a walk on the edge of the water. It was already getting late. Tony walked Ziva back to her car, where the parking garage of NCIS was nearly empty. He put a hand on either shoulder and held her close to him.

"Well, I will see you tomorrow," he said quietly.

"Yes, you will," she responded, also placing her hands on Tony's shoulders.

They pulled together quickly and kissed passionately outside of their place of work. They couldn't resist it anymore since giving into each other a little while ago. When they pulled apart they stared for a moment and Tony smiled at her.

"Goodnight, Zi," he said quietly as he turned to walk to his car.

"Goodnight, Tony," she responded before he turned around.

They drove to their separate apartments, but it wasn't long before Ziva called him again, after having another nightmare and she was back in his arms and really all over him. But, they didn't talk about it. They didn't speculate about it. They just did what felt right and that was all that they could do for now.

It was a new routine that now included nights together and kissing and cuddling. However, they both tried to act as though nothing had changed, even though they were both more than aware that something was definitely changing with them and they were denying it for the sake of rule twelve and what could happen to them if they were ever caught doing this.

Today was the first day that they realized just how much had changed between them and still neither of them said a word to the other about it. Really, they didn't need to. They didn't need to share the changes, because they both knew when the other became aware of the changes. They both knew that the other was aware of what was going on between them, whether it was spoken or not at that moment.

* * *

A/N – I had to walk you through a day with Tony and Ziva, because they had a complicated enough routine before Ziva called Tony. When you add in the fact that they are so comfortable kissing and cuddling with each other it complicates the routine a little. However, I think that they are in some stage of denial, because they honestly don't want to disappoint Gibbs or their coworkers with jumping into something when it's clear to both of them that Ziva just isn't ready for what they are doing, even though she is the one who started it with calling Tony and kissing Tony.


	25. Flirting, Banter, and Playful

Flirting, Banter, and Playful

They had a case. They were at work. But, Ziva and Tony were standing close to one another in the observation room as McGee and Gibbs were on the other side of the glass with a witness or suspect, which they weren't sure which it was. Ziva's eyes moved to Tony and his to her, she slipped between him and the glass and smiled up at him.

"Miss David, are you obstructing my view of this important interrogation?"

"I would never dream of doing such a thing, Mister DiNozzo," Ziva said her eyebrows raised as sarcasm dripped from her.

She purposely raked her eyes up and down his body and he moved a little closer to her instinctually, placing one hand on either side of her as he stared down into her eyes.

"See something you like?" he asked with a smirk on his face.

She laughed. "You wish," she commented and rolled her eyes sarcastically and stepped away from him a little.

"I know I do," he said, his expression playful and lustful at the same time.

Her eyes went wide and then she stepped up to his side again, pressing herself into him and staring him straight in the eyes. "Do you really? Is the suspect that good-looking? I had not noticed?"

The suspect was a hot-blonde, the kind that Tony normally would have gone for, but he hadn't so much as looked at the suspect long enough to know anything other than she was blonde and female. His eyes darted that way now and then he shook his head.

"Nah, I was clearly referring to Gibbs," he said quietly. "You know that's the way I swing now."

She laughed. She was having a hard time keeping their playful banter to a casual level at the moment. She dropped her head on his arm and he picked her chin up with his fingers and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Aside from that, I did have someone in mind," he said seriously. "You might even know her. She is this beautiful Israeli ninja, former Mossad turned NCIS agent. Locks of brown curls and these beautiful and inquisitive chocolate eyes; she has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. Do you know who I'm talking about?"

Her breath caught and she smiled and flushed a little with color. She looked up at him. "I bet her eyes are not as beautiful as the thoughtful green ones that pierce through her façade," she said quietly.

"Hmm, I would bet they are," Tony disagreed.

"You know, Tony. I would say we disagree on that," Ziva said brightly, as she pressed closer to him.

He turned her so that her back was against the observation glass and she was staring into his eyes. He put a hand on her cheek and she rested one against his chest. She gave a soft squeeze to which he jumped a little and she laughed.

"I think that falls under sexual harassment, Ziva," Tony said.

"I don't know, do you want me to not do it again?" she asked playfully.

"Only if you don't want me to do something similar," he stated.

She did it again, testing the waters. What was he going to do?

He reached his hand that rested on the wall down and cupped her round butt in his hands and he gave it a light squeeze with a playfulness in his eyes. She squealed and jumped and laughed. They both laughed together for a moment and then their expressions turned serious again as they stared into each other's eyes.

Neither of them noticed that the interrogation room was completely empty again. Tony was staring into her eyes and their faces were merely inches apart and the handle of the observation room door started to turn. They jumped apart, blushing and laughing as it opened.

"You two plan on working today?" Gibbs voice asked, seeing both of his agents laughing at something. "And, what is so funny?"

"Tony," Ziva said.

"Nah, it's Ziva," Tony responded.

"You two are like children sometimes," he said rolling his eyes and closing the door behind him as he walked out.

They both laughed again and then left the observation room before someone else could come along and find them laughing at each other. They enjoyed the lighthearted attitude that they could take at work with each other when they thought no one was watching. It was a relief to them through all of the emotions that crept up at night.

* * *

A/N – This is something fun for you. We've had so much serious and painful, that we needed to see the side to Tony and Ziva that we all know and love! Hope you like it, since I know they did! Leave a review!


	26. Getting Better

Getting Better

Ziva woke up, confused as to why she was awake. She looked around and was sad to see that Tony wasn't there, but then she didn't have a nightmare did she? She didn't. She really didn't. But, then, why was she awake? She was shivering a little. Suddenly her bed felt very cold and lonely without someone next to her. She stood up and paced the room. She went into the living room, where she had left her phone last night, since she had nearly fallen asleep reading.

She picked it up. Her phone told her that it was three in the morning and she should be sleeping if she was not having nightmares. But, she felt so alone. She wasn't sure what to do. She couldn't just ask Tony to come over, could she? Perhaps she could message him. She knew that he would come if she asked him to with a nightmare, but what if she asked him to without a nightmare. They did have their routine.

She opened the messaging screen and typed out a message that she wasn't really sure she should send. Were things really going to end this soon for her? She wanted Tony there, but she was not sure that she should have him there every single night. She had gotten used to having him in her bed and sleeping in his arms. But now, she was alone and did not have an excuse to call him to come over. Should she? Or shouldn't she? She hit send.

**I am confused. I did not have a nightmare, but I woke up. Zi.**

She sat on her couch and played with the edges of her book absentmindedly while she thought. It was only a week since she had called him that first time and already she had allowed herself to become accustomed to his presence in her home, so much so that she felt lonely when he was not there when she woke up without a nightmare.

She was definitely confused. She was exhausted and yet she was still waking up in the middle of the night, regardless of whether there was a nightmare or not. She would have thought that she would not wake up if there was nothing waking her up. Her phone buzzed, interrupting her thoughts.

**That is a good thing, though, right? You not having a nightmare? But, what woke you up?**

She shrugged and typed out a reply. She wasn't sure why she had woken up, but she was going to be honest with him about it and not hide things, because hiding things had caused all this to take longer than it otherwise would have. She realized that she could be open with Tony through a text message, phone call or whatever.

**I do not know, Tony. I just woke up and was very confused. It is three in the morning and I did not have a nightmare. My place just feels empty now and I am cold. It is not even cold outside. I turned off the AC.**

She hit the send button and went back to her thoughts. She knew she was not going to find an answer to why she woke up so easily in her thoughts, but she thought she already knew the answer. She knew she was missing Tony and she was sure that was the answer that she wanted. But, inviting him over when she did not need his comfort was an entirely different thing. That was not asking for help from a friend who was something more on the side. That was asking for him to drop whatever he was doing for no reason at all, for her.

She shuddered half in delight and half in nerves. She knew that he would come if she asked him to. She would do that for him. She knew how he felt and he knew how she felt. This would start something that she wasn't so sure she was ready to start. No, starting was the wrong word. This would make whatever they had going grow and she was not even sure she was ready for whatever they had going. Her phone buzzed again, interrupting her thoughts, again.

**You turned off you AC? Zi, you are one crazy ninja chick! It's not anywhere near cold outside. Perhaps you should open your window?**

She laughed and typed a reply and read through it once before sending it off.

**I will do that, thank you, Tony. You certainly do know how to make me laugh. That does not explain why I woke up, though.**

She shook her head. Ziva suddenly realized that whatever her and Tony were doing now, they had to keep it quiet. They needed to cut back on the more public displays of affection. The kissing and hand-holding at the Navy Yard, mainly. Because it was going to get them caught and they would not have any answers for what was going on, since they had not talked about it. Perhaps they would have to decide that before she decided if she was going to randomly call him in the middle of the night simply because she was having trouble sleeping. Her phone buzzed as she thought about this.

**Perhaps you are feeling lonely, Zi. I know I am. But, we have to be at work early tomorrow. Why don't you try to get some rest? I mean, we both know neither of us has slept a lot in the last several months. It would be good to get the rest while you aren't having nightmares.**

She knew why Tony said this. She knew why she didn't ask him to come over. It was the same reason and she knew it and therefore wasn't at all disappointed with his answer. It was always easier to hear things from him. She typed one last message as she got into her bedroom and crawled back into bed, after going the dresser and grabbing one of Tony's T-shirts, so that she would smell him around her.

**I will do that. Thank you, Tony. Goodnight.**

She put her phone down on the bed and it buzzed one more time. The message only said "Your welcome, goodnight," as a reply. She smiled and drifted into sleep before she could think anything further on anything that had happened in the last week.

* * *

A/N – Uh oh! Ziva might not be disappointed, but I am! Tony, however, doesn't want to push the boundaries anymore than Ziva wants to push them. Kudos to Tony for not inviting himself over to her place and letting her have the final say in it! I'm not so sure Ziva is comfortable with this getting better thing now that she realizes that means she doesn't have Tony by her side. But, never fear, she will find a way around it I'm sure. Review and let me know what you think!


	27. Florida

Florida

"You're going to Florida to watch for any signs of the Reinosa Drug Cartel," Vance said sternly. "And that's final, no more arguments, Agent David!"

"Yes, sir," she said unwillingly and left the office, heading straight for the break room, nearing tears and going to lunch without Tony or permission from Gibbs.

They all watched her go. Tony saw the expression on her face. She looked like she was ready to cry. He noticed that she wasn't heading for the elevators. What had Vance said to her to put that expression on her face? Tony glanced at Gibbs who was staring at him as he stared after Ziva.

"Go, DiNozzo," Gibbs said with a knowing look on his face.

Tony didn't need to be told twice. He nearly leapt out of his chair and nearly ran toward the break room, where he found Ziva still fighting the tears that were in her eyes and the hopeless expression on her face.

"What's going on?" he asked her as he sat down and took her hand in his on top of the table.

"Vance is sending me to Florida for the summer," Ziva said sadly. "Work. I hate this! I do not want to go! Why can he not have the Florida team checking out the Reinosa Cartel? Why do I have to go?"

Suddenly, Tony was very sad too. He didn't want Ziva to go. But, he sighed and reasoned with her anyway.

"Because you are very good at what you do, Zi," he said quietly, lifting her chin up so she could look at him. "Listen… I'm… well, I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'll still be the same Tony when you get back and I'm only a phone call away, you know that, right?"

He knew that was what was causing her to be sad and he knew that whatever was going on between them was very unspoken. He was terrified of actually saying this, afraid that she would run when she heard the raw emotions in his voice. But, he was glad to see that she wasn't running. He was glad to see her sitting right there.

"We will be okay?" she asked.

"Absolutely. I promise," he said quietly and stroked her cheek with his thumb. She leaned into his touch.

Needless to say, they both felt a little better and a little more free with that promise out there. However, Ziva didn't end up spending the whole summer in Florida. She had a nightmare on her second night there and it was the kind that only Tony's arms could comfort. She tried to call him, but it wasn't the same and he could tell by her voice that it wasn't the same. She could tell that it was hurting him too. She didn't sleep for another five days before she called her doctor and asked for a note to return home, because she wasn't sleeping so far outside of her comfort zone and it wasn't healthy.

Vance unwillingly allowed Ziva to come home, feeling like he was being let down and set back by Ziva now. Vance didn't know what was going on between the agents, but he had to let it go, because, when he saw Ziva the morning of her return, after DiNozzo picked her up at the airport, he could tell that she wasn't entirely healed, but that she was more comfortable with family around her.

Vance spent the entirety of that day watching the two agents and the way they interacted around each other. He could definitely see a difference from the last time that he had stood on the catwalk and watched them nervously. They were doing their best work now, even better than before her time in Somalia. He wasn't sure what was going on between them or if something was going on between them, but he knew that whatever it was, he wasn't going to question it, because they were doing good work.

Sure, she wasn't completely healed but that would take some time. She seemed to be on her way there. Now he understood why she had reacted to the news so wildly. He thought back on the conversation.

**_"I'm sending you to Florida to watch for the Reinosa Cartel. You have to watch for any of them and since you look like any nationality I'm sure you can pull of Hispanic well," Vance said._**

**_Ziva shook her head wildly. "Director Vance, no! Please! Let me stay in DC! I can't go to Florida! I can't go now! I... I just can't!"_**

**_"You're going, Ziva. That's an order!"_**

**_"Please," she pleaded._**

**_"Unless I get a note from a doctor saying exactly why you can't travel to Florida for work, I am considering this a part of your job to do as I say. Which means, that you are going to Florida, is that clear?"_**

**_Ziva muttered some argument and looked as though she was about to cry, but was holding back._**

That was when Vance had spoken again. He knew now that there was something more behind this reaction and he didn't know what it was. He shook his head and continued to watch as the two were standing close to one another and getting lost in each other's eyes after doing their paperwork. He shook his head one more time.

* * *

A/N – I was originally going to do more than one chapter on Ziva's time in Florida, but it sounded long and boring when I did it out, so I put it all in one and I think everyone still gets the same information. We've got some of Vance's point of view here, which I think is good for a change. At least he's realized that she's not fully healed. Good for him. And, I'm glad Ziva didn't spend the whole summer in Florida! That makes the rest of my story possible! Leave a review!


	28. Change

Change

Ziva woke up, again. She didn't have a nightmare, again. She looked at the clock. It was midnight. She was surprised that it was so early. She felt as if it were later. She had only been sleeping for an hour at the most. She wasn't confused today, but she did feel cold and alone again. She had been home from Florida for four days and hadn't had a single nightmare, but she had woken up every single night after only a few hours of sleep.

She knew what she needed to do. She grabbed her phone off of her nightstand and hit the speed-dial button on her phone that gave her Tony. She listened to it ring a few times with a determined expression on her face.

_"Ziva?"_ he answered into his phone.

"Tony, could you… um… come over?" she asked hesitantly.

_"Sure, what's wrong?"_ he asked.

Nothing. Nothing was wrong at all. Everything was fine. No, that was wrong. Tony was not there and she had not spend time outside of work with him in a week and a half, aside from their walks at the Navy Yard and their lunch breaks during the day.

"Nothing really. I just miss you," she admitted with a slight smile on her face.

She heard him chuckle and she wanted to chuckle too, but there was still a part of her that was afraid he would turn down the offer.

_"I'll be there in ten minutes, ninja. Just sit tight,"_ he said quietly and she smiled to herself.

"Thank you, Tony," she said, feeling her face already flushing with color as she said the words.

_"No, thank you, Zi. By the way, I miss you too," _he said, causing her face to go red again. "I'll see you soon."

The phone call ended. Ziva was impatient and anxious. She just wanted Tony to be there already. She walked to the living room where she paced until she heard the lock click on the door. She turned to face the door and it opened to reveal Tony. He smiled at her and she walked straight up to him before he could close the door. She wrapped her arms around him, smiling into his chest. He chuckled again and closed the door behind him, feeling for the lock to make sure they were alone and safe.

Ziva leaned up on her toes and pressed a hesitant kiss to his lips. He responded more than willingly and pulled her more into him, allowing the kiss to deepen immediately. Her hands were on his back and he had one in her hair and one around her waist. After a moment, she pulled away and blushed a little.

He reached a hand up and stroked the reddish tint on her cheeks, causing them to redden a little more. Her eyes darted away from his momentarily and then found his again. His expression was caring and cautious as he continued to stroke her cheek, standing in her doorway. She smiled slightly and pressed another cautious kiss to his lips.

"Thank you for coming," she said quietly, her voice sounding almost shy about what she had asked of him.

"Thank you for inviting me," he whispered, still stroking her cheek.

She finally stepped a little away from him, pulling him by the hand toward her bedroom. She removed the t-shirt she had on over her tank top and handed it to him and he chuckled at her. She looked up curiously.

"You were wearing my shirt over your own?" he asked, still laughing.

She blushed. "It smells like you," she responded quietly.

"And now it smells like you," he said, smelling it as she bent down to pull out a pair of his shorts from her bottom drawer, tossing them to him.

"I will step out for a moment so you can change," she whispered and then did that. She waited for a few minutes then knocked hesitantly on the door and he responded. He was laying in the bed already and smiled at the sight of her. She returned the smile and crawled into the bed with him and placed her head on his chest and relaxing into him.

Ziva knew this was going to change them. She had called him to come over because she missed him. She had asked him to do something that a friend would not simply do on the drop of the hat and she was ready for it and she could feel it. She wanted Tony and she wanted Tony for herself. She couldn't wait for that moment when she could finally call Tony hers and the thought made her smile into his chest as she inhaled his scent surrounding her.

His arms wrapped protectively around her. His mind was spinning. This was different and good. This was a defining moment and he knew it. This was a part of what defined the future of them. This would change the way they were with each other and he knew it. She had called him because she missed him and simply wanted to be around him. That was huge and he knew it. He knew that a simple friend would not ask another person to do that in the middle of the night, only someone with deep and real emotions would and someone who was ready or considering being ready for something more would do that.

The blush on her cheeks earlier was enough to tell him that she was ready for more or considering more. He smiled as he drifted off into a happy sleep with his ninja in his arms.

* * *

A/N – Well, it looks like Ziva is giving into her emotions now. She called Tony because she missed him and not because she was having a nightmare. This will change the two and the way they think and act around each other. Leave a review and let me know what you think.

Thank you zoey357 for the review. I appreciate the criticism as much as the good stuff. I have in the past written some M rated stories and I appreciate you letting me know that I was starting to get carried away. I will be more conscious in the future, since this is definitely a T rated story and I intend to keep it that way.


	29. Conversations

Conversations

Tony woke before Ziva. He was holding her in his arms and her back was turned to him. He wanted to pull her tighter. He had honestly never been happier in all his life to wake up with a woman in his arms. This moment was completely worth not having been on a real date in over a year (not that his dates had ever been totally respectable).

Tony had gone through quite a long childish phase of never keeping a woman around for very long and going through women quite fast. He had gone through this phase because he was afraid of commitment after his disaster with Wendy, his former fiancée from before he worked at NCIS. She had left him at the altar, quite literally. He was still afraid of that commitment, but something told him that Ziva was more than sure of herself if she was calling him to come over because she missed him, even if she was not consciously aware that she was more than sure of herself.

Tony knew Ziva very well. He knew that she was serious about things that were important and she didn't let go so easily. He was more comfortable with Ziva than he ever had been with any other woman in his entire life. To him Ziva was his partner, his best friend, and his soul mate. She was his everything, his reason to be, and his whole world. She was the one thing that he would drop everything for, no matter what he was doing. He had learned this when he had travelled halfway around the world to avenge her death and ended up rescuing her.

Ziva stirred in his arms and he smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around her. It was so nice to have a full night sleep with this ninja, since she didn't have a single nightmare that night. She had called him without having a nightmare and that was huge. That was a huge step in the direction that Tony definitely wanted to be going in with her.

"Good morning," she whispered, smiling at him, even though she was not yet opening her eyes and looking at him.

"Good morning to you," he said quietly. "How was Florida, aside from not sleeping?"

Her eyes opened and she glared at him. "Aside from not sleeping it was a humid and nasty place," she replied. "I like the hot, but the humidity is not my friend. I am used to a desert and it is dry and hot in the desert."

He chuckled. "Make any new friends while you were down there."

"No," she said sternly with a determined look on her face.

He wondered what about his comment had struck a nerve. He wanted to ask but he was sure it wasn't his place. He placed his hand on her cheek and looked at her with concern.

"Sorry," she whispered, her expression softening a little. "There was this one guy that kept… flirting…" she shuddered at the thought, "with me. He kept asking me to dinner and did not want to take no for an answer. It annoyed me." She shuddered again.

"You're safe now," Tony reminded her. "Just remind me never to get on your bad side."

She laughed at his comment and snuggled back into his chest. It was a Saturday and they did not have to work. That was the best thing in the world. She smiled into his chest.

"Why are you smiling?" he asked suspiciously.

"We do not have to work," she said quietly and picked her head up again to look at him. "That makes me very happy."

"Me too," he muttered.

Tony spent the entire weekend at her place and they rode to work in separate cars, because they were not an item and were not going to advertise that they were spending too much time together in a less-than-professional setting. They were also not sharing with each other these thoughts or what they really wanted to be, because honestly, that was heavy conversation and they were not really up for heavy conversation right now. They had a playful weekend.

Ziva called Tony Monday night around ten and invited him over to her place, wanted to share more time with him. She decided to change things a little on Tuesday and invite him over before they left work. They both smiled and blushed about it as they had the whispered conversation outside of the NCIS building.

They tried to spend Wednesday night apart, but Ziva had a nightmare and called Tony and he came over anyway, so they had failed at that. On Thursday, Ziva gave into her emotions again and invited Tony over before leaving work once more in another whispered conversation, this time in the conference room when everyone else was still away at lunch.

Friday, Tony had plans with McGee to go to his place with him and play some games. Therefore Ziva was on her own for the night. She knew she could handle it, because she knew that if something did happen she could call Tony and he would come over. That alone was a comfort to her and she decided it was time for her to read another book, since she had not enjoyed reading in a while.

Ziva was beginning to feel and look rested now that she was spending her nights in Tony's arms. She felt much better than she had in a long time and she was genuinely happy with everything as it was, though she knew that it would, at some point, change again. Change was inevitable in life and she was almost looking forward to the change and felt almost ready for that change to come. But, she was enjoying the moment for all it meant to her, knowing that it meant a lot to her.

* * *

A/N – So, here we have a conversation and a look at how their week went since Ziva called. I honestly think that since they are beginning to give in they are having a harder tie resisting each other. It's interesting, since they are so tuned to what each other wants and needs. It's almost like they are healing together and growing together as one, instead of two separate people. Let me know what you think!


	30. Tony Calls

Tony Calls

Tony was sitting at the bar, fiddling with the beer in his hand. It was Friday night. He remembered how he used to spend his every night. He was always in a bar similar to this and always on the prowl for some hot girl that he could seduce for the evening and then escape in the morning light. Now, however, Tony was staring at his beer. It was nearly untouched and they had been already sitting there for about an hour.

"Tony, are you going to drink that or twirl it in circles?" McGee asked.

Tony shrugged. He wasn't so interested in the beer in front of him. At the moment all it was serving for was something to do. His mind was elsewhere. As a matter of fact, his mind was across DC in someone else's apartment to a ninja who was probably reading a book and curled up on her couch.

"Earth to Tony," McGee said.

Tony was too lost in his thoughts to speak to McGee right now. That ninja was invading his mind constantly these days when they weren't spending time together. Whatever they were doing, whatever they were, it was something he liked. He liked it a lot. He wanted to spend every minute of everyday by her side if she would let him. Now that he had gotten a taste of spending time with her he didn't want to stop spending time with her.

"Look, Tony! Hot blonde on your six," McGee said, hoping that would catch his attention.

McGee was met by a glare from Tony and not even a slight glance behind him. McGee was a little disappointed, he had never seen Tony like this before.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," Tony said quietly.

"Okay, whose on your mind?"

"Someone," Tony responded.

"You do realize you haven't taken a girl in like a year or something, right?"

"Year and a half," Tony corrected with a sigh.

"What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," Tony repeated.

McGee gave him a disbelieving look and sighed heavily at him. "You don't really want to be here, do you?"

"No," Tony said honestly.

"Go home, Tony. Or even better, go get your girl, whoever she is, tell her you love her and hold her tight," McGee said, resigning himself to the fact that only a girl he loved would be the cause of his mind not being focused on other girls.

Tony nodded and stood up, putting a few dollars on the bar and walked to his car. He made his way back to his apartment and before he knew it his phone was dialed and ringing in his ear.

_"Tony?"_ asked Ziva's surprised voice in his ear.

"Hi, Zi," he said. "I was wondering… well, do you… do you want to come over?" he asked curiously, hesitantly, and fearfully.

There was shocked silence for only a short moment.

_"Yes. Tony, are you okay?"_ she asked, wondering what had made him call her on his night out with McGee.

"I... I miss you," he admitted. "I miss you and I only saw you a few hours ago."

_"I will be there in ten minutes, Tony,"_ Ziva promised him. _"Just sit uptight."_

"It's sit tight, Zi. Not uptight," Tony corrected automatically and she chuckled.

_"Oh, I know. But you enjoy correcting me,"_ she admitted and Tony joined her in chuckling.

"I'll see you soon, Zi," he nearly whispered into the phone.

Tony waited by the door of his living room. Eight and a half minutes later his door opened and Ziva walked up to him and put a hand on either side of his face. She glanced around his apartment, since she had never been there before. She was unfamiliar with the place and she didn't know what it had in it. She was curious.

This was Tony's sanctuary and she had just been invited in. He had asked her to come to his place. He was letting her into his sanctuary and welcoming her as though she was a part of it.

Tony allowed her to look around while they stood there. When her eyes finally returned to his, she smiled up at him, understanding the significance of this moment. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug, having missed him greatly. He pulled her close to him and pressed a kiss to her lips. That was his thank you to her for coming. That was him giving her what he knew she wanted more than anything, no matter how unspoken it is.

* * *

A/N – some more of Tony's point of view. I guess he couldn't resist having her near him either. That's good though, because that means the feeling is mutual and she is seeing how important this moment is. Leave a review!


	31. Vacation

Vacation

Ziva's phone went off and then Tony's. It was a text message but neither of them wanted to move. They were wrapped in each other's arms on Tony's bed and they were quite comfortable. Ziva reached across Tony and handed Tony's phone to him and opened her new message.

**Everyone has a one-week, mandatory vacation starting after work this Thursday. You're all working too hard and I need my agents at their best. None of you have taken any vacation time in the last four years or more. Take it. Have fun. Vance.**

Tony and Ziva's eyes met. There were practically sparks flying out of their eyes. Tony spoke first.

"Let's go somewhere," he suggested.

"Where?" Ziva asked.

"Well, not too far. I know a good spot on Virginia Beach. It's private. We can rent a cabin up there and get away from things for a week," he suggested.

Ziva's eyes lit up. It sounded wonderful. She kissed him. "I would love to do that Tony," she said quietly.

He pressed a kiss to her lips and pulled her close. "Good," he whispered and hesitated for a moment. "You really don't mind? I mean, we've been spending a lot of time together lately… every night for a while…."

"I want to," Ziva insisted. "I... I enjoy spending time with you."

Tony smiled at her. "I enjoy it too," he said quietly.

"That's not your knee," Ziva muttered to him and laughed and so did he.

"Are you ever going to let that go?" he asked.

She shook her head a little before placing her head on his chest again and drifting into a comfortable sleep with Tony.

They spent the next day planning their vacation and Tony insisted on paying for it. Ziva didn't dare to argue. They were both excited about it and they could tell easily how excited the other was. They simply couldn't wait for Thursday. Although, they weren't leaving until Friday sometime and Ziva would stay over Tony's place. Unfortunately that meant that she had to return to her place at some point.

But there was still one question she had… what were Tony and Ziva now? What were they doing? What were they going to do? What was going on between them? She knew the answers, but she didn't dare speak them out loud.

"What did McGee say when you left the bar?" Ziva asked Tony on Tuesday night while she packed her things, so she could stay at Tony's place after that.

"Oh, um… well, he suggested it," Tony said. "I guess there was someone behind me that he was trying to point out. Didn't even look. They just don't look like they used to."

Ziva nodded knowingly and continued her work with her suitcase. Waiting for Tony to say the rest, but he didn't. She walked over to him when she was done packing and placed one hand on either shoulder.

"You did not really answer my question," Ziva insisted.

"Well, McGee took me out because he thought I had to be lonely," Tony said quietly. "He thought it had been too long since I had gotten a girl… he told me to… essentially he said to go to whoever she was and let her know what she means to me…."

Ziva blushed a little. Avoiding the subject was a wonderful thing, until something like this came up. She almost didn't want to avoid it anymore, but she had gotten the message last night that Tony conveyed every night. She was loved and wanted. He was going to be patient and he wasn't going anywhere. She hoped he got the message. She decided to be playful.

"Oh, and did you?" she asked, making her face look curious.

"I think so," he said. "I also happen to think that she shares the feelings."

Ziva smiled at him. "I think you would be correct in assuming that," Ziva said quietly and got lost in his eyes for a few minutes, until he broke the eye-contact for a kiss.

When they pulled apart they were smiling like there was nothing better in the world and they decided it was time for bed. Soon they would be going on vacation together, which they were both sure would cause them to talk, have fun, and divulge their true feelings. Ziva was sure it would push them both over the edge that they were hanging onto desperately now.

* * *

A/N – They almost had that deep heart-to-heart they need, but not quite. They're still holding back from it. Soon, though. I'm sure they both know its soon that they will discuss things. Let me know what you think!


	32. A Private Beach

A Private Beach

They rode in the car together late on Friday morning. They were silent and holding hands. Ziva glanced down at their hands and instantly got lost in her thoughts.

This was not something that normal friends, coworkers, or partners did. They did not plan a vacation together and hold hands on their way there. They did not call each other nearly every night and kiss and cuddle through their times alone. She knew that whatever her and Tony were it was more than undefined and yet at the same time they were more defined than every before.

The lines were no longer blurred. They were solid and clear. They were to each other as they always had been, but they knew what was okay to do and what was not. They were reading each other better than ever and feeling more than ever. She was okay with this. But, she knew that soon it had to be talked about. She knew that she wasn't the only one who was thinking about the next step in their strange partnership/relationship.

_Relationship,_ she thought to herself. She had never thought of it that way, but if she had to put a word to what her and Tony were she would have used the word relationship. She smiled to herself and continued to think.

It was like there was a damn with water behind it. Paris had been a tiny crack in that damn. It was the crack that allowed no more than dripping water to seep through, but it was still a crack that allowed them to get a little closer together and a little more normal, or as normal as they had been before Somalia.

Her text message about her nightmares changing was another small crack, making that dripping a little faster, but not even a trickle. It was when Ziva nearly got both of them killed that the water was trickling through. She was opening up her mind, her heart, and her fears to Tony and she couldn't stop. There was nothing to be done. But, it was slow, like trickling water through the crack of a damn.

The night that Tony had come over willingly it had sped things up. She was sharing more and she was asking him for a run more. She was spending more time with him and therefore the crack in their damn grew a little more.

When she called him about her nightmare that crack then allowed a steady flow of water to go through. It was slow, but it was going to go, no matter what she did. But, then when she called him for a different reason the dam broke altogether and the water poured through. She figured this, because even one night away from each other was enough to send them both out of whack, not sleeping, not wanting to eat, and only thinking of each other. She smiled. What happened when the water ran dry? She almost didn't want to think of it, because she didn't know what was going to happen then.

They arrived at the private beach in the evening, right before dinnertime. Tony whispered in her ear to go put her best dress on, because they were going out to dinner. Ziva did as she was told. When she came out, Tony was standing, wearing a nice suit and holding a bouquet of flowers for her. He handed them to her and kissed her cheek as she blushed and smiled at him. This felt oddly like a date and she was going to go with the flow of it, because it was everything she ever wanted.

They ate dinner silently and returned to the cabin that they had rented with Tony's money for the weekend. They were content and happy.

"How about a movie?" he asked, pulling out a romantic one, which caused Ziva to blush again.

_He is treating this just like a date,_ she told herself. He was really treating this like a date and she was enjoying every second of it and never wanted it to end. She knew she had a whole week in this place with Tony and she was completely fine with that and whatever came with that. She had decided in the car on the way there that whatever happened here was going to stay with her forever and she was going to hang onto it for all it was worth, because this was what she wanted to do.

"Absolutely," she said.

_God! She looks gorgeous! Can't believe how lucky I am… I wonder if she realizes that to me this is a date… a very long date,_ Tony questioned himself as he put the DVD into the player and brought Ziva over to the couch, holding her in his arms.

They watched the movie together without words. By the end of it they were half-asleep in each other's arms on the couch. Tony turned his head toward his ninja and looked. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing was not yet evened out with sleep. He smiled at her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Tonight was great, ninja," he whispered as he picked her up from the couch and walked to the bedroom with her.

She nearly chuckled, but she was really too tired to laugh fully. She snuggled into his chest, hoping he got the message that she enjoyed it too. They spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, feeling happier than they had in a very long time.

_Great is an understatement,_ she thought to herself as she drifted off into an easy and restful sleep. _Fantastic; a dream come true; perfect is more like it._

* * *

A/N – Okay, so Tony and Ziva finally got to go on their vacation, not too far away, but far enough away from everything and they are allowed to be themselves, fully and completely. We will see some fluff before we get to the important conversation, but I think they are both more than aware of what this is. Leave a review and let me know your thoughts!


	33. A Bikini and Swimming Trunks

A Bikini and Swimming Trunks

The next morning after breakfast Ziva was standing in the bedroom alone, looking at what she had packed herself for bathing suits, not realizing how she would feel looking at them before putting them on in front of Tony. She picked out her favorite black string bikini and held it up in front of her.

Without a second thought, she put the bikini on and glanced in the full length mirror in her room. She put a hair tie around her wrist and as she turned back around she caught a glimpse of the long scar that ran almost parallel with her spin. She grimaced. It was nearly white against her bronze skin and she knew that it stood out.

_It's a private beach,_ she reminded herself, _it's only you and Tony. You can do this. He will not think anything different because of this. He will still love you the way you are._

With a determined look on her face she slipped her sandals on her feet and placed sunglasses on top of her curly hair. She stopped in the doorway of the small living room of the cabin, staring.

Tony was standing there with his swimming trunks on and no shirt. There were sunglasses perched on his head and he was looking out the window. His back was to her. She could see every muscle in it as she looked at him and she smiled to herself. She couldn't get much luckier than she was.

She walked up to him, still determined not to think anything of the obvious evidence on her back that she was still not completely whole. He placed one hand on either side of his waist and moved them upward.

She smiled up at him as he turned around and got a shocked look on his face. His eyes were wide, but he was smiling devilishly.

"That's the same one you wore in Los Angeles," he pointed out.

"It is," she replied and looked in his eyes. "Tony?"

"You look great, Ziva," he said, seeing the hesitancy in her eyes.

She was trying really hard to ignore the scar on her back that she knew was there and he hadn't seen yet. He wrapped his arms around her and noticed it. He turned her around and frowned at the scar. He ran his fingers up and down the length of it, which covered nearly her entire back. Then he turned her around again and looked into her eyes deeply.

"You are gorgeous," he whispered in her ear and took her hand, leading them out of the cabin and onto the beach.

Ziva was smiling to herself. This couldn't get much better. She was right in reassuring herself that he wouldn't see her any differently. As a matter of fact, she was sure that he was more pleased than before he knew the scar was there. He must know what it cost her to walk out of that bedroom with her entire back bare for him to see.

They spent the day laying in the sun and enjoying the warmth. A little after noontime, Tony suggested they build a sandcastle.

"Isn't that something that children do?" she asked. "Tali and I used to build them as children when we would go to the beach in Haifa."

"It'll be fun," Tony promised. "I never got to build them."

She giggled a little and grabbed his hand moving him closer to the water where the sand was wet and they began to dig in the sand and build with it. As the tide came in they hurried to finish it and just as it finished a wave reached Ziva's toes. She squealed at the unseen wave that came up on her and Tony laughed, picking her up around the middle and carrying her away from the water.

"I will save you from the ocean, my dear," he said jokingly and she was laughing as he ran from the water and back to their beach spot.

As he set her down on her feet, she kissed him lightly on the lips, only a small brush of her lips on his and then hesitated, knowing that if she went further this could be it. But, there was definitely a conversation to be had before she could think that way. Luckily, Tony seemed to be on the same wavelength as her, as was usual, and he pressed one firm kiss to her lips and began picking up the beach-blankets and other things they had come out with earlier that day.

This told Ziva that he knew what she wanted, but knew she was unsure, and he wasn't going anywhere. She felt reassured with the kiss and she really did want all of Tony, but wasn't sure. She was questioning herself now that she was completely alone with him. But, she knew she wouldn't question herself for much longer.

"I think another movie is in order with some sandwiches or pizza, what do you think, Zi?" he asked quietly as they got back inside.

"That sounds like a great idea, Tony," she said and began to put stuff away while Tony ordered some pizza for take-out.

A little while later when the doorbell rang, Ziva would only stand facing the door. Tony could see how uncomfortable she was with someone else in their presence and he made the transaction as quickly as possible and went straight to her side, taking her into his arms and holding her tight.

"Better?" he asked her.

"Much," she responded with a wide smile on her face.

* * *

A/N – More fluff for you! Ziva is really beginning to show Tony how much she trusts him and he is honoring that trust in every way that he can! Leave a review and let me know what you think.


	34. Something Different

Something Different

They spent the next two days acting childish on the beach. They played in the ocean, splashed each other with water, threw sand, chased each other, and tickled endlessly. They were currently locked in a tickling match when the water droplets started to pour out of the sky. Tony's hands stopped on Ziva's sides and hers stopped on his as they felt the rain pouring down and they began to get soaked.

Neither Tony nor Ziva had noticed that the sun had faded behind clouds in their childish acts. They were laughing now about this while it poured on them. "Dance with me," Tony said.

"Tony!" Ziva said, scolding him playfully as she allowed him to pull her up and pull him into his arms.

They twirled in a circle and Tony twirled her under his arm before catching her close to him again, to continue their spiraling dance in the wet sand that they were standing on. They were both soaked now and smiling also. Tony leaned in and captured her lips in his own and their bodies stopped the dancing as they opted for another thing that was good to do in the rain.

When they pulled back from each other they were smiling softly at the romantic gestures that had just been exchanged, but there was a serious look on Tony's face. He looked her in the eyes, his hands still on her face.

"You're not just a friend, Zi," he told her, as though these were the most important words for her to hear in the world.

"Neither are you, Tony," she reassured him and placed her head on his chest. He began a swaying dance again, spinning them in circles while she rested her head on his chest and it continued to pour.

After some time, they decided to go back inside and dry off. They watched a movie and went into their bedroom for the night. Ziva was wearing his shirt and a pair of her underwear and he was wearing a pair of shorts. Ziva stood looking at him and thinking.

They needed to have a conversation. They needed to get it out there. They needed to share how they felt and tell each other everything. They needed to make this official. It was real, sure, but it was unofficial and unspoken.

Yet, Ziva knew that Tony was committed to her and only her. She knew that he was not looking at other women and not thinking about other women. The bar night with McGee had proven that to her on so many levels. He had not enjoyed being at a bar. He had not looked over at the woman that McGee was trying to point out. Then, when he had gotten home, he had called her to welcome her into his home as a piece of his sanctuary.

She knew that this was something different. Coworkers did not hang out outside of work. Partners did not go on dates and vacations together. And friends did not kiss each other, flirt, and tease the way they did. They were something different; something more; something important to each other.

She smiled as she realized this and walked over to Tony. She wrapped her arms around him and insisted on bedtime. She could continue her thoughts tomorrow while Tony cooked dinner, since he had promised her excellent lasagna tomorrow night.

The following day was nearly the same routing. While they were chasing each other in the sand, they stopped rather abruptly and got completely lost in each other's eyes, their hearts pounding hard for the first time in a long time. The way that they had caught each other was a way that suggested that more was about to happen, but Ziva pulled away.

_Not here and now. Conversation tonight, after dinner,_ she promised herself. Tony was feeling the same way. He walked over to her and wrapped one arm around her shoulders, looking out into the ocean instead of at her.

_We can't get lost yet. We need to have a conversation first,_ he told himself.

Soon, Tony suggested that he go to make dinner and Ziva finished her thoughts, while sitting in the living room and staring into the blank television screen. She thought about the major changes between them.

The first, Paris, was the beginning of this and even then it was inevitable and too late to turn around and change it. The second, when she text messaged him and they started hanging out more and not sleeping mutually. The third, when she called him to come over and give her nightmares some relief. The fourth, when she called him after returning from Florida because she missed him. The fifth, when he called her wanting her in his arms and therefore silently committing himself to her. This was the last change. This vacation would make them or break them and she knew that.

She was determined not to let it break them. They would work this out. She needed Tony in her life and he needed her in his life. They at dinner silently as they were both wrapped up in their thoughts of how to start this conversation.

"Go outside, I will be out in a minute," Tony said to her. "I'm going to get the dishwasher going and then I would like to enjoy some fresh evening air with you."

She nodded and exited the cabin, walked down the stairs and stopped, staring westward toward the sun which was sinking lower in the sky.

* * *

A/N – A little more fluff, but a little more serious toward the end. At least they are on the same page with each other, no matter how undefined or unspoken everything about them is. That should make their conversation easier. Review and tell me your thoughts!


	35. The Sunset

The Sunset

Ziva stood on the warm beach waiting. The door of the cabin opened behind her and she didn't bother to turn around. She knew it was Tony and trusted him to be behind her and still keep her safe. She was healing wonderfully. She knew that he was probably staring and she was smiling about this to herself.

Ziva closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of the evening as she heard Tony coming nearer to her. She opened her eyes again, watching the sun sinking lower against the horizon.

Tony wrapped his arms around her middle, enjoying the feel of her soft skin in his arms and her bare back pressed into his bare stomach. She enjoyed the feel of Tony's warmth wrapping around her and protecting her from every danger the world could possibly throw at her. She felt safe and she smiled again and allowing herself to inhale his scent instead of that of the beach.

"What are we doing, Tony?" she asked, closing her eyes one more time. She anticipated his answer and smiled before he spoke what she knew was coming to her.

"We're standing on the beach together, enjoying the sunset," he said, speaking calmly, though she could hear the hint of sarcasm dripping from his voice and a slight laughter surrounding him.

She chuckled. She was no longer annoyed by the light moments that broke their serious moments. She welcomed them, knowing that they kept her and him both sane. Standing on the beach, with Tony, enjoying the sunset.

That sounded nice. She smiled. Her thoughts flashed back through everything the last year had offered her from his words in Somalia "Couldn't live without you… I guess," to the most recent months of small looks, touches, cuddling, and kisses that were shared. She continued to smile.

Tony's arms tightened around Ziva as the sun sank below the horizon, leaving nothing but an orange glow behind it. Then, he spun her around to face him, without letting go of her waist or his tight grip on her. He looked into her chocolate eyes, seeing a light of hope he never thought he would see with quite that intensity. This was forbidden. They both knew this was forbidden, and yet here they were.

"We've been dancing around it for years, Zi," he said quietly. "We're spiraling out of control now. What started it?"

"Paris," Ziva answered in one word, noticing that he nodded in agreement and then smiled at her.

They stared into each other's eyes. They both went to speak at the same time and then shared a moment of light laughter as they closed their mouths again. They looked at each other for a short while longer.

"It is forbidden Tony," Ziva whispered, her voice laced with fear. She never wanted to admit that out loud. She enjoyed what they were doing far too much to admit that they shouldn't be doing it. But someone had to say it. "It is completely forbidden and if we are ever caught… well, it might be worse than a head-slap from Gibbs."

"You're an American citizen. It's less forbidden than before," Tony reminded her. "But, you're right."

Tony's head hung in despair. Forbidden was nothing either of them wanted to hear. But, they both knew it. They both knew what was allowed by their boss and what wasn't. Paris, the text messages, the phone calls, and this vacation were all forbidden.

Ziva reached her hand up, touching Tony's cheek and demanding his attention once more. She pressed herself into him a little more. They both nearly exploded with the heat of the contact. It would be something simple to drive them over the edge.

"I do not care if it is forbidden," she said, looking into his green eyes. "_You_ are all that I care about. _You_ are everything to me, Anthony DiNozzo."

He smiled and pressed a hand to his cheek, enjoying the way she leaned into his touch. "We need to have this conversation then."

She hesitated a moment, thinking on her words and then opened her mouth. "I am in love with you, Anthony DiNozzo."

She had been afraid of saying those words. But, once she had opened her mouth with the intent of saying them, they fell easily from her lips, laced with emotions. Tony's eyes gave her comfort before his lips could ever respond.

"I am desperately in love with you, too, Ziva David," Tony whispered back, his voice filled with love.

"And, yet, it is still forbidden," Ziva said, sighing.

"I don't care," Tony said sincerely. "_You_ are more important than anything else in the whole world, Ziva. _You_ are my world and there's nothing I wouldn't do or give to have _you_ forever. I want _you_ by my side."

"And that is where I want to be, Tony," Ziva admitted.

Finally, she leaned in and gave in to what she wanted to do as soon as he turned her around. She pressed a kiss to his lips, pushing him backward, up the stairs and into the cabin they had rented. This kiss was more passionate and raw than any other kiss they had shared throughout the past year. Their reservations were gone and they were giving into everything tonight.

Tony's hands were on her back and hers on his side. They pulled apart, but they knew they weren't even close to done. Tony saw that she was sure of what she wanted, but unsure of how she was going to react to getting it. He gently kissed her cheek and stroked her hair, reassuring her.

"I want this, Tony," she reassured him.

His hand ghosted up her back and pulled on the strings of her bikini before ghosting back down and tugging on the ones at her hips leaving goosebumps on her skin as the fabric fell to the floor between them.

His eyes darted up and down her body, but is hands didn't stray from where her bikini had previously covered her. She looked at him and nodded. "Make love to me, Tony," she whispered.

His hands obliged willingly. He moved his hand slowly upward to cup her breast and she pulled him into her for another deep and passionate kiss. They fell over the edge of a cliff they didn't know they had been standing on and crashed into each other to find pure happiness where they wanted it. Tonight was a new beginning that they were lost in for eternity.

Five years of waiting, passion, love, lust, and want were all coming out now and they knew what they meant to each other that night. This was blissful and heavenly and forbidden, but that didn't stop them anymore.

* * *

A/N – Finally! They finally had the conversation! They are finally together! Yay! Leave a review!


	36. Happiness

Happiness

Ziva awoke in Tony's arms and she smiled into his chest as she snuggled a little closer to him. She knew it wasn't just a dream and yet she was having a hard time believing that it was reality. She was so happy that she felt as though something inside of her was swelling with the joy she was feeling right in that moment.

She was remembering moments from last night. She couldn't believe that she had just given herself to Tony so easily after so long of thinking that she wouldn't be okay if she did that. She smiled wider and began tracing nondescript patterns on his chest.

"Good morning, my ninja," Tony whispered.

"Good morning, yourself," she whispered back and leaned up, pressing a kiss to his lips. "It feels like it should have been a dream."

"Then, I don't want this dream to ever end," he replied and she smiled, while his arms wrapped tighter around him. "It is upsetting that we have to go back home today."

"No, it's not," Ziva said. "We have each other. Though, we should probably keep this quiet from the others. You know… the rules."

He laughed. Now she was bringing up the rules and knowing that they still mattered. She laughed along with him, knowing how ridiculous that sounded after all the not caring they had done last night.

"We can do that," he said quietly. "As long as I get to keep you for myself."

"You absolutely should keep me for yourself, Tony," Ziva said quietly.

Ziva's phone buzzed and so did Tony's. They both groaned. Then, Ziva's phone started ringing. She sighed and got up and looked at it. It was Gibbs.

"David," she answered the phone.

_"Hi. Hate to cut your day off short, but we got a case that needs us,"_ he said into the phone. _"So, give me an estimate of time of arrival."_

"About four hours if I am to leave in the state I'm in. Make it five, I would really like to put some appropriate clothes on and pack my belongings and perhaps take a shower," Ziva said. "Would you like me to call Tony?"

_"Yes,"_ Gibbs said. _"See you two in five hours."_

Ziva was confused by this statement. She stuttered a couple of syllables but never let any words escape her lips.

_"I'll tell McGee that time too, since he's three hours away. That'll give him some time also. Glad one of us is back to process this crime scene though. Dornegat is just not going to do well on this. Perhaps I'll recruit Abby if she's nearby,"_ Gibbs said into the phone.

Ziva was relieved. He didn't know. She would have to work to keep this away from Gibbs and she knew this. She also knew that Tony realized it as well. She pulled on some clothes and tossed some to Tony, who pulled them on quickly. It didn't take them long to pack up, but they interrupted each other frequently, so five hours was a good guess by the time they returned to NCIS.

Once they were there, the crime scene had already been processed and they were standing in the squad room getting filled in on the case. They were standing too close together. Their arms were touching and that was all that either of them could think about.

"Hello! Earth to David and DiNozzo!" Gibbs said, waving his hand in front of the two agents' faces. "Go, pick up this guy!"

They both moved at once, startled by the fact that they had been lost in their thoughts and blushing furiously as they grabbed their bags and headed for the door.

They met Gibbs back in the observation room. He was going to interrogate the suspect they had now. He could see that Ziva and Tony's minds were not done with their vacation and he knew it had been a mistake to call them back a day early, because they had not adjusted to being back at work yet and it was very clear.

He shook his head as he left them alone in the observation room, lost in his own thoughts and thinking he knew exactly where their heads were at, based on when and why they were blushing today. He nearly laughed at them and sighed as he left the room..

"We're going to have to do better than that," Tony said laughing.

"Something tells me that he is somehow involved in all this," Ziva said quietly. "Something tells me that he is the reason both of us went to Paris together."

"Had that feeling for a while. He's been watching us like a hawk ever since. Hiding it from him is not going to be easy," Tony said quietly.

"If he finds out, he finds out," Ziva said with a shrug. "We will make it work somehow. I would just rather he see that it can work before we're sure he knows."

"Me too, sweet cheeks," Tony said quietly and then turned to watch the interrogation.

* * *

A/N – So, Tony and Ziva are happy and feel like they're living in a dream. They are very happy and you will see more of how happy in future chapters. But, for now, they are still working out how to hide this from everyone and the reason why they are hiding it has nothing to do with rule 12. They only want the chance to prove themselves to Gibbs and the rest of their family.


	37. Finding a Routine

Finding a Routine

Tony and Ziva spent nearly every night together for the next couple of weeks. They were extremely careful at work, making sure they weren't flirting, standing too close, touching, getting lost in each other's eyes, or saying something that was better left unsaid at the office. It was a little strange to not do these things at work. However, they didn't keep all of that out of the office, so it didn't seem suspicious to their coworkers at all. To them, however, they had to make the conscious effort to tone it down, since that was all they wanted to do these days.

Usually they stayed at Tony's apartment. It was larger and more comfortable than Ziva's and closer to NCIS. They had decided that when they stay over they would take separate cars to work and a routine began to develop.

They would wake up in the morning, sometimes before the alarm and enjoy a shower, sometimes together. They would go for breakfast or just coffee, depending on what time it really was when they got ready. Then, they would leave in separate cars, sharing a kiss as if they were going to different places of employment. They continued to keep their lunch breaks together and their walk after work. Then, they would go back home. Some nights they would get take-out and have a movie night in, and other nights they would go out to dinner. On late nights at work they would eat dinner together at work. But, they almost always arrived at Tony's apartment together.

This worked for them. They were never overwhelmed with seeing each other too much, because at work they tried to remain coworkers and at home they remained partners in a different way. It worked for many weeks.

They were good at hiding this because they had pretended to not be in love for so long that it was like jumping back into their old routine with the bonus of spending every single night together when they went home from work. They both realized that home was where each other was and that was a good thing, and something that was no longer scary to either of them.

About three weeks into the relationship though, things started to become more difficult when they slept past their alarm in the morning, because they were up late the night before. They were only about ten minutes late, but it was still enough to get some raised eyebrows, though nothing was said.

Ziva walked from the elevator before Tony, because she drove faster and more recklessly than Tony did. Gibbs eyes met Ziva's, with his eyebrows raised. He watched her walk to her desk and then watched as the elevator opened again to reveal Tony coming along right behind her, looking at him in the same manner that Ziva had.

They were both hoping that he didn't notice that they were five minutes late, but he was Gibbs. Of course he noticed that they were both five minutes late on the same morning. He decided to keep a closer eye on his two agents. He knew something was going on with them, but he just didn't know what. Something had changed drastically throughout their last year working together.

Gibbs needed to think on it. He could see the changes in both of his agents. Tony, who was typically a childish playboy, was not flirting with other girls or talking of his nighttime conquests at all and had not been doing so for over a year. He was staring in one specific direction and Gibbs knew that his eyes were set right where his heart was and he knew where his eyes were staring. They were staring directly across from him at the Israeli ex-Mossad agent that sat across from him.

Ziva, who a year ago was not with them, was found stealing unconscious glances at Tony and sharing unconscious smiles with him as their eyes met. When they would realize that someone saw them, they would both blush. Gibbs had never seen Ziva blush so much in her whole life. He realized that her heart was set across from her desk as well. But, what had they done about it? Had they done something about it?

They didn't flirt more than normal, which Gibbs would have expected if they had decided to take their feelings and act on them. They didn't stand closer than normal. They didn't invade each other's personal space more than normal and they didn't touch more than normal. They were still Tony and Ziva the coworkers, as far as his eyes could tell.

However, Gibbs was neither stupid nor totally blind. He realized that something was going on. He knew that they were putting in a conscious effort, because often times he would see them move to stand near each other and change their minds, or go to say something and then close their mouths.

This morning, however, since their being late, they were slipping up a lot more and Gibbs had to nearly laugh at the amount they were slipping. They were staring at each other often, standing in each other's personal space, brushing past each other as though the room was crowded when it was only the two of them and insisting on working together as partners often today. Gibbs really didn't mind, but he wished the two would come talk to him about whatever they were doing outside of work so he would know.

He nearly laughed to himself. He fully realized that if something was going on it was completely his fault that they were hiding it. He was the one with rule twelve and the one who always lectured about not dating coworkers and how dangerous it was on this particular job. But, he had his secret too. He was the one who had made sure that they only had one room in Paris. He had gotten them to this point in some secretive way, because otherwise they might still not even be looking at each other at all. And, given the alternative, this was definitely preferable, because they were working better together than ever before. So, Gibbs really couldn't complain, could he?

"Alright, everyone, go home," Gibbs said at the end of the day.

Gibbs watched carefully as his agents stood up. He watched as Tony and Ziva's eyes made contact for a minute and he could see a spark light up between them. They grabbed their gear and headed for the elevator their hands meeting just as the metal doors slid closed. Gibbs smiled. He wouldn't say anything and wouldn't treat them differently. It was up to them to talk to him.

* * *

A/N – I thought we needed some perspective from our favorite boss! Leave a review and let me know what you think.


	38. Late to Work

Late to Work

It was Monday morning and Tony and Ziva were awake early. Tony was holding Ziva in his arms as they stirred away. He was pressing small kisses to the back of her neck as they lay there.

"If you keep doing that we are going to be late to work," Ziva warned him and shifted a little as her eyes finally fluttered open.

He chuckled and continued what he was doing. He moved to the side of her neck and pressed a few kisses there before wrapping his arms tighter around her and pulling himself closer to her and she realized what kind of mood he was in instantly. She smiled to herself and pressed back into him as a response. He took in a sharp intake of breath.

"I thought you didn't want to be late to work," he said to her in between kisses.

"I am pretty sure that you would rather be late than tease a former Mossad Officer," Ziva said as she spun in his arms and captured his lips with her own before he could answer her.

When they pulled apart, Ziva finally allowed him to speak. "You're right," he said quietly and pulled her back to kiss her again, this time allowing his hands to explore her once more, even though he was certain he had every inch of her memorized.

Sometime later they both hopped in the shower, rushing to get ready and knowing that there was no chance they were ever going to make it to work on time. This would be the second time they were late, but it had been nearly a month since they were late the first time. They were having a particularly hard time this morning keeping their hands to themselves and they both realized that, fully knowing that it would make work excruciating.

They exited the shower at the same time and hurried off to get dressed and get to work. They shared their usual morning kiss at their separate cars and drove to work. Ziva was earlier than Tony again, but a full elevator ride.

She walked into the squad room, noticing Gibbs staring and McGee gaping. Abby was also in the squad room at the moment, probably bored in the lab since they had no cases at the moment.

"You're late, David," Gibbs said quietly.

"I missed my alarm," she said quietly, feeling her cheeks going pink and giving her away a little.

It was not a complete lie. She did miss her alarm, but not because she was sleeping. She missed her alarm because she was in the middle of something else. Her cheeks burned hotter as she thought about it and knew that she had to sit across from Tony all day. They needed a vacation to get some of this energy out of their system or something.

"Sure," Gibbs said nodding. "You know where DiNozzo is?"

"No," Ziva said, hearing the sound of the elevator behind her as she sat down.

She didn't dare to look up at him, but knew that Gibbs was looking in that direction and that by the anger in his eyes it was Tony, walking in as casually as ever, late and proud of it. She was silently proud of it, too, if they managed to make it through the day, that is.

"DiNozzo. Nice of you to join us. Care to share why you're late?" Gibbs asked, as though he was a high school teacher instead of their boss.

"Overslept," he said quietly.

That was a flat-out lie. His cheeks were a little red.

"Funny," Gibbs said. "Seems Ziva did the same thing. Don't let it happen again."

"I won't," Tony said quietly.

"Sure you won't," Gibbs said rolling his eyes and glaring at Tony's chair, indicating that he should sit down.

There were no cases, so it was easy enough to glance up at each other and get lost in each other's eyes for Tony and Ziva. They had to fight to not move across the squad room.

Ziva was definitely struggling this morning. She had so enjoyed her time with Tony and it seemed that the more time they spent together the more she wanted to spend with him and the more they were physical the more physical she wanted to be with him.

She was lost in her thoughts now. She was thinking back to that morning and remembering. She remembered the way he touched her soft skin and the way his lips caressed her body. She was remembering the feel of Tony everywhere. She smiled to herself and knew that she was staring off in his direction absentmindedly. She was having a hard time not getting up and going over to where he was.

Tony was lost in his thoughts as well. He was remembering their morning also. He was remembering the way she whispered his name and look in her eyes as she fell to pieces and the way she loved him with everything she had. He remembered the way her hands ghosted up his back to ask for more and the way she grasped onto him when she was pleased. He was smiling in her direction. He was having a hard time not getting up and crossing the squad room to go to her.

Yet, somehow in this their eyes weren't meeting. They were just lost in their thoughts and happened to be staring in each other's direction.

"You two getting lunch or what?" Gibbs asked, fighting a smirk that was threatening to cross his face. "Or are you having wonderful daydreams?"

They both jumped and got up to go for lunch together in the Navy Yard, without saying a word to each other. They simply couldn't slip in front of Gibbs and there they were, in front of Gibbs, and falling apart at the seems.

Gibbs smirked as they glanced at him. He couldn't fight it any longer. These two were clearly in deep and there wasn't a thing he could say or do about it. Honestly, he was happy for the two of them. Too bad the others didn't know what he had guessed at or what he had done to help it along. He was sure that gossiping Abby would be proud of him, since she quietly known that these two would get together sooner or later. She was still hoping for it, but she wasn't seeing the looks in their eyes right now.

* * *

A/N – So, here is another chapter. It looks like Tony and Ziva are going more than the right direction. In deep for these two is kind of an understatement since they are totally lost in their own thoughts, but Gibbs was never one for words. Leave a review.


	39. Trouble

Trouble

Wednesday the same week, they were having trouble. They had a case and it was an emotional case for Ziva and for Tony. It was a husband and wife who were killed by a rapist. The wife was taken and tortured a little and raped. The husband had gone in, trying to save her on his own without the help of law-enforcement and had ended up murdered. They were having a hard time with it emotionally. They were in the observation room as Gibbs was trying hard to break the man who did this. All the evidence added up, but a confession was priceless these days and evidence was just something to back up a confession.

Tony and Ziva were standing very close as Gibbs was going over what had happened with the man and what they had already worked out. Gibbs wanted to know why. Ziva sniffed audibly next to Tony. Tony glanced over at her and noticed that there were tears in her eyes. Gibbs had asked them specifically to be in the observation room and McGee was with them.

Tony didn't care right now that someone else was with them, he moved a hand to Ziva's back and she glanced up at him, seeing his eyes pooling with tears too. He pulled Ziva into a hug and his eyes met McGee's. McGee's eyes had a question in them. He wanted to know if Ziva was alright. Tony just shook his head and then nodded. She was alright, but she was hurting for a very good reason. Tony didn't want to talk about it, just as he was sure that Ziva didn't want to talk about it, either.

Ziva tried to hold her tears back, but she was struggling. The harder she tried the more she shook in Tony's arms. He was aware when the interrogation was over and that was around the same time that Ziva just let go and cry into his chest, sobbing uncontrollably and letting go of her own past at the same time.

A few minutes later Gibbs came into the observation room. McGee was just standing there staring and there was pain in Tony's eyes.

"She okay, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"Will be, boss," Tony said quietly, squeezing Ziva a little tighter, letting her know it was okay to continue crying.

"You okay, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked curiously.

"Will be, boss," Tony repeated, the pain evident in his voice.

Ziva glanced up, her face covered in tears and noticed how much pain it appeared that Tony was in. This case was hurting him, too. Ziva quickly wiped her eyes free of the tears that she had shed and placed one hand on his cheek.

"That did not happen to us," she said quietly.

"It easily could have," Tony whispered back. "Easily."

"But, it did not. Let us now focus on the good," Ziva said quietly. "If we do not we will remain miserable over the events of the past."

Ziva turned around to look at Gibbs, realizing that Tony's arms were not leaving her, because she wasn't entirely fine, as she was about to tell the others she was. Gibbs had a questioning look in his eyes and McGee was a little stunned a the redness and puffiness of Ziva's eyes.

"I am sorry, I lost it, Gibbs, McGee," she said quietly. "I am sorry. I tried, but apparently some things still trigger some memories from my time in Somalia."

"What happened over there, Ziva?" McGee asked.

"You do not really want to know that, McGee," Ziva said honestly. "Gibbs and Tony know what happened over there, though I have never told Gibbs about it. But, I am certain that he at least guessed it and read my medical file as well as my psych evaluation. I am fine. I promise both of you."

Tony's arms tightened a little around Ziva and Gibbs eyes widened a little, seeing his muscles tense around her. But, he adjusted his expression and understood why he was having a difficult tie resisting comforting her now, because she wasn't entirely fine, just almost fine. Gibbs was quietly glad that Ziva trusted Tony so much, because going through this alone would not be easy and he knew that.

"I'll give you two a minute to work out what isn't fine," Gibbs said quietly. "McGee, let's go start the paperwork."

The other two left and Tony looked at Ziva as she turned in his arms to face him again.

"You really should not have hugged me, I would have made it," Ziva said.

"There were already tears in your eyes, Zi," Tony said quietly. "I know you would have made it, but I couldn't let you be in pain alone. I couldn't let you deal with this alone."

"I know," Ziva said and placed her head back on Tony's chest. "I am fine, really. I just need to get used to realizing how lucky we are. I am happy that we both made it out of there with only a few head problems to deal with."

"I'm happy too, my ninja," Tony said quietly, wrapping his arms around her once more. "I promise to try to be more careful around work. I know that we can't be doing this all the time. They'll know if we do."

She nodded into his chest and took his hand, leading him out of the observation room and dropping his hand as they got up to the catwalk and headed back toward the squad room where the other two were working. They both looked fine now, if anyone was to ask McGee or Gibbs about it.

* * *

A/N – Trouble, yes, but not trouble with Tony and Ziva, which is good. Trouble staying away from each other at work. Trouble dealing with emotions. Trouble holding on when all you want to do is let go. Trouble hiding things from the people around you when the other is hurting. Definitely trouble. But, a good kind of trouble for the two to be having. At least the other two didn't comment that it was Tony that Ziva was able to let go in front of. And, I think her finally crying about it was an important step in her recovery, which is nearly complete, but they hadn't encountered anything nearly that close before and realizing that they both could have lost the other in Somalia was scary to them and a good cause for some tears. Leave a review and let me know what you think!


	40. Jealousy (Part 1)

Jealousy (Part 1)

It was the three-month mark to their relationship and they were late to work. They had a valid excuse. There was traffic, which there was, and McGee was late too because of this traffic. This turned out to be a benefit to them today. Tony and Ziva sat working on finding information on the case when the elevator dinged.

None of them turned their heads, but they were both aware of the unfamiliar footsteps coming their way. Whoever it was stopped near Ziva's desk and waited for a few minutes and cleared his throat when no one looked up. Everyone was immersed in their work, including Ziva and Tony.

Gibbs looked up. He was the one to see this man standing there. He cocked his head as he noticed that Tony and Ziva were working harder today than normal. Then, he looked back at this man.

"Can I help you?" Gibbs asked.

"I am here to see Ziva David," the man said.

Tony looked up now and he looked over the man. Ziva glanced at him and looked furious instantly. Tony saw her fury and wondered who this man was. He glanced between the two and wondered silently for a moment who he was.

"Who are you and why are you trying to take my agent away from her work?"

"I am Ray Cruz and I just wanted to talk to her for a moment," he said quietly.

"Go, Ziva," Gibbs said.

Ziva's eyes met Gibbs, nearly pleading with him to not make her go and jealousy ripped through Tony as he saw the pleading look in her eyes. Whoever this man was, he was someone that Ziva didn't want to deal with and Tony could see that. Gibbs nodded to Tony and he followed them to the break room, staying behind the man, but in Ziva's view so that she would know that he was there in case he needed her.

"How did you find me?" Ziva asked quietly.

"I have my ways," he said with a smirk on his face. "I was wondering if I could offer you dinner, again?"

"I told you in Florida, I'm not interested," Ziva said as she started to walk away.

The man caught her arm and she visibly flinched at the contact. Her eyes met his in fear and danger and Tony wondered why this man was not getting the message. Perhaps he didn't know he was dealing with a former Mossad Assassin.

"I suggest you take your hands off," she whispered dangerously.

"I am interested in you, Ziva David," the man said again.

"I am not interested in you and I am spoken for," she said quietly.

Ray's eyes grew jealous and angered at those words. He looked hurt. He faced Ziva.

"I wanted you before you were spoken for," he said quietly.

"I was spoken for then, too," Ziva said quietly. "It was just unofficially that I was spoken for."

"Then, you weren't spoken for and I could have had you," he argued.

"No, because I did not want you. Do they teach the CIA to be like Mossad or something?" she asked angrily.

"How did you know I was CIA?"

"Just the way you act. You remind me much of Trent Kort," Ziva said. "Now, let go, or I will be forced to remove your hand from my arm and I cannot promise you that I will not harm you."

"What can a woman do?" Ray asked suavely.

"Do you know what Mossad is?" Ziva asked.

"Who doesn't?" he asked in return.

"Good. I was a Mossad Assassin for many years before I became an NCIS Agent. I was the best. I suggest you let go," Ziva said again, moving herself so that she was ready to remove his hand, but without him knowing that's what she was doing.

Tony was jealous that another man's hand was on his girl, but he was proud that she knew how to take care of herself. "I still want to take you to dinner, Ziva. This relationship must be new if you are only now telling me that you are spoken for," Ray said.

Jealousy ripped through Tony and anger ripped through Ziva.

"This relationship has been going on for some time, Ray," she said quietly. "And it's not like you tried to make contact. Do not lie or pretend." She ripped his hand from her arm, nearly throwing him on the ground. "I warned you. Do not mess with a former Mossad Assassin."

She huffed and walked to Tony, who's eyes were filled with jealous. She narrowed her own eyes in slight anger that he was thinking of being jealous of this man.

"Nothing happened," she said quietly and dangerously.

"I know," he replied. "I just don't like him very much. That's all. Are you alright?"

"I am fine, Tony. Just angry. I thought I made my message clear to him earlier, but apparently I was wrong," Ziva said. "Maybe he got it this time."

"This man is your boyfriend?" Ray asked, picking himself off the ground.

"No," they both replied at the same time, knowing that they were at NCIS and couldn't divulge that information. "I'm her partner," Tony said. "It's my job to make sure I've got her back."

"Sure," Ray said, pushing past the two, jealousy flaring in his eyes now.

"You were jealous," Ziva stated with a slight chuckle.

"I'm sure your turn will come, my ninja," Tony said quietly, laughing along with her.

* * *

A/N – I think Ray was more jealous than Tony was and I don't think Ray was convinced by their lie. But, we might not ever know. Good to know that Ziva can still protect herself and she wasn't entirely softened up by her feelings. Review, please!


	41. Late Again

Late Again

The two stirred around the same time a couple weeks later. They had been struggling with getting to work on time. Ziva's eyes opened first and she sat up very fast, reading the time. "Tony!" she nearly shouted.

He sat up quickly and looked around. "We slept through the alarm," he muttered and rubbed his eyes, swinging his legs to the other side of the bed.

"I cannot believe we slept through it again, Tony!" she said urgently as she darted out of bed. "Again!"

They began rushing around to get everything ready. They had gone out last night for a date and come home and made passionate love late. They had definitely overslept again and it was one of the mornings they were supposed to be at work for seven instead of eight like normal. They were in the middle of a case, and this wasn't good at all.

They hurried around each Tony made coffee while Ziva showered. Ziva poured the coffee while Tony showered. They brushed their hair and teeth together and hurried to get their shoes on. They met at the hooks where their keys were at the same time.

Without another word they headed out the door and down the elevator at the same time, giving each other a kiss as they got to their cars, as they always did. Tony waited for Ziva to start her car, as he always did. But, this morning it wasn't starting.

She tried three or four more times, before popping the hood and climbing out of her car. She had no clue what she was looking for. Tony hopped out of his car and came over, pulling up the hood of her Mini and looking around.

After about ten minutes of looking he sighed and shook his head. "Your starter is dead. Jumping it won't work," Tony said quietly.

"What are we going to do?" Ziva asked, kicking the tire of her car.

"Hey, relax," Tony said quietly, pulling her away from her car before she could abuse it any further. "You'll ride with me today."

Ziva climbed into his car. "We agreed that going together was a very bad idea," Ziva whispered as she buckled her seat belt.

"Yes, we did," he agreed with her. "And it still is a bad idea, but you've got to get to work and I'm not going to leave you here stranded."

"I would have been fine, Tony," Ziva said, as Tony pulled the car out of the parking space and hurried off toward the main road. "We're going to get into trouble again. You should have gone without me."

"We'll think of something, Zi, we always do," Tony reassured her as he took her hand and sped off on the main road.

Ziva was strongly reminded of why no one liked her driving. Tony could rival her this morning, though she knew it was pointless to speed, since they were already so late and they were only going to be later no matter what they did. They could have walked and it wouldn't have made a difference.

Tony put the car in park one hour and forty minutes later than they were supposed to be and they climbed out in silence. They got into the elevator nervously, neither daring to look at the other. Their backpacks were slung over their shoulders. Ziva was fidgeting with her hands and Tony was bouncing on his toes. Their eyes met at the same time and Tony grabbed Ziva's hands and stopped bouncing.

"It'll be okay. It always is," Tony promised her. "I promise."

She nodded. Then, he dropped her hand. The silver doors of the elevator slid open with a familiar ding. Both Gibbs and McGee were turned toward them. Gibbs looked ready to kill right then. They should have called, Tony thought. That was a mistake and staying up so late was a mistake. But, they both knew that Ziva's car breaking down was beyond their control. That was their excuse though and they both knew it, without having to voice it to the other. McGee was staring suspiciously at the two. After all, this wasn't the first morning that they were both late and coming in at the same time or nearly the same time and looking extremely nervous.

"You two know how to read a clock?" Gibbs asked quietly as they made their way to their own area of the squad room.

"It is my fault, Gibbs. I am sorry," Ziva said automatically, taking her seat at her desk and heaving a sigh.

"How's it your fault that DiNozzo's late?" Gibbs asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You see, my car broke down this morning. Something in it does not work. The thing would not start! I tried to figure it out myself before calling him. I thought he would already be at work. He was not. When I called him, he came," Ziva explained.

"Then I tried to fix her car, boss," Tony continued, as though they had rehearsed the story with each other on the way to work. "I failed, obviously. It's her starter. She's going to need a new one."

"Sure," Gibbs said, his eyebrows pulling together dangerously. "Either of you know what a phone is used for?"

"I did not think of it," Ziva said shamefully, knowing that they should have called as soon as they knew that Ziva's car was not starting without further investigation. "We should have called."

"Yup," Gibbs said. "McGee'll fill you in on what you missed."

Gibbs left the room, looking positively furious at the two of them, as well as suspicious. Another mistake; they both knew it. They weren't found out yet, they thought. They had good excuses and usually their excuses didn't involve each other. They really had to stop showing up late, though, because they would definitely get caught soon at this rate and neither one of them wanted to be transferred or fired.

* * *

A/N – This was taken from a flashback in "Forbidden" but it was expanded on a little. Apparently Ziva and Tony are good under pressure and work well together in all aspects. But, they still don't know that Gibbs has it figured out and I wonder if McGee's starting to get suspicious also…. Review and let me know what you think.


	42. Going to the Bar

Going to the Bar

"Hey, Ziva!" Gibbs called as his agents were on their way out. Ziva looked back. "Thanks for the receipt, but your car missing was a clue."

Ziva nodded to him, finding nothing to say in response to her actually needing a new starter. She had known that he hadn't believed her and she had brought in the receipt as proof and now he did believe her.

"So, you two going to come hang out with us tonight, like old times?" Abby asked Ziva and Tony.

"Sure," Tony said after exchanging a glance with Ziva to see if that was alright. "Text the address. I don't want to go out in my work clothes."

"Me either," Ziva said. "Send me a text also, please."

"Sure thing," McGee said, typing out the message already in his phone to send to his coworkers.

Once they got into Tony's car, McGee knocked on Tony's window. "Are you bringing Ziva there and back home again? She'll be on my way home if you get too drunk, since I know that she won't be on your way."

"I'm sure we'll be fine, McGee. Besides I agreed to give her a ride until she got her car back from the shop," Tony said. "Besides she threatened me with a paperclip again, so I think its best if I give her a ride."

Ziva was trying so hard not to laugh. They were going to have a difficult time tonight and they knew it. They made it back to Tony's place and were instantly locked in a kiss. They weren't sure how their sexual tension was rising, but it certainly was, despite the fact that they couldn't seem to get enough of each other.

"We're going to be late, my love," Tony whispered to her.

She sighed. "We do not have to go right away. I think they can wait a moment," Ziva said quietly and heard Tony chuckling as he picked her up right off her feet and walked backward toward his bedroom. Ziva laughed.

They were definitely late getting to the bar. As Tony put the car in park he looked at her and shrugged. "When's the last time you were at your apartment?"

"I do not know, Tony," Ziva said honestly.

He shrugged again, turning to a thoughtful expression and then got out of the car, going around to take Ziva's hand. He dropped it immediately as soon as he noticed that Gibbs' car was also at the bar. Well, this evening was bound to get more interesting as they went.

When they walked in, Tony and Ziva merely shared a small smile and a glance as they went to the bar together and got drinks. They joined the small table with Abby, McGee, and Gibbs who were staring at these two.

"You two even have trouble with a clock when it's for fun," Gibbs commented, chuckling as he said this.

"Yes, we forgot what numbers were boss, so even a digital clock is worthless to us," Tony commented sarcastically, knowing that there was no sense in fighting off the suspicion of their Supervisory Agent.

Ziva snorted a little as she laughed at this and they all began to drink in silence for a moment. Then Abby erupted with a story about Major Mass Spec and what he was not doing well at the moment and they all laughed about this.

Ziva and Tony offered to get the second round of drinks. Standing at the bar, they were close to one another and glancing at each other.

"This is going to be disastrous if we stay too long, Tony," Ziva said.

"Hey, relax. We've survived for three and a half months without them finding out. It's time to test it a little and its time to give them some clues, maybe," Tony said gently. "If they figure it out we don't have to work so hard to hide it anymore."

"This is the truth," Ziva said with a smile. "I do not mind if they know, but I am worried about what Gibbs will say."

"So am I," Tony said before turning to the bartender to order all the drinks.

They walked back over carefully with the drinks just as they were discussing the fact that Tony hadn't been on a date in forever.

"When's the last time you had a girl, Tony?" Abby asked.

"Not that long ago," Tony said honestly.

"You never brag about it anymore," McGee pointed out.

"I grew up, McGee," Tony said, pulling his eyebrows together and hoping that this conversation didn't go much further. "Besides, maybe its worth something and I just don't want to ruin it."

Gibbs nodded knowingly and Ziva was suspicious that her boss knew something that he wasn't sharing, but Gibbs said nothing and made no other indication that night that he knew something was going on. McGee continued to press Tony all night and had him looking all over the club at different girls, not believing that he could be in a steady relationship with someone already. They were both glad when the night was finally over and it was time to go back to Tony's apartment and share their own personal time without watching eyes. Somehow they managed to make it through the night.

* * *

A/N – I suppose I could have gone into more details with this chapter, but I felt the need to show the transition between Tony and Ziva thinking Gibbs knew nothing and thinking that he could potentially know something and also show that McGee was concerned because Tony wasn't acting normal for him. Leave a review and let me know what you think!


	43. Ziva Gets a Phone Call

Ziva Gets a Phone Call

It was the middle of October and things were still going wonderfully. Yes, there was suspicion of the two of them, but there wasn't anything that was said or asked that they were unable to answer. They, for the most part, were not questioned. Perhaps the others were a little afraid of hearing an answer from either Tony or Ziva. It did not matter.

They had the weekend off, which was a wonderful thing. Gibbs said they weren't on-call which was another wonderful thing. They were going to enjoy it for all it was worth, because it was rare that they weren't on-call since they were members of the best team in the world and they were in the heart of DC.

They enjoyed a romantic dinner and were now finishing up watching some ridiculous movie in Tony's apartment. They were sitting on the wooden floor with their backs pressed against the couch, already wearing very little, from their earlier interruption of their movie. They weren't entirely sure how they were staying away from each other at work since they had a hard time resisting anytime they were near each other outside of work. But, somehow things were getting easier to deal with, except walking across the squad room to find each other. They were both finding resisting extremely difficult and they definitely needed this weekend off.

The movie finished and they sat there for another moment. Their eyes locked momentarily and a silent agreement was made between them as they leaned in at the same time and pressed a kiss to each other's lips. Of course, staying away from each other was over as soon as their eyes had locked, before their lips had ever met.

Sometime later they were laying in bed, just staring into each other's eyes. They were happier than either had ever thought possible and that was a very good thing, since they definitely deserved it and were starting to see that.

"I think we should call it a night," Tony said quietly. "Perhaps we can go away tomorrow for a picnic or something."

"That sounds great, Tony," Ziva said with a smile on her face. "I look forward to it."

Tony smiled and Ziva laid her head down on his chest. They had just gotten comfortable when one of their phones went off. Ziva reached it first and picked it up. It felt familiar in her hand and she thought it must be hers.

"David," she said into the phone.

_"Um… uh… we have a murder. Ziva?"_ McGee asked awkwardly into the phone.

"What?" she snapped at him, annoyed that they were getting called in on their weekend off. It was so rare that they had time off and she knew that her hopes of having a weekend to get rid of some of this energy her and Tony had was just ruined.

_"Why are you answering Tony's phone?"_

_Oops_, she thought. That was definitely a mistake and it wasn't worth having it happen again. She sighed quietly, though she was sure that McGee could hear it.

"We were at a par picking up women together, McGee," Ziva said sarcastically, realizing that she didn't have any good excuses for this, considering it was nearly two in the morning already and they should definitely not still be together even if they had gone for drinks after work.

She heard McGee sigh in reply. He had caught the sarcasm in her voice and wasn't entertained by her joke in the least. Ziva knew that he was suspicious now of something between the two of them. After all, Tony had turned down two women in the last week and there were many others that McGee didn't know about. It was Ziva's turn to sigh, again.

"Text the address," Ziva said quietly into the phone, really hoping that McGee would drop the subject.

_"Will do,"_ McGee replied. _"But, Ziva?"_

"What, McGee?"

_"What were you two really doing together?"_ he asked, hoping to get something other than a joke or a flat-out lie out of her.

McGee realized that asking Ziva for the truth right now was pointless. He knew that he had annoyed her and interrupted whatever fun she was having at two in the morning when they were supposed to be off work. But, what kind of fun were her and Tony having together? McGee was really hoping that it was just simply socialization, since he really couldn't think of them as sneaking around behind Gibbs' back. And, wouldn't Gibbs realize if they were doing something behind his back? He was all-seeing and all-knowing, which meant that he had to know if something was going on, didn't he?

"Killing children," Ziva said darkly, knowing that no matter what she said that wasn't one hundred percent serious the other field agent wouldn't buy it. She hung up the phone before he could make another remark or ask again in hopes of finding an answer. She only hoped he would take the hint that they weren't going to talk about it, since she realized that he had to be suspicious by this point. "Tony, we have a case."

"That sucks. I was looking forward to some time off," Tony groaned and sat up with Ziva.

* * *

A/N – This is the phone call that McGee makes to Tony and Ziva answers from my other story "Forbidden". I added a little before and a few thoughts in there. Leave a review and let me know what you think.


	44. Eli

Eli

Vance had just finished explaining to the MCRT that Eli David was going to be in town for a couple of days for a conference that Vance was holding for educational purposes for future NCIS members with old NCIS members. Their job was to protect Eli and the people that he was coming with. Vance left without any other questions.

Tony turned to Ziva, who looked as though she were in shock over this news. She was standing as still as a statue and staring at the table as though it were the most interesting thing in the world. Tony picked his head up and glanced at Gibbs, who was also staring at Ziva. McGee was already on his way out of the conference room, accepting the news without further question. Gibbs' eyes met Tony's and he pulled his eyebrows together curiously.

"Ziva?" Gibbs asked. "You going to handle this okay?"

Ziva nodded lightly, but still didn't look away from the table. Tony was beginning to worry. Gibbs could see the worry in Tony's eyes. He could see that he was extremely worried about Ziva and the way she was reacting to this news, as though she were lost in some memory, though she didn't look like she was in pain over this memory, only lost.

Gibbs walked over to Tony and placed a hand on his shoulder as Tony was halfway to reaching Ziva, but dropped his hand to his side, realizing that his boss was still in the room. "See if you can get her to talk, DiNozzo. Take as long as you need," Gibbs said and left the room without another word, closing the door behind him and leaving his two agents alone.

Gibbs pressed his back against the door, lost in his own thoughts now. What was Vance doing? Why was he forcing Ziva to face Eli again? Obviously she wasn't ready to face Eli. Obviously this was slightly overwhelming to her. Gibbs only hoped that whatever was going on between Tony and Ziva was enough to open her up about it so that Tony could give her the comfort she needed. Hopefully they were smart enough to keep this away from the prying eyes of Mossad and Eli David, because Gibbs couldn't handle them meddling again, especially since Ziva was an American citizen now who also happened to be a Federal Agent that worked for him.

Inside the conference room, Tony hesitated a moment, studying Ziva carefully. He had seen this shocked look on her face before, more than once. The first time he saw it was when she found out that he was seeing Jeanne. The second time was when Jenny died. The third time was when they were reassigned. The fourth was when they were leaving without her and she was staying behind in Israel. All of those times had ended in some form of pain and Tony didn't want this to be another time on that list.

He stepped closer to her and put a hand gently on her shoulder and she finally looked up away from the table. Before she allowed her eyes to meet Tony's they swept the room and realized that they were alone for the moment. When her eyes met Tony's he could see a slight amount of panic and fear in them, but some pain and worry as well.

She took one step forward and wrapped her arms around Tony, placing her head on his chest, seeking the comfort that she could only find from his arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her as close to him as he could get her. He wanted to ask so many things, but he couldn't find the words or the right order to his questions. Despite his silence, Ziva started to talk quietly into his chest, trusting him with everything she had.

"He sent me there, Tony," she said quietly. "He sent me to Somalia knowing that it was most-likely a suicide mission. He was sentencing me to death and did not give me the choice. When Malachi was injured on the Damocles I called him, hoping that he would send me some back up. He told me to stick to the mission. I learned that he was hoping to break my American ties by sending me there. It was not a mission that he had planned originally. He wanted me back as his own and only loyal to him by the end of it, if I were to survive and if not, it was to be my punishment for serving the Americans with more loyalty than I had served him."

She sniffed a little and her arms tightened around Tony. Tony instinctively tightened his arms around Ziva. She continued speaking before he could find any questions to ask, knowing that he would have questions.

"I have not spoken with him since my return from Somalia. I do not really wish to see him, but I can handle it. I do not want to talk to him about it. I do not care what he has to say. He does not deserve my love, because he uses it to manipulate me, which was why I was afraid to love you," she continued without prompting and giving Tony more information that he had ever thought was possible to get from his silent ninja who didn't share deep personal things that explained the way she worked. "I love you and I know you would never do that, but I am afraid for the day when he finds out that I love you. He is probably still hoping that I come to regret my decision to become an American citizen. Vance dealt with him when that time came and I gave up my allegiance to Israel. I am sure that I he is angry. But, I cannot hide from this and run from this as I have done with many things in my past. I need to face it so I can continue to move forward. Tony, please, have my back."

"Always, Ziva," Tony said and that was all he could really think to say in that moment. All he could promise her was that he was always going to be there for her, no matter what demons popped up and no matter what her past threw at them, that he would always be there for her. He squeezed her tighter, having no words to express how he felt about her and how permanent this relationship was to him and how truly committed he was to Ziva.

"We cannot let him see this, though," Ziva warned him, finally meeting his eyes as hers filled with fear. "He will find a way to take it away. You remember how he reacted all those years ago when Gibbs was on retirement in Mexico."

"I remember, Zi," Tony said. "He won't see it. I promise. We'll behave."

She smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his lips. Again they found themselves breaking their own rules for how they were behaving at work, but they were, again, behind closed doors and they really couldn't avoid it at that moment.

* * *

A/N – Here we are reminded that Ziva is not fully healed. But, what a difference! She is turning to Tony right away instead of trying to deal with it on her own! We also learned another reason she was so hesitant to give Tony her heart and we see how much they truly care for each other! Review with thoughts, comments, opinions, you know the drill!


	45. Bathroom Talk

Bathroom Talk

Ziva excused herself to the bathroom, completely annoyed with Liat and Malachi at this point. She gave Tony one small glance as she exited the room. He was amazed at her.

Ziva had quickly turned on the cold-Mossad-Assassin face that she had had turned off forever as soon as she knew that Eli David was in town. They had spent every night apart so far and it was wearing on both of them and they both recognized that. They couldn't wait for this case to be done and over with.

Tony soon got up and found his way to the girls' bathroom, knowing that Liat was watching him carefully and so was Malachi. He snuck off, though and managed to not get caught by either one of them. He snuck into the bathroom and carefully closed and locked the door behind him and walked over to Ziva who was resting her hands on the sink with her head hanging down.

He placed both hands on her sides and pulled her into him. Her expression softened immediately and she turned to face him. "This is more difficult than I thought it would be," she said quietly. "I know it's important to hide all this from them, but I'm having a hard time doing that when all I want to do is beat that cocky young Mossad Officer into oblivion."

Tony chuckled. "Don't kill Liat. It's not her fault that she's following in your footsteps," Tony said quietly.

"She could have picked better footsteps to follow in," Ziva admitted as her arms made their way around Tony, finally giving into the irresistible urge to be near him and touching him at all times. "This is difficult."

"I know," he muttered to her, running his fingers through her hair for the first time in several days, realizing that it felt like forever. "I know."

"He manipulated me again," Ziva admitted. "He disappeared, causing me to think he is dead. How can I still love the man after all that he did to me?"

"He's still your father," Tony said quietly. "He's still your father and a part of you will always love him no matter what. Why do you think I support my father every time he comes around asking for money? Some piece of me keeps hoping that he will finally approve of me and love me for who I am and not who he wants me to be."

"I understand the feeling," Ziva said quietly as Tony opened up about his own emotions in the bathroom. "I know it too well. He will never see me as anything other than a Mossad Assassin I am afraid."

"He does see you as a daughter, you know," Tony said quietly. "I can see it in his eyes. It is definitely secondary, but he definitely does see you as a daughter. Have you gotten the chance to talk to him at all?"

"Briefly," Ziva said with a shrug. "No surprises in that conversation. Not so much as an apology for not sending anyone to find me and sending me on a suicide mission. To him it was just another failed mission that someone else cleaned up. I noticed he did thank Gibbs for taking out his target, but never once did he apologize for sending me in alone or thank me for not talking at all."

"He thinks it was part of your job to keep quiet," Tony said.

"As soon as I was in Somalia, in that camp, it was no longer my job in my eyes. As soon as I realized the full gravity of his words, it was no longer my job," Ziva said. "I decided as soon as I got captured that I couldn't do Mossad anymore. It wasn't right for me and it was just too much to try to live up to my father's expectations for me and ever expect to be happy. I am happy now and I'm only staying away from that happiness to keep it in place. I honestly do not know what he would do if he found out that I was dating an Italian-American man who he has yet to express any opinion on. I do not think he would be happy about it."

"I don't know," Tony said. "Wouldn't he want to know you were happy?"

"He would be more concerned with the fact that you were Tony DiNozzo than if I was happy or if you were right for me," Ziva said. "I do happen to know that you annoy him, regardless of what he has said or has not said. I just hope this is over soon so they can leave. I miss you."

"I miss you too," Tony said, quietly pressing his lips to hers and capturing her in a kiss once again.

The two were locked like that for some time and pulled apart, remembering they were at work and left wanting more.

"To be continued as soon as your father is no longer in town," Tony whispered in her ear and kissed her forehead, knowing that she was feeling the need to have Tony, too.

"Absolutely," she promised. "Too bad we are at work and there are four Mossad Officers waiting in the squad room. Otherwise, I do not think I would be able to resist."

"Get your Mossad face back on, sweet cheeks," Tony said quietly. "Because now we have to face those four Mossad Officers."

She chuckled a little at Tony and pressed one more kiss to his lips before recomposing her face into the cold and hard face that she used to carry when she first met Tony. He was gone by the tie she did this, so as not to draw more suspicion to them since they were both missing at the moment. She met him in the squad room and their eyes never quite met, though they normally would have. It was incredible what having Mossad around did to help hide their relationship from everyone.

* * *

A/N – Another chapter revolving around the two episodes "Enemies Foreign" and "Enemies Domestic" from NCIS season 8. Leave a review and let me know what you think!


	46. Tony Gets a Phone Call

Tony Gets a Phone Call

Finally, as if it were a miracle, Eli David and his four Mossad Officers left Washington, DC and returned to Tel Aviv, Israel. It was a great relief to the whole team and Gibbs was looking around at all of them.

"Go home early," he said quietly. "It's been a long few days and we all could use the rest."

Tony looked at Ziva, whose face softened and she nodded a little as her eyes lit up. They would finally be spending some time together again and letting out all of the stress that had built up during their time apart.

They spent that night watching movies, cuddling, and making love, nearly forgetting to eat in their joy of being around one another again. They were now laying in bed, holding tightly to each other and talking.

"My apartment feels so lonely now," Ziva said quietly. "It is like something is missing."

"Mine feels abandoned," Tony said. "My sanctuary is incomplete without you, Zi."

She smiled up at him. She couldn't help but smile. They had certainly come a long way together. His sanctuary was her sanctuary and they weren't entirely whole without one another. It was perfect and it made them both extremely happy to have it back.

"My home is wherever you are," she whispered into him, snuggling a little deeper. "Thank you for that, Tony."

"Your welcome, my ninja," Tony said. "My home is always where you are and always will be."

They fell asleep sometime shortly after, without much else said, just enjoying the presence of one another and feeling the comfort of each other's arms as they had made up for lost time much that night.

It was early in the morning when Tony woke to a buzzing sound. He reached over and looked at the phone that was buzzing. He pulled it to him and read that it was McGee. He sighed and picked it up.

"DiNozzo," Tony said groggily, feeling Ziva stir on his chest a little.

He squeezed his arm around her a little tighter, comforting her for the sound he was making without even realizing what he was doing. He was hoping that whatever McGee was calling for it wouldn't require him to wake her up now that they had some time together, but his hopes were not high if McGee was calling at four in the morning about something.

_"Hi, Tony. You're not Ziva,"_ McGee said into the phone on his end.

_Shit! That's not good!_ Tony thought. How could he have been so stupid? Why hadn't they taken the time to go get different phone cases yet? They should have made that a priority so that they wouldn't get caught like this again and right after they had been so good with Mossad around watching them carefully.

"You're right, McGenius, I am not Ziva," Tony replied, hoping a joke could throw off the Junior Field Agent a little. "I am still Tony."

_"Yea,"_ McGee said awkwardly and cleared his throat into the phone. _"Well, we have a case. Boss wants you here in less than a half hour."_

"That's not very long," Tony said frowning.

McGee had his suspicions despite his coworkers stellar behavior around the presence of Mossad. He figured either something happened between them that they weren't sharing or they were involved in each other in some personal manner. This only proved his suspicions a little. He was sure that there was something that they weren't sharing with the rest of them. But, McGee no longer dared to ask. He didn't want to know, because he knew the rules too well to not realize that if something was going on then they were breaking the rules. Besides all that, McGee didn't want to have to hide something from Gibbs because hiding information from Gibbs was nearly impossible. And, if he was being honest, it was only small changes that had happened in Tony and Ziva and nothing overly large that was obvious, so maybe they were fooling the boss or maybe they weren't together at all. Perhaps they had just gotten closer as friends through their healing time together after Somalia.

_"I'm going to assume that since you answered her phone, Ziva's with you, or was with you. Find a way to wake her up and let her know. You two might want to consider answering your own phones from now on. If this was Gibbs he would have a field day with this,"_ McGee warned Tony cautiously, knowing that this looked like they were breaking the rules even if they weren't.

_"A field day with what, McGee?"_ Tony heard Gibbs ask in the background of the silent room that McGee was currently standing in.

_"The case,"_ McGee answered quickly. _"Get here,"_ McGee added to Tony.

Tony hung up the phone and shook Ziva gently awake and explained to her what was going on and also that he had answered her phone by mistake. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes again. Tony shook her again, realizing that she had missed the first part of what he said. He explained one more time to her what was going on and she sighed heavily before getting up and getting ready for their now longer day.

* * *

A/N – That's the second time that they answered the wrong phone. Hopefully they get that fixed soon. And, McGee's suspicious, but he realizes that there are many possibilities to explain what's going on between Tony and Ziva. He's open-minded, which is good, I think. Although the fact that his first thought was of simply something happening between Tony and Ziva and not that they are involved with each other is a little amusing. Leave a review and let me know what you think.


	47. Christmas

Christmas

It was a little more than a month later and it was nearly Christmas time. Ziva hadn't had time to decorate for Hanukah at her place, but she had managed to ask Tony if she could at least put up a menorah at his place and he had more than willingly agreed to it. She was spending it there and to her surprise he had gone out of his way to learn the traditions of an typical Hanukah in Israel for her. This brought tears to her eyes.

She had spent some quality time with Abby that night and she was just now arriving at Tony's apartment and when she walked in she smiled. There was a Christmas tree in the window next to the piano and there were wreaths and other Christmas decorations as well as some newly purchased Hanukah decorations around the living room of the apartment.

Ziva was just standing in the doorway of the apartment amazed and smiling with one hand over her heart. She had never loved a man nearly as much as she loved Tony and she could feel the love as she walked into this place that felt more like home to her than anyplace else in the world did right then. Now, it looked like home too.

She could smell something cooking in the kitchen. She had not had dinner yet. She had had afternoon plans with Abby. Whatever Tony was cooking smelled delicious and she could not wait to have it. She put her purse down and walked toward the kitchen and found him pulling out some lasagna. She was overly fond of this sight of Tony and smiled at it.

Finally, he noticed her standing there and he smiled at her, seeing that she was happy about what she was seeing. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Dinner is ready," Tony said. "It was my mother's recipe, so I can't take all the credit."

"You hardly ever speak of your mother," Ziva said with a smile on her face. "I am sure I will love it; by the way, I like this cheery decorating you have done."

Tony pressed a kiss to her lips and held her close to him. When they pulled apart, Tony went to get the dinner and brought it to the dining room, which he had never used before, but was using tonight along with his mother's good dishes that he had never touched before either.

Ziva complimented him and the dishes and everything. They took care of the clean up work together.

"So, since we're not with the rest of them, I thought it was inappropriate to watch the same movie as always. I say we watch a Christmas Carole," Tony said.

"The one by Charles Dickenson?" Ziva asked.

"The same, but in movie form," Tony replied.

"That sounds perfect," Ziva told Tony with a wide smile on her face.

Tony started to move off to get the movie, but Ziva caught his arm and spun him around. She pulled him right into her and their lips met somewhere in the middle. She held him tight in her arms and continued the kiss to the point where they were both nearly out of breath.

"I guess the movie can wait," he whispered to her, sensing the mood she was in.

"We will have plenty of time to watch it," Ziva reassured him. "I would not have had my first Christmas go any other way, Tony."

He smiled and pulled her back to him and lifted her right off her feet, bridal style, without breaking the kiss. He made his way toward the bedroom with her in his arms and gently set her down on the bed, as though she were made out of porcelain and was something that might break.

Tony could not have been luckier to have Ziva in his life, but she felt the same. She never imagined that she could be this happy with anyone in her life, but then she had never trusted any man the way that she trusted Tony. They were totally lost in each other for the remainder of the evening and late into the night, until they finally fell asleep in each others arms, right where they knew they belonged. It was truly the best Christmas or Hanukah that either one of them had ever had.

* * *

A/N - I know this one is a little short. I was originally not going to include it at all, but I thought we needed some more fluff, because fluff is amazing! Review and let me know what you think!


	48. New Year's

New Year's

"I can't believe we're stuck here on New Year's because of a stupid serial killer! Can't they take holidays too!" Abby complained from the squad room having no more evidence to go through as Tony glanced down at the clock and saw that it was ten o'clock.

There was still two hours until the ball dropped and it was officially the New Year. This wasn't as important to him as it had been in the past, because in the past he had promised himself every year that the following year he would be spending it with the girl of his dreams (or in earlier years he would try to find whoever that was). This year he had her and he was still spending it with her, regardless of where he was (whether it was work or home) and that was all that mattered to him.

Tony and Ziva were definitely not taking this for granted. They had each other no matter where they were and knew that they had each other's backs wherever they were and that was the best part of it, though there were sometimes downsides to working with the person that your heart belonged to.

There was that moment in the middle of the week where Tony thought his heart completely stopped when he walked into the room to find someone pointing a gun straight at Ziva's heart while she stood motionless and staring at the person. That was a difficult time for them, but he had gone quietly and managed to take out the suspect following Ziva's eyes for any sign that the person had heard him or was going to shoot her, which was definitely a good thing to have.

Tony was working very hard, because even though he was with Ziva at work for New Year's, he would rather be at home enjoying himself a little more. She was also working very hard. But, they were not complaining the way that Abby and McGee were, because they knew that whether it was work or home, they would be together and they were going to be happy about it. This was where Gibbs rules came in handy; not taking anything for granted and not wasting good.

"Abby, we have work to do," Gibbs reminded her. "If there are criminals involving the Navy or Marines, then someone's got to catch them so their families can rest easier, no matter what the day of year."

Tony looked up. This was a lot coming from Gibbs, but he must have been tired of hearing her and McGee complain that they were spending New Year's at work. Tony knew he was tired of hearing it and Ziva was also tired of hearing it, judging by her expression every time Abby brought it up.

"Gibbs is right, Abby," Ziva said, still typing on her computer. "Besides, we have each other and we are a family."

Everyone's eyes landed on Ziva, who was still working on her computer. She didn't look at any of them and there were two among them that were smirking about this. Gibbs was smirking and chuckling to himself, finally seeing some of the changes in Ziva that were caused by whatever her and Tony had going. Tony was smiling because he knew it was the truth and it also meant that Ziva had just opened up a tiny bit for the others (hardly a fraction of what she had done for him).

"She's right," Gibbs said. "Besides, we'll spend it together in MTAC watching the ball drop. You'll all get your New Year's still. But, you've got to work now, we've still got just about two hours."

They worked silently for two hours, including Abby who had no idea about the rest of the investigative process. She worked with her evidence and with their evidence and helped the team to find a suspect. It was five minutes before midnight when they finally had a break in the case and had someone that they could go find in the morning.

They all filed into MTAC. Tony and Ziva took seats near the back and McGee was down front with Abby, but separated by several chairs. Gibbs was in the middle. McGee pulled up the video of the large ball over New York City. In the back Tony took Ziva's hand and looked into her eyes until the countdown started. Yes, they had wanted to do this at home, but they could adjust and make it work at the office, even if it was breaking their own rules, again.

Their eyes met the screen when the countdown began and they watched it changed to a New Year. They met each other in the middle in a kiss, that the others could not see. They were not reckless with the kiss, since Gibbs, McGee, and Abby were below them and bound to look up at some point. They pulled quickly apart and looked each other in the eyes, silently telling the other that they loved each other.

After a short moment, they heard the others getting up and they glanced around them. They were all leaving, without even looking up in their direction. Except Gibbs, who noticed how obviously close his two agents were to each other. He smirked and spoke up to them.

"Go home, you two. There's nothing more we can do until morning," Gibbs said. "McGee's already put out a BOLO on the guy."

They nodded and watched Gibbs leave, before locking each other in a far more passionate kiss before they went home, celebrating their New Year in their own way with their strange family somewhere nearby.

* * *

A/N – More fluff, because fluff is as important to a story as the serious stuff. We also see some of their realizations as things are not going exactly as they planned. They're right, of course, as long as they're together it doesn't matter where they are, everything is great. Leave a review!


	49. Jealousy (Part 2)

Jealousy (Part 2)

Three more fantastic months they spent working and being with each other. It was not getting old at all. They were both happier than they could ever remember being and they were pleased with everything that was going on with them and that they were finally settling into something that kept their relationship out of the office without drawing suspicion to themselves.

Today, there was a new girl in the office and she was sitting directly behind Gibbs on the other side of the divider. She was trying hard to move her desk. Tony's eyes were narrowed on her and Ziva was staring, worrying a little that this girl had something wrong with her that she was trying to move a desk. Out of the way.

She finally gave up and met Tony's eyes. Ziva followed her gaze and knew what that look meant. Ziva was instantly filled with jealousy, even though Tony's eyes were still narrowed on her.

"Hi, I'm Special Agent Barrett," she said quietly, walking up to the divider and clearly only looking at Tony.

"Special Agent DiNozzo," he said quietly, without his normal flirting that he would have put on a year or so ago.

Ziva almost instantly missed him introducing himself as "Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo" but she appreciated the fact that he was not that man to flirt with every female anymore.

"Is this skylight always so annoying?" she asked, with a smile for him.

"You get used to it," Ziva said quietly, still looking at the woman who was trying hard to flirt with her man.

"Hi. I'm Special Agent Barrett. Didn't see you there," she said reaching a hand out and not smiling at all at the woman that was standing in front of her.

"Special Agent David, former Mossad," Ziva said with a small smile playing at her face.

Tony was having all he could do not to laugh as Ziva made sure that this girl was fully aware of who she was and what she was capable of.

"Mossad? Really? What was your job with Mossad, if you don't mind my asking?" the new girl asked curiously, absolutely intrigued by this and smiling at her thinking it was nice that she was Mossad once.

"I was an assassin," Ziva said, her smile growing. "One of the elite."

The girl instantly swallowed and her smile faded. Her eyes returned to Tony. She smiled again.

"I'm fairly new to the area, Agent DiNozzo, would you mind getting some drinks with me this evening and showing me around the area?" she asked.

"I mind," he said quietly, but still loud enough for her to hear. "I'm busy tonight."

"Oh," she said with a disappointed face. "Some other night then."

"Against the rules to date a coworker, new girl," Gibbs voice said as he came around the corner, seeing the jealousy written all over Ziva's face and the anger written all over Tony's.

"It is not against NCIS policy," the girl corrected. "And I have a name. I am Special Agent EJ Barrett from the Rota office. I'll be working with your team if I'm correct in assuming you are Special Agent Gibbs."

"Never assume," Gibbs said. "That's one of the rules, too."

Ziva smirked and turned to Tony as Gibbs walked away. Tony looked at her and smiled. He had an idea. "So, take-out and movie night again?" he asked.

"I thought you were busy tonight?" EJ asked from behind the divider, obviously still listening in.

"I would like that, Tony," Ziva said with a smile and her back turned toward the new agent. "It has been a while since we have had a movie night."

In all truth they had watched a movie (or at least a piece of a movie) every single night. But, it had been a long time since they had referred to these as movie nights and neither one felt like they were lying that way, since it was almost the truth. Ziva glanced back quickly to notice that there was now jealousy on the other woman's face and she faced Tony and smirked.

"Oh, I love movies," EJ tried. "I've watched all kinds of movies. I have a ton of them on their way here now."

"That's great," Tony said almost maliciously. "Come on, Ziva. We've got work to do on this case."

* * *

A/N – So, here we have the second part of our jealousy. Personally, I like the way Ziva handled her jealousy, but I can also see where she was stepping back and allowing Tony to take care of EJ as well.

I have to thank all of you for your follows and reviews! Over a hundred reviews! I can't believe it! Amazing!

Leave a review and let me know what you think.


	50. Jealousy (Part 3)

Jealousy (Part 3)

It was now the end of the work day and Tony and Ziva were picking up to go home and McGee had just left. Ziva finally turned off her computer and looked up in time to see EJ finish making the walk over to Tony's desk. She had done this every single day to try to get Tony's attention. She definitely would have won if it was the other Tony DiNozzo, the one that Ziva had first met, who would take any pretty girl he laid his eyes on.

Instead he was looking at Ziva with apology in his eyes as though this was somehow his fault that EJ was bothering him. Ziva walked up to EJ and stood next to her, looking straight at her and wondering what she could possibly be thinking of saying right now.

EJ's eyes caught Ziva and she jumped. EJ had never seen Ziva's ninja side nor had she ever been successfully snuck upon before. She clutched at her heart and was breathing a little heavy.

"You startled me, Ziva," she said to her, finally catching her breath again.

"Oops," Ziva said with a smirk.

"I told you, former Mossad Assassin," Tony said, without his eyes ever meeting EJ and instead admiring Ziva. "She's like a ninja. She could kill you so many different ways that its scary to even think about. And, she could kill you with office supplies if she really wants to. It's extremely beneficial having her as a partner."

"I bet," EJ said, rattled at the way that Tony was admiring Ziva right now and how his eyes worshiped her.

There was jealousy written all over EJ's face that Ziva was taking in carefully. She was used to being the center of attention and the girl that everyone wanted. Part of this was just a game to her, to see how long it would take her to catch Tony's attention, since it was obviously focused differently than other guys were. Ziva didn't like this, but did enjoy seeing this woman jealous that Tony found her more attractive than EJ.

"Are you ready for drinks, Tony?" Ziva asked, throwing an idea out there that they hadn't used on EJ yet.

"You go out with your team often?" EJ asked. "I never took my team out. And, my team never took me out."

Now her voice was filled with a different kind of jealousy as though she really wished her team could be Gibbs' team instead of like it was. Though, her team had yet to arrive.

"We do. We are a tight-knit group of people," Tony replied. "Come on, Ziva."

Tony grabbed his backpack and walked out with Ziva, walking her to her car before going back to his own. They followed each other back to Tony's place and met at the front door just as Tony was unlocking it.

"She annoys me," Tony said quietly.

"You and me both," Ziva agreed. "I mean… what is someone from Rota, Spain doing in DC?"

"I was offered Rota once," Tony said.

"Why didn't you take it?" Ziva asked curiously, her eyes narrowing. "And, when were you offered Rota?"

"Jenny offered me Rota before the assignment with Jeanne," Tony said quietly. "She thought I should have my own team. I pulled a bunch of BS excuses out for her to hear. In reality, I didn't want to leave my family. It's not everyday that you find a team that is this effective and this well coordinated, no matter how dysfunctional we are on our own as people."

Ziva looked at him. "There's more to it than that," Ziva said, seeing the look in his eyes.

"I wasn't ready to give up on you," Tony admitted quietly.

She smiled softly. "In the past, I would have been angry that you turned down a promotion for me, Tony. But, things have changed," Ziva said quietly and thoughtfully. "I am happy that you risked your job, once again, for me. It was horribly stupid and entirely misguided, but I love you more for it, because you wouldn't be who you are if you hadn't done it that way."

He smiled at her now and pulled her close to him. This was the best part of their whole day, getting to be close to one another. It had been three weeks since EJ had arrived and they were both unhappy with her, but they were spending nearly every night together anyway.

"When does your lease run out on your apartment?" Tony asked quiet suddenly, glancing down at Ziva.

"End of this month," Ziva said, not having thought about how little time she spent there.

Tony reached in his pocket and pulled out a key. He held it up in front of her. "If you want to?" he asked her without actually asking her.

"Tony!" she nearly shouted a smile appearing on her face and her eyes lighting up so much that Tony thought they had to be shining through him. "Are you serious?"

"Would you move in with me?" Tony asked quietly, his face turning pink as he asked the question.

"Absolutely!" she nearly shouted at him and threw herself into a kiss as his arms tightened happily around her.

* * *

A/N – Wow! Fifty chapters of this story! I can't believe it! And you all have been wonderful with the reviews, follows and favorites! Thank you all so much! I don't think I would have made it this far without all of you! Leave a review on this one and let me know what you think of it!


	51. Moving In

Moving In

Over the course of the next week, Tony and Ziva worked tirelessly outside of work to get all of Ziva's things either to storage or to his apartment. They proved to be a good team outside of work, too. They worked together in the same room in case there were questions on an item. Tony knew where she would want certain things. Then there were questions about the furniture the "mine or yours" questions. They finally finished the middle of the following Saturday, a little more than a week after starting and felt extremely lucky that they hadn't been called in.

They had one final thing to take care of. Ziva was currently waiting for her landlord to look over the place. He had just arrived and was doing that now. She and Tony were standing nervously together. They both knew how big of a step this was in their relationship and they were both very happy about it. But, they also knew that this big step could either make them or break them and they were nervous.

The landlord came over. "Everything seems in order. Here is your security deposit back, Miss David," he said kindly. "And, I'll just need the keys."

She reached out and handed him the keys off her keychain and turned to Tony, who was smiling at her. Somehow, after the keys were turned in their nerves seemed to disappear. They rode back to their place together, holding hands and totally lost in their thoughts as they made their way there.

They immediately began going through the boxes that were stacked in the living room and putting things in their rightful places. At lunchtime they stood up, looking at each other, silently agreeing to take that break together.

"Tony, I'm not ready yet, but we do have to tell them sometime soon," Ziva said. "There are rules about the address and I do not want my mail going to that old place for long."

"And I would rather tell them than have them find out some other way," Tony said quietly. "But you're right, not yet."

It took them the rest of the afternoon to sort through their boxes and then they ordered some pizza for dinner. They were both so happy that they got totally lost in each other's eyes as they ate. When the food was gone they moved at the same time and met in the middle. Their lips locked. Their hands wandered. Their bodies burned with desire. They needed each other and that was it.

The rest of their weekend was spent in the bedroom, wrapped entirely around each other and expressing their feelings toward each other, not really taking the time to enjoy the rest of the apartment that was now both of theirs. It was Tony's sanctuary redone; his new sanctuary that included Ziva and all of her things. That thought alone made both of them happy. This was now Ziva's sanctuary too; the place where she felt like she was home and at peace with everything.

Monday morning, of course, came too soon for either of them. They didn't have a case and they were lost in their own thoughts of what had happened over that weekend. By the end of the day they were totally lost in each other's eyes. They were staring deeply at each other, both with contented looks on their faces.

They only stared for about ten minutes, though it felt to both of them like no time had passed. Tony was aware that Gibbs was watching them and Ziva was aware that Vance was watching them. They didn't indicate this information to the other as they stared. What they were unaware of was that Abby, McGee, and Ducky were also watching them as they gazed into each others eyes. Also, their names had been called at least three times already, each by varying people among those five.

"DiNozzo! David!" Gibbs shouted for the final time at his loudest volume, stepping in between his two agents.

Both agents jumped and stared at Gibbs, coming back into reality with that rude awakening from their thoughts of their weekend together. Gibbs looked at each of them, sighed and walked back over to his desk. He was suppressing a smirk and shaking his head as he sat back down. He ran his hands through his silver hair and then looked at them again.

"I was going to tell you all to go home for the day, but I'm sure you two aren't actually done with what I asked of you. Something you would like to share with the class?" Gibbs asked, glancing back and forth between Tony and Ziva.

"What?" Ziva asked, her expression turning confused. "We are not in a class. Are we?"

"It's an expression, Ziva," Tony corrected automatically. "Sorry, boss. I was just thinking."

"About Ziva? About work? About the clock on the wall over there? About the orange wallpaper on the opposite wall? About the other agents in the building? About that hot blonde that sits behind us? What exactly were you thinking about, DiNozzo?"

"A movie, actually," Tony said quietly, trying hard to cover his own tracks, and realizing that he had definitely said the wrong thing right then. "I was thinking about Star Wars, when Yoda dies and it's just really sad, but very promising all at the same time."

Gibbs stared at him for another moment and sighed. Tony was putting up his defense mechanisms again, which meant that he didn't want to share what was on his mind. Gibbs shook his head slightly and said, "Go home. All of you."

* * *

A/N – Getting lost in each other's eyes. I love it when they do this, because you always wonder what they are feeling on the show. Now, we get to see, in this case, what they are feeling and thinking about. Leave a review!


	52. Fearing Something

Fearing Something

Ziva spent the next week not feeling quite like herself. She was nauseous most of the week and over the weekend she dared to look at the calendar. She turned to Tony quite suddenly and her mouth was hanging open and she remembered the words that her doctor had said to her upon her return from Somalia.

**_"Your chances of having a family are small, Ziva. But, if you do manage to get pregnant, you can expect complications. I would recommend waiting some time and healing first. The longer you wait, the lower the chances of miscarriage are and the higher the chance of you getting pregnant."_**

The words rang through her mind now. Tony hadn't even noticed the surprised expression on Ziva's face. She nearly sprinted toward the bathroom and that was when he noticed that something was off. She pulled out a small package of pills and looked at them. She was nearly done with the week of inactive sugar pills. She dropped the package on the floor and leaned on the sink for support. She didn't notice that Tony was staring at her in the doorway, because her head was dropped as she tried to process what she was going through at the moment and not knowing for sure was killing her. She needed to know. But, she was so afraid of that answer. They certainly weren't ready for this.

"Zi?" Tony asked, stepping into the room.

When Ziva finally looked up, her expression was wild, confused, and afraid. Tony jumped a little because he hadn't seen this expression out of her in a very long time and he was wondering what was going through her mind now. A tear spilled unexpectedly from her eyes as Tony stood there, unsure of how to react to this setback that she was having. He had no idea what was going on.

Ziva walked over to him and right into his chest. His arms went instinctively around her and she lost control; the tears spilled from her eyes and onto his shirt. She wasn't sure if they were happy tears or not, but she was definitely afraid as she remembered what the doctor said to her so long ago.

Tony could see what was on the floor. Those were her birth control pills. He could see that the pack was nearly empty. He knew that the only thing that could cause this type of reaction was something she wasn't expecting. His arms tightened around her as he understood the meaning of this and also began to understand why she wasn't feeling well that week. He took in a sharp intake of breath, realizing where her fears might be coming from.

"What did the doctors say when you came home?" he asked.

She continued to sob silently into his chest and he could nearly feel her pain in each sob that wracked through her body against his own. He tightened his grip a little more on her, realizing that it probably wasn't anything good.

"Ziva," he said gingerly. "Come on…. Please, talk to me."

"I might… I might have a… I might…," she couldn't say it. She squeezed him tighter.

"You might have a miscarriage," he finished in no more than a whisper, understanding her words and her fears. How could they have everything and be so terrified at the same time? How could they have everything and nothing at all? It didn't make sense to him, and yet they were going through this.

Ziva pulled back from Tony and looked into his eyes. "Tony, we're not ready for this," she whispered fearfully. "We're not ready to deal with the what ifs and the are we readies."

"We're going to have to be ready, Zi," Tony said quietly, stroking her cheek. "We're going to have to be ready, because obviously its happening whether we're ready for it or not. We can get through anything together."

She nodded slowly to him. He was right of course. They could do anything together. It wasn't as though they were careless. It was just one of those things. She knew now she was pregnant and she was sure of it. But, what if…?

"Tony, what if… what if I can't… what if my body can't do it?" Ziva asked, quivering a little in his arms as she voiced her concerns.

"Then we'll deal with that if it happens," Tony said quietly to her, holding her tightly. "We can do anything together."

"But, I might never be able to… to have children, Tony," Ziva said quietly.

Tony stroked her hair out of her face and looked deep into her eyes. She was concerned. She was very concerned. She was also terrified of how Tony would respond to that. He pressed a soft kiss to the crease in between her eyebrows that always appeared when she worried.

"I love you as you are, Zi," Tony said quietly. "I will always love you, just the way you are. If we can't, then we can't and that's fine. We'll leap that hurdle when we get to it. For now, let's just deal with the present. The present tells me this is a possibility and we have to deal with what is happening right now."

Ziva's tears began to flow again and she pressed her forehead into his chest, her heart aching with the love she felt for this man. He wasn't turning her away at the truth. Instead, he was embracing her and comforting her being fully aware of the truth.

"I suspected we might run into this someday, Zi," Tony said. "I may not know what happened to you over there… not exactly anyway… but, I'm not stupid."

"I know," she said quietly and knew that they would deal with this one day at a time and that was it. "I know. I love you."

And she really did love him, more than a few words could possibly ever express.

* * *

A/N – Uh-oh! Ziva break down!" but, Tony to the rescue! He's got her back no matter what happens! Review and let me know what you think.


	53. Late Again!

Late Again…

Wednesday morning they were running late for work, but not very late. It had been a long time since they had been late, so they were sure it wouldn't be a problem and if they hurried along, they would make it on time, barely and as long as they both drove like Ziva in a hurry.

As Ziva stood, waiting impatiently for the coffee to finish, she felt something that she didn't like. She tried hard to ignore it, a look of concern crossing her face. There was another twinge of pain that caused her to grab at her stomach.

"Tony!" she yelled, as the pain increased and she curled in a ball and tears filled her eyes.

She was sure she knew what was happening and it was the most difficult thing in the world to deal with at that moment.

Tony came rushing in, seeing Ziva curled in a ball and holding her stomach. He could also see small blood droplets on the floor and he ran to her and held her in his arms, knowing there was nothing more he could do to make it right. There were tears filling his eyes too.

"I'm calling the doctor," he said quietly, pulling out his phone.

He found the contact that he had also added to his phone. It rang for a while and the secretary picked up.

_"Hello, could you please hold?"_ she asked.

"No, I can't hold," Tony said frantically. "I think my girlfriend is having a miscarriage."

_"Let me transfer you to her doctor. I need her name and her doctor's name,"_ she asked.

"Dr. Cara Johnson is her doctor and my girlfriend is Ziva David," Tony said into the phone.

_"Okay, just a moment,"_ the secretary said.

Ziva was crying now. Tony pulled her head tighter into his chest, trying hard to hold in his own tears as he held Ziva and tried to offer her some comfort.

_"This is Dr. Johnson. I need your name, sir,"_ she said.

"I'm Tony DiNozzo. My girlfriend, Ziva David, called you over the weekend about a pregnancy," he said into the phone, remaining calm for the moment. "I think she's having a miscarriage."

_"What are the symptoms?"_ the doctor asked.

"She has severe abdominal pain and bleeding. Ziva is that it?" She nodded her head. "That's it."

_"That would be a miscarriage. I want to see her tomorrow morning at nine. You should come with her," _the doctor said quietly and sadly.

"Okay, see you tomorrow. Is there nothing she can do to stop it?" Tony asked, now sounding pained.

_"No, I'm sorry,"_ the doctor said also sounding sad.

He hung up the phone and held Ziva tightly in his arms and she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into his chest and looking for every ounce of comfort she could get from him. He was truly incredible, going through all this for her. They sat there for a long time, completely forgetting about work for a while. Yet, neither of their phones rang. Sometime around nine, Ziva got up to go to the bathroom and Tony picked up his phone as he began cleaning the kitchen floor and pouring both of them coffees.

He sent a text message to Gibbs. There was nothing he could really give as an excuse this morning, because he didn't think lying was good today. He knew that somehow Gibbs would understand that he shouldn't ask for an excuse. He knew this because for some reason Gibbs had not been bothering them all morning.

**Running late. Sorry, boss.**

He grabbed Ziva's phone next and sent a nearly identical text message to him and closed her phone. Then, he leaned on the counter and allowed his head to hang. His phone buzzed and he ignored it for a moment as he knew Ziva was right there. She put her hands on his back. Her eyes were still filled with tears and she saw the kind of pain he was in.

"You don't have to go through this for me, if you don't want to," she said, trying to sound brave.

"I would go through hell and back again for you," he whispered quietly and pulled her into a hug. "You deserve so much better than this."

She nodded into him and handed him his phone, which she had heard buzzing. "You text Gibbs?"

"So did you, just I sent it," he said quietly.

"Thank you," she whispered and took his hand and led him out of the apartment, leading them both to her car.

**Hope everything's alright. See you when you come in.**

That was all he sent. He was satisfied that Gibbs hadn't asked more questions. He was pleased that Gibbs somehow got the message that this was some rare occurrence that wasn't going to be happening everyday. He sighed heavily and composed his face as Ziva parked the car in the parking lot of NCIS.

* * *

A/N – very sad chapter. But, as always those two have each other's back and apparently so does Gibbs, just knowing when to not ask questions.


	54. Doctor's Appointment

Doctor's Appointment

They walked into the squad room with nearly vacant expressions on their faces. Gibbs was staring at them, but they didn't even seem to notice. He didn't dare ask what happened, because he could see that whatever it was it was devastating to both the agents. They hadn't even told him that they were in a relationship together yet and something was very wrong at the moment. He wished that they felt safe enough to turn to him.

Gibbs studied Tony first as he sat down and started to fiddle with the picture that he always kept on his desk of Ziva in Paris. Then he stared at the blank computer screen. His eyes were puffy and red, as though he had been crying and Gibbs also noticed that a few times his eyes looked as though they were filling with tears and he kept shooting Ziva concerned glances.

Ziva was also very quiet that day. She walked in with red and puffy eyes as well and was staring at her Israeli flag (or more like glaring at it, as though it was at fault for whatever happened). She would shoot Tony concerned looks as well and looks of love, but sorrow. Gibbs shook his head.

There was definitely something that happened this morning and he was having a hard time thinking of what could devastate both of them and worry both of them at the same time. They obviously hadn't broken up (if they were really together) if they were sharing worried looks. But they were both hurting. Had they had a fight? Had something else happened? Had someone died and he hadn't heard about it?

Gibbs was usually much better than this at reading his agents, but he just couldn't put his finger on what he was missing in these two. Yet they sat there. His computer dinged and he was silently glad that they didn't have a case today, because these two were obviously in no condition to work. It was an email from Tony.

**Got a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning at nine. It's important. Can't miss it. Can't reschedule. Got to go to it. Tony.**

Gibbs wondered if perhaps there was something wrong with his health or her health, because a moment later he got another email, only this one was from Ziva.

**Sorry I was late this morning. I want to let you know ahead, I will be late again tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment to go to that I cannot miss. It is very important to go to. Ziva.**

They said basically the same things. Gibbs sighed. What was going on with them? Were they going to the same appointment? Were they going to different appointments? Were they doing something that had nothing to do with a doctor? Was one of them sick? Was it counseling of some kind or something different? What kind of doctor were they seeing tomorrow in the morning when they were supposed to be working? What kind of appointment were they both going to that was so important that they couldn't miss it no matter what?

All of the questions circled in Gibbs' head, but he didn't dare to ask them. He just replied to them with a small okay, knowing that whatever was going on, they weren't ready to share it with anyone. If their relationship was any evidence on how long it took those two to open up, then he wouldn't ever know what was going on with his agents.

So, the following morning, he ignored questions from McGee and Abby and worried about Tony and Ziva quietly, still glad that they didn't have a case at the time. He noticed that it was the second day in a row that they showed up in one car, solving one of the riddles. Wherever they had gone, they had done so together and they both looked a little better this morning than they had yesterday.

They were still as silent as ever, but they looked like whatever they were going through, they were dealing with it a little better and it wasn't showing as much on their faces. McGee tried to ask them where they had been the past two mornings, but neither one of them so much as looked at him, forget answering him. Gibbs decided to keep a close eye on these two from then on, because he hadn't seen whatever this was coming and he thought that perhaps he should have. Perhaps there was some clues in the past that could help him figure this out. Although, judging by the looks on their faces, he didn't really want to figure it out. He sighed again.

Tony looked at Ziva and their eyes met for the first time in a couple of days. It was lunch time and he tilted his head toward the window. She nodded.

"Going to lunch, boss," Tony said quietly and that was the first thing the man had said in two days.

"Me too," Ziva said, also speaking for the first time in two days.

Once they were outside, Ziva walked into Tony's arms and wrapped her own around him. "We will be okay," she whispered to him. "We can do anything as long as we do it together."

He nodded in agreement. Those were the same words he had said to her the previous weekend, knowing that this was a possibility. But, knowing it was a possibility and going through it were two totally different animals and he was glad that he wasn't going through it alone, just as he was seeing that Ziva was glad that she wasn't going through it alone. He loved their silent communication more than anything right now, because they could say so much with so few words.

* * *

A/N – another sad chapter. I had to put up two, because they definitely go together. Review and tell me your thoughts.


	55. Getting Closer

Getting Closer

Their weekend was spent inside Tony's apartment, cuddled up on the couch, watching movies of all kinds. There were happy movies, sad movies, scary movies and heart-touching movies all the same. They just watched movie after movie until they couldn't sit still any longer. Tony held Ziva the whole time and Ziva got a new appreciation for why Tony could get so lost in a movie and forget about reality; it was what she used to use books for, except that this time she had no patience for the written words.

On Sunday they went for a picnic outside of DC, just to get away from everything and Ziva really appreciated what Tony was doing for her. She didn't know how to tell him, but it was definitely helping her heal and move forward. She felt almost normal, even though she was still upset over what happened.

"Thank you, Tony," she said toward the end of their picnic, when the food was almost gone.

"For what?" he asked, looking at her curiously.

"For being you, I guess," she said with a half a smile. "I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you."

He moved closer to her and held her shoulders, making sure he was looking in her eyes. "I couldn't have done it without you either," he said honestly. "I mean it, Ziva."

She smiled at him and it was the first genuine smile that he had seen in more than a week and he was happy that it was there again. He pulled her into a kiss and kissed her with everything they had. They had definitely been there for each other and for Tony, Ziva simply allowing him to be there with her and help her through this was enough for him. That was all he needed to be able to get through this difficult time.

When they finally finished eating they went for a walk around and held onto each other as though there was no tomorrow. Ziva nearly caught herself laughing at herself. She had never been one for public displays of affection of any kind before and here she was, clinging to Tony as though she were a teenager in love. She finally understood how people showed so much emotion in public. She realized that she hadn't understood before because she had never allowed herself to fall so deeply in love before and she had certainly never allowed anyone to know what she was feeling before. But, with Tony, that was different. She was safe no matter what and she could see that he was true to his words.

Tony caught her smiling as they walked and he was really hoping that she was already beginning to heal from all this mess. She really needed to heal and that was all. She needed the chance to be happy and in love. She also wanted a family and Tony could see that about her, when she had been so devastated by the miscarriage. But, Tony had surprised himself a little.

Tony had never given much thought on having a family before. The only person he could imagine having a family with was Ziva. He hadn't realized how much he wanted this until it was dangled in front of him and abruptly taken away. He was determined to one day give her the family that she wanted so badly.

Tony also realized that he was definitely more than committed to Ziva. He was a part of Ziva and Ziva was a part of him. He really couldn't live without her. He was beginning to understand his problems with commitment before his relationship with Ziva. He had just never found her. Now she was his and he was hers and he wanted it to stay that way forever and ever.

Finally, the sun began to sink in the sky and they stopped to watch the sunset and then headed silently back toward the car and drove back to Tony's apartment. They watched another movie and then headed off to bed.

In the morning when they returned to work, Gibbs was curious as to what a weekend free from calls had done for these two. They looked a lot happier and more rested than they had on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of last week. He could see, also that they were closer together than ever before. He was really getting very curious as to what happened between them last week that had caused so much silent devastation. But, whatever it was, it was bringing them closer together.

They also had a case, in which he paired them together and watched them closely, to see if there was any effect on their work. All he saw was a positive effect, which, as their boss, he needed to see no matter what was happening outside of their work. He was glad that whatever it was, they were working through it and working it out. Although, he really wished that he had never told them about rule twelve, because he knew that was what was holding them back from talking to him about whatever was going on.

He silently scolded himself and continued to watch. He wanted them to be happy and he wanted them to succeed, both inside and outside of work, no matter what their endeavors were. They were a close-knit group of people and he wanted to keep it that way, which meant that whatever those two were to each other had to come out sooner or later, though they were getting much better at hiding it while they were at work.

Gibbs also silently wondered if any of the others were noticing the changes that Tony and Ziva were going through. He looked around him, since everyone was in the squad room at that moment. Ducky was watching them carefully, but the others were immersed in their own worlds. McGee would glance occasionally at Tony with a curious look on his face and Abby would occasionally glance at Ziva with a curious look, but neither seemed to be putting together that whatever was happening with one was also happening with the other.

* * *

A/N – I know this seems kind of like a filler chapter, but their journey of growing closer together is important and it's not something we saw too much in the original story of this. Review and let me know what you think!


	56. Franks

Franks

Three weeks. That was all it had been since that fateful day where they were both so broken that they didn't know what to do with themselves. It was only three weeks. It had been a long, hard three weeks. And everything had changed about them, or so it seemed to them and those who watched closest.

During those three weeks Tony and Ziva had somehow, miraculously healed. They were, on the outside, back to themselves. But, on the inside they were completely different. They depended on each other more and they needed each other through big things and small things. This change was good for them in so many ways.

But, they worked hard to not show what they were feeling at work. Whenever they were at work, they were trying to keep their distance from each other and keep a friendly appearance up. So far, it was working fairly well, but they both knew the two who saw past this, though they chose not to say anything yet, because they knew what could happen if word got out. They knew that it wasn't just working with each other that was at risk.

They were on the same team. They were working dangerous cases together. Other people's lives were depending on them. If there was any suspicion from Vance they didn't know, but they were sure he wouldn't like it. What if one of them was in danger and they chose wrong because of what they felt and needed? They shied away from that question, because they both knew, in the end, which decision they would make, because they needed each other so deeply and desperately that it hurt in such a good way.

Now, three weeks later, as a happier Tony and Ziva, something else got to them. Something else happened to rip that happiness away from them for a moment. It was unexpected and tragic.

Ziva stood in front of the table in autopsy for quite some time. She didn't open the bag. She just stood there, knowing that Gibbs would probably be down soon to do the same thing. She wondered why no one else had come down yet. She wondered why no one else had come to see him; the man who had risked his life to get a shot at the Port to Port Killer that they were all looking for, throughout every agency.

The door to autopsy slid open behind her and she could feel his presence. It was calming and relaxing beyond anything she had ever felt before and she felt like she could finally breathe again, like she was finally free from everything that was constricting her insides as she stood there. She didn't need to look to see who it was. She just knew. She would know him anywhere, in any situation.

He walked up to her and put a soft and comforting hand on her shoulder and she relaxed under his touch, finally feeling the tears pooling in her eyes as she stared at the black bag that gave nothing away. She took a hesitant step forward, and he stayed with her, knowing how much she needed him to do this properly.

She unzipped the bag and looked at his face. Mike Franks was dead. He was gone forever. He was really dead. He had tried to catch the guy who was killing too many people throughout the world. A silent sob wracked her body. He was a part of the family. He was one of them. He was a former NCIS agent and he had been around long enough for her to open a place in her heart for him. Yet, he was dead and gone.

She allowed her tears to fall, finally. She let go of the tears and Tony pulled her into his arms, also allowing his own tears to form in his eyes. Some of those tears were for the loss of a family member and a good friend and other tears were for the pain Ziva was experiencing. After all, they both remembered the whispered conversation they had with Franks earlier that day.

**_"I know," he said quietly. "I know and so does Gibbs. But, he doesn't have the balls to say anything to you until you tell him. Well, I'm not Gibbs and it's about god damn time that you found each other. Good for you, kids!"_**

The rest of the conversation didn't matter. All that mattered was that he knew and he was on their side. The support that he had offered was more than they were willing to have and apparently more than they should have.

The door to autopsy slid open again and Gibbs walked in. Tony looked at him, holding onto Ziva. His grip tightened. He wasn't letting her go right then. He wasn't letting her go no matter what. It didn't matter who walked into autopsy.

Gibbs nodded to Tony silently and Tony nodded back, still holding onto Ziva, who didn't care who was in autopsy. She was on the only place that was safe for her now, the only place that offered her this level of deep emotional comfort and understood her every need, want, and desire.

After a short moment, Tony led them out of autopsy, because Ducky came into the room. Ducky came in with raised eyebrows at what he was seeing.

Gibbs was standing there, staring at Tony and Ziva and occasionally glancing at the body of Mike Franks. He was just staring at them with a curious expression, seeing how oblivious they were to their surroundings in their need for emotional comfort. Ducky was curious to know why these two were still embraced, right in front of Gibbs if they were trying so desperately to hide this relationship from everyone. But, he also understood what the toll of death would do to people who weren't being totally honest.

Tony led Ziva into the elevator and continued to hold her as he pressed the button upward. She looked up at him.

"We should tell them," Ziva whispered quietly.

"I agree," he said just as quietly. "Life can be cut off at any moment. I don't want to hide anymore. I want them to know that we're happy and that we've found someone. It's only fair. They're family."

As they continued in silence the elevator doors slid open again and McGee and Abby were standing and waiting. Tony indicated that they should come in. Tony whispered into her hair.

"I know. We wait. When this is over."

She nodded into his chest. Their silent communication in front of their coworkers was incredible and necessary at the moment. But, they were all embracing now at the loss of Franks, a member of their strange family.

* * *

A/N – Well, the chapter is not entirely happy, but there is good in there too. As soon as they are over the grief of loosing Mike Franks they want to share with the others. I'm proud of them, even if it took a death of a close friend to come to terms with what they had to do. Leave a review.


	57. Assignment

Assignment

Two more weeks passed and they received an assignment from Gibbs. He came to them while they were in the observation room from another case. There had been a call that morning asking for their cooperation on an investigation that the police in CapeHatteras had. It turned out it was nearly identical to a case that NCIS had investigated twenty years ago and the Cape Hatteras Police Department was handing the case over to them, giving them two cases at once.

"You two," Gibbs said, looking at them after a long time of thinking about what he was doing. "We're going to CapeHatteras. This is almost wrapped. McGee and Dornegat can handle it from here with Abby and Ducky's help. Go home, pack your bags. We hit the road in half an hour."

They did as they were told and left the observation room, returning home and packing a bag to go out to CapeHatteras for who knew how long. This was going to be interesting. As they rode in the car with Gibbs he was talking to Vance on the phone, knowing that this was going to take more than the remainder of the day once they got there. They overheard enough to know that they got a cabin with two bedrooms in it. Gibbs was shaking his head silently, knowing that this was going to happen somehow. He hoped that those two would come clean, otherwise he would have them share again and hope that he didn't have to press them for details in the situation.

He continued to drive in silence. He noticed that there were a lot of loud looks from the front seat, where Tony sat, to the back seat where Ziva sat behind him. Sometimes those looks held fear. Other times those looks held hope and courage. But, those looks always shared one emotion with both agents and he knew that it was pure and unrelenting love that wouldn't ever fade away and would only grow.

Hell, he had seen it grow with time. He had seen these two go from two strangers many years ago, to worst enemies in a matter of moments. Then, they went from worst enemies to (and miraculously) best friends. Somehow, through their time working at NCIS their emotions deepened from best friends to something more than neither was ready to define. They had suffered losses together. They had been through hell together. They had been separated and reunited. They had gone through different relationships and faced their jealousies somewhat together. They had fallen apart and pasted themselves back together. Then, they had left Ziva.

That had nearly been their undoing. It was nearly Tony's undoing, and as much as Gibbs tried to deny it, it was nearly Ziva's undoing, though he hadn't seen that time specifically. Tony had nearly gone crazy without Ziva by his side and had literally travelled halfway around the world to avenge her death and ended up bringing her home from the near-suicide mission that he had chosen for himself.

They had been broken and torn apart at that point, to the point where Gibbs had thought they would never be the same. Now, they were better than the same. Since he sent them to Paris he had seen them grow closer together, at first, only as friends and partners. But, something changed the summer before this one, just about a year ago. Gibbs, of course, knew what was going on. He wasn't stupid and wasn't born yesterday.

He had seen the mistakes, and boy were there a lot of them. The number of times they were both late to work was unmistakable in what had happened with them. Then there was the phone calls that McGee refused to tell him about, though he knew that one of them had answered the wrong phone, based on McGee's strange expression and strange amount of curiosity.

But, something puzzled Gibbs. He wondered about it frequently since that day five weeks ago. After a weekend off, they had come back looking terrified of something. Absolutely horrified. But, there was hope in their eyes and they nearly clung to each other on the job. He had known that something had happened.

Then, later that week, they had shown up to work late two days in a row, once with no warning. The first day they had been so quiet that you could hear a pin drop and that was not the Tony and Ziva he knew. They were always play-bickering, bantering, and flirting (that was something that hadn't ever changed through all of their changes). That day they hadn't said a word to anyone at all. Luckily they didn't have a case, because he would have put them in interrogation just to see if they would talk about anything.

The following day they had both claimed to have a doctor's appointment at the same time that was very important that they couldn't miss and it was sudden. For both of them. That had been strange enough by itself. But, when they showed up to work (just like the day before) they were in the same car, as if they had gone to the same place. They both looked devastated, by whatever had happened, but they were clinging to one another again and sharing those loud looks that he knew they used to communicate, although it was a language of their own that nobody else could understand.

Since then they had become happy again and grown closer in the process of recovering from whatever they had gone through. He shrugged his shoulders as he continued to drive toward CapeHatteras. Whatever was going on, he wanted some answers to his thoughts. He wanted to know exactly what was going on, even if that meant they had to get into details with him. He wanted to know that they were okay, at the very least, even though he knew that it was his fault that they were hiding whatever was going on with them because of his stupid rules. He sighed.

* * *

A/N – some Gibbs thoughts as they drive toward an assignment. Leave a review.


	58. Cape Hatteras, NC

Cape Hatteras, NC

They stood in the small cottage that Vance had rented for them for the night. They were exhausted and ready for bed. But, they just stood there looking around. There were only two bedrooms, one bathroom, one kitchen, and one small living area. They had to talk to Gibbs now, before he decided on where they were all sleeping, which he seemed to be struggling with now, or hesitating, giving them the opportunity to think.

Tony and Ziva exchanged a quiet glance, both looking nervous. They were going to tell him now. Ziva moved closer to Tony as he moved closer to her. Tony's arm went instinctively around Ziva's waist as they turned to face their boss who was staring at the couch.

"Boss?" Tony said quietly.

Gibbs turned, he saw how they were standing. But, it wasn't just that Tony's arm was around Ziva that caught him off-guard. It was Ziva's head leaning against Tony, as though looking for some form of comfort from him. Both of them looked tired. They all had a long drive and a long day. It was late and they were definitely tired. He was standing there and not handing out rooming assignments, but he knew that whatever was going to be said now was going to change his dilemma significantly, s he had hoped.

"DiNozzo?" he asked, trying to keep a calm and even tone, though he was nervous to hear whatever the two agents had to say now.

"Gibbs, Tony and I have something we want to tell you," Ziva said nervously, her arm tightening around Tony's waist and his tightening around hers.

Gibbs noticed this and sighed. Eh indicated the couch and they both sat down. He took the chair next to it and sat down. He looked at them and noticed that they were managing to squeeze themselves onto one cushion of the couch, needing to be near each other for a while.

"Go ahead," he said calmly and quietly, now determined to listen to whatever they were going to say.

"Boss, Ziva and I are together," Tony said, feeling a flutter of nerves in the pit of his stomach as he released this information to his boss and father-figure.

"We have been for about a year," Ziva added.

"Since last summer, at the end of June," Tony said quietly.

Gibbs was silent for a moment. His eyes closed. He should have expected this. He should have expected them to get together and not tell him. He had expected it and it was still difficult for him to hear it. He had some questions.

"The late mornings to work?" he asked them, as his eyes finally opened and found theirs again.

"Because we stayed up late the night before," Ziva admitted, going pink and glancing sideways at Tony.

"The two times that you answered the other's cell phone when McGee called?"

"We were together," Tony said quietly, going as pink as Ziva had before, since they hadn't known that Gibbs had figured that out on his own without McGee's help.

"The car breaking down?"

"You saw the receipt. It did break down, although I did not have to call Tony," Ziva admitted to Gibbs. "We would have been late anyway, but the cr did make us more late that morning."

"Okay, I have one more question. This one is one I can't assume the answer on, because I just don't know," Gibbs said, shaking his head and realizing that if they were this close and still together it wasn't that either of them had screwed it up. He needed to know why they were both more than upset a few weeks ago and why they both had a doctor's appointment on the same day at the same time, quite suddenly and necessarily. "There was a day a few weeks ago. You both went to the doctor, same morning, same time. You came in late. You arrived in the same car. You were both upset. What was that about?"

"I... it ws… we…," Ziva said quietly.

"Didi you two have a fight or something? A breakfast date? What happened?" Gibbs asked.

"Boss. Ziva had miscarried the morning before that," Tony said very quietly, squeezing her tighter as tears came into both of their eyes.

"Oh," Gibbs said in nothing more than a whisper, unsure of what else to say to them at that moment.

"It was nothing involving NCIS that caused it," Ziva said quietly, not looking at Gibbs. "I had some scarring on the lining of my uterus from my time in Somalia. They have cleaned it up, but Tony and I are trying to wait to have children. It was unplanned and we were unprepared for it."

Gibbs smiledd gently to himself. Yea, his kids were really thinking things through. Sure, they had an unplanned pregnancy, which he wasn't gong to ask the details on, but they wanted this and they wanted to make it last.

"You two went through that silently?" he asked. "You know you can always talk to me about something if it's bothering you."

They both nodded and sighed in relief. "Thanks, boss," Tony said quietly.

* * *

A/N – So, they told him. They finally told Gibbs and he is reacting calmly, as we all knew he would, because we have seen his thoughts. But, I'm sure that Tony and Ziva are feeling a little more calm with him reacting calmly and talking this through with them. Leave a review and let me know what you think.


	59. Blessing

Blessing

"I have a little more to say," Gibbs told Tony and Ziva quietly.

They were both nervous for whatever was coming. Yes, Gibbs had reacted calmly up until now, but they had just spent about a year breaking rule twelve, one of his more important rules, they figured since it was high up on his list of rules. They looked at him as he looked back. He could see how nervous they were and he smiled.

"I can see that this is working out well for both of you. I see that you are thinking things through. I see that you are thinking of the future, which does require commitment, and I see that you're happy with each other," Gibbs said quietly, looking them over carefully as they clung to each other.

They were a little shocked that Gibbs was talking so much, because he was a functional mute. He was speaking more and now explaining this to them. But, they already knew this. They realized that he was saying this because he wanted them to know it. Gibbs paused before continuing.

"I want you to know that you can always turn to me. I also want you to know that I put rule twelve in place for me, not for you. My rules are something for me to live by. It's time that you two made your own set of rules to live by. Mine are just a guideline for my team, my family. Besides, there are more than fifty rules and you can't listen to just one. You two obviously have a good thing going and rule five is more important than rule twelve, which is why its higher on the list. Never waste good. You two are good," Gibbs said calmly, letting his agents know that he was okay with it, without saying a word.

Tony and Ziva shared a smile with each other as Gibbs said this. He was giving them his blessing. They looked back to Gibbs, unsure of what to say, but saw that he had more to continue on with.

"I am sorry for the loss you've both suffered and I'm glad you two are being honest with me. If there's anything I can do to make this time easier for you, just let me know. You should have talked to me about it," Gibbs said to them sincerely.

Tony and Ziva could both see the hurt in their boss's eyes as he thought about what his agents had gone through. They knew that this hurt him nearly as much as it had hurt them. They were touched by this.

"Now, I need you to know. I need to say this straight out. I approve," Gibbs said sternly. "I approve of this. I am glad to see that it's stayed mostly out of work. Keep it that way. I know that there will be times where that's not possible, especially in the future, when you do decide to have a family, or when you are going to get married, or whatever. But, you also need to be upfront with Vance, as well. There's paperwork that needs to be filled out for two agents who start a relationship within NCIS. It's not encouraged, but there are no rules against it. I still want both of you on my team."

Tony and Ziva sighed in relief. They had already realized that those words were coming, but hearing them and knowing them were two different things. They shared another smile as their arms tightened around one another. They looked back at Gibbs after a short moment of being lost in each other's eyes.

They were a little shocked, no matter how pleased, at the instant approval that they got. They wondered what else Gibbs had to say to them, so they looked at him again.

"That also solves my other dilemma. You two will share a room. I do expect you not to oversleep though. I don't want to have to go in there to wake you up," Gibbs said, chuckling quietly at the thought. "And, please, share this news with the others when we get back, just not during a case. They'll be pleased, I think."

"You think, boss?" Tony asked quietly.

He hadn't even though about how the others would react to their relationship. He and Ziva had been so concerned with what Gibbs was going to say that they hadn't bothered to think what the others would think when they told them. Not yet, anyway. They were thinking now.

"Yes, I think so. McGee's been concerned about you, Tony, because you haven't gone on a date in over two years, according to what he knows. And Abby thinks there's something wrong with both of you. She's been coming to me and panicking about it. I don't know what Ducky thinks, he's been oddly silent about you two since before this whole thing started when you went to Paris," Gibbs explained.

Again they smiled at each other, but felt a little guilty for concerning at least two of their coworkers and family members.

"We'll tell them as soon as we have a break from casework," Ziva promised Gibbs, giving Tony and squeeze.

"Good," Gibbs said with his half-smile. "Now, get off to bed."

Ziva rose, but Tony didn't follow, letting her get up without him. She looked back at him curiously. He stood up and whispered in her ear. "Go ahead. I want another quick word with Gibbs. I'll be up in just a minute."

Ziva nodded, planting a small, but affectionate kiss on Tony's cheek before going upstairs and not daring to listen to what was going to be said, in case it was some worry or something that Tony wasn't share with her. Whatever it was, Tony would turn to her eventually, and she knew this. She also knew that his eyes followed her all the way up the stairs before he turned back around to speak to Gibbs, because she could feel his eyes on her.

* * *

A/N – Well, that was more than Gibbs has ever spoken before. But, all of it needed to be said and I'm sure there was a lot more on his mind than that, considering all the thoughts we've seen from him recently. I'm so glad he approves. Review and let me know what you think!


	60. Tony's Question

Tony's Question

Tony watched Ziva go up the stairs and waited until he couldn't see her to clear his mind of the sudden nerves he was feeling now. He heard the door close and he knew he was good to work on his surprise. He turned around to face Gibbs, who was sitting in the chair still and staring at him.

"DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, as he put a western on the television.

"Boss, I have a question…," Tony said shakily.

Tony's heart was pounding in his chest. It was flying at a million miles an hour and adrenaline was coursing through his system. This was the most nerve-wracking thing he had ever done before. He was silently glad that he had never had any kind of relationship with Wendy's parents when he was younger, because he just hadn't cared then. Now, he cared and it mattered. Especially now.

"You've been more of a father to Ziva over the last seven years than her father has ever been to her and I... I wanted to ask your permission to ask her to marry me."

Tony's last few words had come out strong and confident. However, his other words were barely more than a whisper, as he admitted what he knew about how both he and Ziva felt toward one another. He was nervous for bringing up something so personal and wondering how Gibbs would react, considering that they had only just told them that they were in a relationship.

Gibbs smiled at him. "I'll grant it. But, you should talk to Eli David as well," Gibbs informed the younger man standing in front of him, who had just completely relaxed. "He is still her father."

Tony tensed again. Now it felt like his heart had stopped. He had been avoiding that thought since the original thought had popped into his head a few weeks ago. Now he had to confront it and who better to do that with than the man who Tony knew would understand.

"I know, Gibbs," Tony said, using his boss's name for the first time since they had met too many years ago, before Tony was a member of NCIS. "I'm a little afraid of that."

"I'm sure Eli must already know what's going on between the two of you. You don't honestly think that he's stayed completely away from her, do you?" Gibbs asked.

Tony shook his head and fidgeted a little, unsure of how to express his nerves of speaking with this man ever again. After all, the man had threatened his life on more than one occasion in regards to what he was doing with Ziva. "Boss, can I be honest about something?"

"You can always be honest, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, chuckling at the odd question and wondering if Tony would actually make it through a conversation with the Director of Mossad.

"I'm a little terrified of Eli David," he said quietly. "I don't know what to say to that man. I don't know how to act around him. I don't know how to word what I want to say…."

Gibbs made to interrupt Tony, but Tony waved him off, wanting Gibbs to allow him to finish his statement.

"I mean, I don't really care if he gives permission or not. I just… well, I would rather just tell him what I want to do and leave him no choice, because he'll say no. I mean… honestly, Gibbs… I annoy the hell out of Eli. He doesn't like me and he'll never allow this. He'll think I'm no good for Ziva. He never liked me. And when he thought that Ziva and I were having a secret relationship the summer you were retired and in Mexico he threatened to take me out personally, because he didn't think I was good enough for Ziva."

Gibbs laughed. Part of his laughter was at Tony's nerves. Part of his laughter was almost a silent threat to Eli David to try taking out one of his team members. That was a quick way to start a war between two countries that had been allies forever.

"Then, tell him that's what you're doing," Gibbs said sternly to Tony. "Besides, I'll stand in with you while you give him a call. You can use MTAC so you can speak face to face, so to speak."

Tony smiled slightly, feeling comforted by these words. He knew that Gibbs wouldn't let him down ever. "Thanks, Gibbs," Tony said quietly.

"Of course, Tony," Gibbs said, now using the younger agent's first name for the first time since he had first learned the man's name too many years ago.

They shared a soft smile and then Tony headed up the stairs, hoping beyond all hope that Ziva hadn't heard a word of what was said between him and Gibbs. When he found the stairway empty, he was pleased. As he stepped into his room, Ziva stepped out of the shower and back into the room, right behind Tony, and only wearing a towel. It was going to be a long night for the two of them.

* * *

A/N – so here we get to the question we've all been waiting for; Gibbs permission for a wedding.


	61. A Call in MTAC

A Call in MTAC

It was a couple more days in North Carolina before the case was solved and the suspect was caught and brought back to NCIS headquarters in Washington, DC. Tony, Gibbs, and Ziva returned and finished filing their paperwork before Gibbs sent them home.

"DiNozzo, just a minute before you go," Gibbs said.

Tony nearly groaned, he was dying to go home, because it had already been a long day. It was nine at night and they had started their work that morning at six. He looked at Ziva. Since it was only those three in the squad room he decided it was safe to talk to her openly.

"I'll meet you there," he said quietly, planting a kiss on her cheek before walking over to Gibbs.

Gibbs was smirking. "I'm going to call Tel Aviv tomorrow at seven in the morning. I expect you to be here and ready to go. I've sent for McGee and Ziva to be here at that time also, that way you don't have to leave her early," he explained. "And, thank you for talking to Vance today. What did he say?"

"He said that it's fine as long as it's fine with you," Tony said. "But, you already knew he was going to say that. He was disappointed that we didn't share sooner, but he saw the reasoning behind it."

"Good. See you first thing in the morning."

It was, of course, an enjoyable night as ever with Ziva and then they arrived at work early for a change. Ziva was curious as to his sudden change of heart on how soon or late they arrived at work, but she didn't mention it. Just like she was curious about his talk with Gibbs only a few days ago and then yesterday, though she didn't mention them.

Tony entered MTAC to find Gibbs there, waiting for him.

"Okay, make the call," Gibbs said, as Tony came to stand next to him. Next moment the face of Eli David was in front of them. He looked impatient, confused, and a little agitated at the interruption in whatever he was doing.

"Whatever this call is about, it better be good, Agent Gibbs," Eli said, ignoring the fact that Tony was standing right there looking extremely nervous, though Eli could definitely see it and comprehend perfectly what he was feeling.

"I'm not the one making the call today, Eli," Gibbs said. "But, I do think it's important. Not case-related though, if that's what you mean."

"Then, why call in your MTAC? Why go to all that trouble? You could have just left me a message with my secretary, you know," Eli said, sounding a little angry now.

"Oh, no," Gibbs said, shaking his head and chuckling. "This isn't a message you want to get from a secretary, Eli. Trust me. I'm not the one calling, either. Special Agent DiNozzo has something he would like to share with you."

"Is that so?" Eli asked with an entertained smile. "Something he would like to share that should not be left with a secretary? This should be entertaining."

"Depends on how you look at it, I suppose," Gibbs said with a half smile and pushed Tony forward a little, so he was the center of the image now and Eli could see him fully and clearly.

"Hi," Tony said nervously. "I wanted to tell you myself. Ziva and I have been dating for over a year. I love her with everything I have and she loves me. We're happy together. We've been through hell and back together and we've survived. I've gone to the ends of the Earth to save her and would do it all over again. I plan on asking her to marry me."

"No! Absolutely not!" Eli said instantly. "You are nothing but a cheating chatterbox, Special Agent DiNozzo. I will not allow you to do this. This is not your place. Go find some blonde to date. I refuse to allow Ziva to marry a non-Jewish man and especially one such as yourself!"

"You see, Eli, I wasn't asking your permission, exactly," Tony retorted with a smile. "I was more telling you what was going to happen. Ziva is an independent woman. If she says no, then that's how it will be. But, I wont' let you decide her future for her, not anymore. That decision is up to her and not you. I'm not who you seem to think I am. Sure, I went through a time in my life, which was rather juvenile and not exactly respectable, but I'm not that person anymore. I love Ziva and would never do anything to hurt her. I want her to be happy and that's not too much to ask, but I'm not asking your permission on this. I'm going to ask her to marry me and leave the decision up to her."

"You are not good for my Ziva!" Eli nearly shouted, going red in the face with anger. "You are not good for any respectable woman!"

"Now, Eli," Gibbs said unhappily, stepping forward. "I might be the man's boss, but I'm not blind either. Tony and Ziva are perfect for each other, and I distinctly heard Tony say he wasn't asking for your permission. Honestly, I'm the one who suggested this call, since he thought it would be right to tell you what was going on. Now, you will accept that gracefully and be happy for your daughter, or I will personally make sure you don't get an invitation to the wedding."

Eli frowned heavily and sighed. He was concerned. He had no choice in this and he had never been put in such a position when it came to his daughter. He looked and Tony and could definitely see that he cared about Ziva.

"Could I have a word with Ziva?" he asked.

"She doesn't know what Tony's planning," Gibbs warned him.

"I will not ruin that surprise for you, DiNozzo, but I would like to talk to her a moment," Eli said.

"I'll get her, boss," Tony offered quietly and left MTAC.

* * *

A/N – Well, that could have gone better, but it could have gone worse, too. But, hey, what did we expect out of Eli, instant approval? I don't think so. Next up will be him having a small heart-to-heart with his daughter, who he hasn't seen since his visit to the states when Tony and Ziva's relationship was still fairly new. Review and tell me what you think!


	62. Eli Talks to Ziva (Part 1)

Eli Talks to Ziva (Part 1)

Tony walked out of MTAC and stopped on the catwalk hoping to catch his heart-rate and drop it a bit before having to confront Eli David once more with Ziva by his side. He didn't trust or like Eli, but he was still Ziva's father and he knew that Ziva felt basically the same about the man. Now, he had to throw her in MTAC, unknowingly and put her face to face with her father again.

He finally moved from his spot and found his confidence. He would have her back in there, just as Gibbs had had his back. He found Ziva working peacefully at her desk. He walked straight up to her. He tapped on her desk until she finally looked up.

"Gibbs gave far too much paperwork for an early morning," Ziva said quietly. "Would you care to help? Where have you been anyway?"

"MTAC," Tony said quietly. "Your father's on. He wants to talk to you."

"No," Ziva said quietly.

Tony went around to the other side of her desk and kneeled down, taking her hands in his, looking her straight in the eyes. He felt sorry for doing this, without telling her the reason for it, but she would find out that reason sooner rather than later.

"He's insisting on it, Zi," he whispered lightly. "I'll be in there and Gibbs is in there too. Nothing bad can happen. Trust me, please."

She studied him for a moment and then finally caved under the intensity of his look in his green eyes. She nodded.

"Alright, as long as you are in there also," she agreed and stood up with him.

They walked back upstairs to MTAC and Ziva scanned them in. They entered to find Gibbs and Eli in a staring contest. Tony thought that was the only place he would rather be less, was between a staring contest of these two men. Yet, he was putting himself right there, but it wasn't for nothing and it was definitely worth every second of torture.

Ziva's hand had made its way into Tony's and she was clinging tightly and tense as they came. Tony gave her hand a squeeze and led them forward straight into the middle of the staring contest.

"Ah, my Ziva," Eli said, looking at the other two agents and breaking the gaze with Gibbs.

"Abba?" Ziva asked quietly, hoping that this would be short and sweet and straight to the point.

Tony was tensing as he stood there and he felt Gibbs shift uncomfortably. Ziva certainly wasn't her father's anymore. She belonged to another man already, regardless of whether there were vows said or not.

"I just learned that you are sharing a relationship with one Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo," Eli said suavely, ignoring Tony's presence and speaking of him as if he weren't standing right there; though he was glaring down at the clasped hands. "You know I do not like that man, right?"

Tony thought this was an understatement. He had met Eli David twice before now. He had seen him multiple times and he knew that Eli didn't like him. Before he ever met him he had received a death threat from him; the first time he met him, Tony received a death threat from him; and, the last time he had received that hard stare that he was just trying to break Gibbs with moments ago. Now he was standing here, telling him he wanted to marry his only remaining daughter.

"Abba, this is none of your business," Ziva said, going a little pink and standing her ground.

Tony noticed that her posture straightened up immediately and she stood stronger and more confident than ever before, even in the face of something dangerous involving work.

"And, yes, he and I are in a personal relationship outside of work, unlike the time you suspected us," Ziva continued.

"The time I suspected you, you were certainly spending an awful lot of time there. This only gives me more reason to believe that you are keeping it from me still. Why, Ziva, are you afraid of me?" Eli asked, sounding hurt, but not looking it.

"I am not afraid of you, Abba," Ziva said confidently. "And I have no reason to lie about something that happened so long ago. You will not hurt Tony now. I will make sure of that."

"What makes you think you are capable of these kinds of decisions? Do you not need your father anymore?" Eli asked, still sounding hurt, but this time showing a slight hint of injury to his ego.

Tony knew that this was one of Eli's tactics of manipulating his daughter into doing exactly what he wanted her to do. Ziva obviously realized it too, because her face turned harder and colder at his words and his feigned emotions.

"I am an American citizen now and he makes me happier than I have ever been in my whole life. If you are planning on telling me that we should not be together, then do not bother. I do not care what you think. I am happy and will not sacrifice my own happiness for you any further than I already have. The last time I chose to do that I ended up in a terrorist training camp in Somalia on the Horn of Africa! Is that clear?"

* * *

A/N – So, the conversation has begun and it looks like Ziva is going to stand her ground. Read more to find out what happens next! Will Eli cave? Will he give in and allow this? Will he threaten them again? Leave a review if you have thoughts.


	63. Eli Talks to Ziva (Part 2)

Eli Talks to Ziva (Part 2)

Tony glanced at Ziva. She was definitely angry and had definitely sensed that Eli was trying, again to manipulate her. Tony was proud of her for standing up for herself and subconsciously stepped closer to her.

Gibbs was also staring at Ziva, not having expected such a strong reaction from her and a strong emotional response in the face of her father, who was Mossad and had trained her to hide away all emotions from every situation. He was proud of Ziva and he had a crooked half-smile placed on his face.

Eli, however, was taken aback by his daughter's words; so much so that he took a step back from the screen and his face showed the shock that he was feeling; which was a rare sight to see any emotions on his face. He looked at the two, studying them closely. They were standing very close together. Their hands were linked by they were leaning just slightly toward one another and he hadn't failed to notice Tony's protective step toward her and Gibbs' smirk at her tone with her father and the way she suddenly had confidence with Tony standing by her side.

Eli noted to himself that Ziva and Tony had the same ideas in their heads. They were going to get their way no matter what. He thought they were acting like a couple of spoiled children with this attitude, but he could see how much they depended on each other and he was disappointed in Ziva, because he had trained her to never rely on anyone other than herself.

"I need to ask you, Ziva. What do you see in the future with this man?" Eli asked, after composing his thoughts, finally.

Ziva looked a little shocked at the question, but didn't hesitate to answer it. "Happiness," she replied wistfully. She glanced sideways at Tony, getting lost in his gaze for a few moments and smiling quietly to herself, before allowing her eyes to return to her father on the screen in front of them. "I see complete happiness. I want to spend the rest of my life him and someday have his children."

Eli sighed heavily and looked down for a moment as he thought. He couldn't deny his daughter this happiness after all he had put her through. He really wanted to deny her the happiness she had right now, but he realized that he was losing this battle with two that were stubborn against him and Gibbs who was backing them. There was no way he was going to win this. He had already tried to manipulate her out of it and that hadn't worked.

But, Ziva wasn't done speaking. As soon as Eli's eyes returned to her, she stepped forward, pulling Tony along with her and standing closer to the image of her father shown on the screen.

"My decision is mine alone, Abba," she continued quietly, squeezing Tony's hand as she spoke, knowing that her decision would be worthless without Tony making the same decisions in regards to her. "They are not your decisions. They are not Gibbs' decisions and he was graceful enough to allow us to continue working together as we always have when we told him about what was going on between us…."

"You are allowing this Gibbs?" Eli asked. "You are allowing them to work on the same team in a dangerous field while they are like this and being so protective of one another. Are you insane?"

"Maybe," Gibbs said with a shrug. "They still get the job done better than any other pairing I've ever seen. And, honestly, I've been around too long to not have seen many pairings or many inter-office relationships."

"I am not done," Ziva announced, calling the attention back to herself, so she could finish telling her father off for the day. "As I was saying, this is my decision. Abba, if I am being completely honest with you, any man that you do not like is probably a good man for me, since the ones that you have liked for me so far have ended up being untrustworthy and traitorous men who try to control and abuse me the way you always did. I trust Tony. I trust him with everything! I love Tony and would not want to live without him as an essential part of my life!"

Eli's jaw dropped as he looked at Ziva and heard what she was saying. It took a moment, but you could literally see his face changing as her words sank in. He went from insulted, to hurt, to understanding in a matter of seconds.

"Fine," he said looking straight at Tony. "Fine, that was all," he added, looking at Ziva.

Eli hung up on his end and there was completely silence in MTAC for a moment as they stared at the blank screen, temporarily lost in their own thoughts.

Tony was glad that it had worked out in his favor, and although it wasn't a blessing, exactly, it was better than a flat out refusal. It was better than anything he had hoped for, which was good for him and Ziva. He was going to accept it one day and everyone knew that.

Gibbs was smiling at the way Eli was squirming while facing Ziva and Tony. They were like a force of nature and nothing to be messed with. Gibbs nearly chuckled as he remembered Ziva's comment about how he was compared with how the men were that he had chosen for Ziva.

Ziva was confused. Why had they been talking in MTAC of there was no case that involved Mossad or came even close to potentially involving Mossad. She wondered if Eli had called them or if they had called Eli. Eli was unhappy, that was sure from his face and his actions. So, Ziva figured it must have been either of them calling. She didn't know why either would call, though, she knew they knew what he had done to her and they were protecting her over and over again.

* * *

A/N – So, that went well, I think. Yea! Two chapters in one update, because that conversation was definitely lacking details in my story of "Forbidden". I think I like this version better. Review and let me know what you think.


	64. The Following Conversation (Part 1)

The Following Conversation (Part 1)

The call was cut. The screen first turned to an array of bright colors before it was shut off completely on their end too. It went totally dark and black as night. Ziva stood there staring at it for another short moment, unable to fully comprehend what had just happened. There was little that had been said, but it was telling words. She wondered why her father had had those questions in mind. Then, there was that glare toward Tony at the end of the call that seemed to mean more to him than it did to her. She breathed in, trying to comprehend it all.

Ziva felt assaulted by her father's questioning. But, she also felt very triumphant; she had finally done something to please herself instead of pleasing him all the time. She felt like she won for the first time in her life, in regards to her father; basically she had ignored what he was asking of her and done something for herself; she was no longer his Mossad Officer and she was free to make her own choices, and she had let him know that.

Of course, Eli David wasn't happy about this. No. not at all. But, Ziva was more than happy. That was what mattered to her now. She didn't care about making her father happy anymore, because that was impossible. She wanted to make a life for herself and if that life was going to include Tony, then that was what she wanted to do, with or without her father's approval. She had long ago stopped searching for his approval and now she was able to show that to him, no matter what the cost. She knew that Tony would have her back through anything and everything.

All in all, Ziva felt finally freed from her father's reigns. The call had ended and she had proven to him that she was making her own choices and she was proud to do so. But, she was also confused as to how he knew about her relationship with Tony and why he wanted to talk to her about it, why he had such a strong opinion on it, why he wanted to warn her about him after all this time, and what had caused this call to take place at all.

"Is there some case that I did not hear about?" she asked, finally turning around to face Gibbs, figuring he must have been the source of the call… or the reason behind the call, since he was in the room.

"Nope," Gibbs said simply, with a sideways glance toward Tony before his eyes returned to Ziva.

If there was no case that involved Israel or Mossad then there was no reason to be using MTAC to call Eli David, the Director of Mossad. Ziva felt her eyes narrow as confusion set in inside her and her curiosity grew a little more as she stood there.

"Why did he call?" she asked, the confusion clear in her voice. Gibbs and Tony could also hear that she was doubting whatever Eli's motives might have been, but she could see a sideways glance exchanged between the two of them, and she realized that her assumption was wrong. He didn't call them. They had called him for some reason.

Ziva's eyes narrowed again. This time it was the old, wild, and dangerous expression that was captured on her young face. She didn't know why Gibbs kept glancing at Tony or why either of them would have called Eli David in the first place. She realized that whatever this call was about, was not only something to do with Tony, but something to do with her as well, since she had been called into the room. She was suspicious now. She was going to double check herself this time before assuming though, since the last assumption had been wrong.

"Did you call him, Gibbs?" she asked, her suspicion obvious when she spoke.

"Nope," he repeated, shaking his head slightly.

"I did," Tony muttered, staring hard into Ziva's eyes as hers finally traveled over to him when he finally spoke up, still looking a little pale.

Ziva's heart was racing a little and there was a knot in the pit of her stomach. Why had Tony called Eli David of all people to call from MTAC without having business involving Mossad? Why had he used NCIS for this time to call him?

Ziva felt a little panicked. She could feel a knot in her chest clenching tightly as the panic set in from the memories of dealing with her father throughout here life. She was very worried. Anything involving her father never ended well. What was going on that she didn't already know about? She was so confused by this move. She was barely breathing from the knot that had moved from her stomach to her chest, but she was also nearly hyperventilating and could feel a panic attack coming on; something she hadn't experienced since before going to Paris with Tony and finding comfort in her partner and soul-mate.

Ziva closed her eyes for a brief moment, and remembered that Tony never did anything without having a very good reason for it. He wouldn't hurt her on purpose and he knew that this had to be worth whatever pain she would be going through in seeing him once again. She was already beginning to calm down, just realizing that Tony had a good reason for calling her father.

She opened her eyes and looked up at Tony once again. He knew that this was hurting her, but she could see that he had to do it, for some unknown reason. His eyes told her that, even though his mouth couldn't at the moment. There was definitely some good reason that Tony decided to call Eli David today. She relaxed a little more, but was struck with more curiosity and more confusion at the same time.

She wanted badly to know what Tony could possibly have for a reason to call her father when they had no case. She wanted to know what had made Tony see that it was okay to call him. What had off-set the need to keep Ziva happy and safe and sacrifice it a little to talk with her father for a few stolen minutes in MTAC? She wanted to know that. But, she also knew that she wasn't going to get that information just yet and she would have to wait for it.

* * *

A/N – Ziva is a little confused. We see her almost lose trust before she remembers what Tony is like and that she would trust him with anything. We also see that trust showing itself in her thoughts. Let me know what you think!


	65. The Following Conversation (Part 2)

The Following Conversation (Part 2)

"Why?" Ziva finally asked, even though she was more than aware that she wasn't going to get an exact answer from either Gibbs or Tony at the moment.

Ziva's eyes were searching Tony's carefully. But, she was not searching in a distrusting way; she was searching curiously. He shrugged casually and his eyes looked a little hurt as he took Ziva in for a moment. He glanced sideways at Gibbs for some kind of silent emotional support as he tried to deal with this. Gibbs only nodded once to him, Ziva noticed and that was it. Then, Gibbs decided it was time to exit the room and allow Tony to deal with this on his own. This would give Tony no additional support and Ziva was a little afraid of that, because Tony looked as though he needed it at the moment, as though he was afraid that Ziva wouldn't trust him right then.

Gibbs took a couple of steps forward and stopped right in front of Ziva, putting both his hands on her shoulders gently and staring into the depths of her chocolate eyes. He sighed a little and gave her a half smile, already seeing that the message he had come over to say was unnecessary to relay. But, he was going to say it anyway, to remind her and to reinforce what she was already doing.

"Trust him, David," he whispered into her ear with a small kiss on her cheek before letting go of her and leaving MTAC where he knew Tony and Ziva would hardly talk about what had just happened, though they definitely needed to come to a silent agreement on this one.

Tony's eyes returned to Ziva after watching their boss walk away from them. Ziva stared into the depths of his green eyes. She relaxed more under his intense gaze and knew that he was willing her to trust him. She knew she could trust him and she was determined to show him that, no matter how curious she was about this. She trusted him even without knowing what the reason behind this call. She trusted him even through her emotions of talking to her father brought up again inside her. She also knew that she could talk to him about these emotions and he would support her all the way through whatever she was feeling and help her deal with that properly.

"Same reason I wanted to talk to Gibbs the other day," Tony nearly whispered into the darkness of MTAC, knowing that she needed some kind of reason, even if it left her questions unanswered for the moment.

Ziva nodded quietly to him. She didn't understand yet why he wanted to talk to her father, but she trusted his words. She was still very confused and curious, but she trusted Tony. She knew that whatever Tony was keeping to himself now, he was doing it for a good reason and probably going to tell her sooner rather than later. She sighed and closed her eyes gently again.

Without opening her eyes, Ziva took a smile, blind step forward, knowing that her face showed the vulnerability she was feeling now that nobody else was there to watch them. Her emotions were surely pouring out of her and Tony could read every single one of them without needing her eyes to tell him what she was feeling.

Ziva felt Tony's muscular arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer to him. Gibbs whispered words were ringing through her thoughts again. _"Trust him, David."_

They stayed there for a short moment and then Ziva opened her eyes again. She raised her gaze to meet Tony's and found that he was looking at her curiously and in awe. She trusted him with every fiber of her being. She had to trust him. She didn't know, anymore, how to not trust Tony. She didn't think that was a possibility anymore; not after all they had been through together. And, even though she knew this was hurting her now and confusing her, she knew it was his business for now and she could trust him with whatever was going on that she didn't know about.

She searched his eyes, seeing that they were filled with wonder at the expression on her face. She knew that he was reading the trust there and that he was wondering how she could possibly trust him without having a reason, since Ziva David simply didn't hand out trust so easily to anyone. He knew that she wouldn't ever come close to trusting anyone else like this. But, he was still amazed and awed into silence at the trust he was receiving.

Ziva dropped her head onto Tony's chest and wrapped her own arms around him and breathed a relaxed sigh into him. "I trust you, Tony," she whispered to his chest. "I trust you more than anyone else in the whole world."

His arms tightened around her, pulling her all the way into him and holding her there protectively and caringly. Ziva spoke again, feeling his tension, as though waiting for something bad to be said.

"I know you didn't do it to hurt me or control me," Ziva continued one quietly. "I know you had a good reason. You had a purpose. I do not know what that purpose was, but I trust you completely."

She felt Tony relax as she spoke these words and she leaned up on her toes and kissed him gingerly on the lips as they stood in the darkness. She pulled him into her and tried hard to show him in that moment that she was okay with it and she trusted him. He got the message and she knew it. Their body language was always their strongest form of communication and it was even stronger now that they were together; it only continued to grow with time.

* * *

A/N – So, that wasn't really a verbal conversation. But, it was still a conversation for Tony and Ziva and it's great that they can read each other so well, because that's who they usually communicate. It's great to see Ziva so trusting of him and it's great to see him responding to that. Let me know what you think!


	66. Vacation Idea

Vacation Idea

After the conversation with Eli on Monday, Ziva had been fairly drained the rest of the week, but she hadn't ever been happier with her life. She knew for sure that she trusted Tony and felt like she could take on the world with this new-found assurance in her trust toward him. She knew for sure that with Tony by her side, she could do anything. After all, she had taken on the great Eli David and stood up for herself and what she wanted finally. She had never felt so free of her old ties before as she did now.

With Ziva's triumphant feeling and her idea that she could take on the world, she was not surprised that they had a difficult case. They, somehow, made it through it. It had required long nights, a lot of thought, and too many coffees to think about. But, they were done with it and it was Friday. That meant that they had a rare weekend off. It was a relief and Gibbs told them that they weren't on-call as long as he got their paperwork before they left.

They were just finishing up at their desks now and Ziva knew that her and Tony had not found any time to talk to the rest of the team, but honestly, this weekend wasn't going to do at all. They had not spent much quality time with each other through this horrific case and they needed the alone-time before anything else could be scheduled involving their friends.

Ziva stood and stretched, handing Gibbs her file-folder and Tony mimicked her. Gibbs looked at Tony's to make sure it was actually done. He signed both folders and nodded to the two of them, indicating that they should go home and enjoy themselves.

The ride home, in a shared car, was silent, since both agents were exhausted and hungry. They stopped down the street from their apartment and grabbed some Chinese take-out and made their way home. They walked up the stairs, because apparently the elevator was out-of-order, which was not good if there was someone in the building in a wheelchair. Ziva hoped it would be fixed soon for those people, though she didn't mind the stairs and Tony was too tired to complain about them.

Ziva unlocked the door, since Tony was carrying the food. They entered into the darkness of the apartment and Ziva flipped the light switch on.

"I want to go away the week after next," Tony said quietly, as he set down his keys and took off his tie.

They were heading toward the couch. Tony had spoken with Ziva's back turned to him. Instantly she began to panic. He wanted to take a week off… why? She was confused, but she was also tired. _What does he mean?_ Ziva thought, trying to force her brain to function properly. _Does he mean he wants to spend time apart? Did we rush into this? What did I miss?_

Ziva stopped dead, halfway between the couch and the door. She took in a breath. She knew she could trust Tony and her mind was going automatically, as it had gone since she was a little girl and learned that she couldn't trust men. Tony, of course, noticed how she stiffened at his words. She set down the bag she had in her hand and sat down slowly on the couch, leaving enough room for him. She faced him and watched him as he sat down beside her. She knew the confusion was still showing on her face and she could see that he understood where she was confused.

"I want to go away with _you_ the week after next," Tony amended, taking her hand in his gently.

Ziva nodded, with a smile forming on her face. She was curious about what had brought this on. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time away from work with Tony, but she was curious as to why he wanted to go away wit her. She was always up for another vacation (especially one with him), since she hadn't had very many in her life, but this move made her curious.

She didn't say anything, though. She wasn't entirely sure what to say to him. Could they get a week off? Was it too late to ask for something so close to the time off that they both wanted? Would this work out? Should she get her hopes up?

"Okay, honestly… I already talked to Gibbs and Vance…. We've both got that week off and I would like to take you to Hawaii… well, actually, I already bought the plane tickets, too…. It's warm there, the way you like it. There's sand and water, so it's nice…. We could really enjoy ourselves… if you want to do something different, that's okay, too…. But, if you are mad at me for requesting time off for you, I'll understand… I mean, I didn't exactly ask you, did I?"

"Tony," Ziva said in a breathy voice, interrupting his nervous rambling, and not entirely sure what to say to him at the moment. She squeezed his hand and smiled at him softly; Tony really was incredible.

Ziva had gone through many emotions that Tony had seen on her face as he spoke. He could see, however, that it was not a mistake to request the time off for his partner and hopefully-future wife. He knew her well, though. She always wanted another vacation and sometimes (especially when you were dating your partner from work) you needed to take a vacation. He could see that she liked the idea of going to Hawaii, and was really touched at how much thought he had put into it and how he had done all this as a surprise to her. She wanted to chuckle about his worrying about whether she would be okay with it or not, but she knew that it was only because he loved her and dint want her to be angry at all (and especially not at him).

Zva moved without thinking, nearly leaping into his arms. Her mouth attached to his instantly and it was obviously not the response he was expecting from her in that moment, though it didn't take him long to wrap his arms around his ninja and for them to both forget about the take-out that they had gone out of their way to get tonight. Tony knew that this answer was a definite yes to spending their time together.

* * *

A/N – Alright, so we made it through a week we see our Ziva questioning herself a little and then understanding a little more and acting a little unusual for her, throwing herself into Tony. Well, I guess love changes a person a little. Review and tell me your thoughts!


	67. Dinner

Dinner

It was the night before their vacation and even though they had spent a lot of money to go on this vacation, Tony wanted to take Ziva out for dinner tonight. She had dressed up in one of his favorite little black dresses and he was dressed in a suit. It was a fancy place and she was feeling nervous for some reason she couldn't explain.

They sat down across from each other and Ziva couldn't fight the feeling that this vacation was something more to him than it was to her at the moment, like he was planning some sort of surprise or something. She smiled nervously at him, as though this was their very first date ever. They had been on plenty of dates and plenty of romantic dinners and even fancy dinners, so this should be nothing new. But Ziva was only just beginning to realize that something was different now.

She thought about it as they ate in silence. Tony had talked to Gibbs without her there. Tony had called her father. Tony wanted to go on this vacation and had made sure the both of them had the week off and made sure it was a big vacation and somewhere warm like she liked it. Tony was taking her out on a romantic and fancy dinner now. Something was definitely different and Ziva was only beginning to see it. Tony could see that she was beginning to see it.

"What's on your mind, love?" Tony asked her curiously as they finished eating.

"You, always," she replied thoughtfully and he knew it was the truth. He knew that she was trying to figure out what he was up to without actually investigating it. He knew that she didn't expect what was coming to her either, otherwise the surprise would have been ruined.

The common knowledge was that Tony had commitment issues and he wasn't every going to get married. He was a playboy who had fallen in love with the Israeli ninja (former Mossad Operative), which was nearly a forbidden love. Those who had either figured out that they were together or assumed that they were together also assumed that there was no way that this was going to work out.

What the other people knew was an emotionless Mossad assassin and an unfaithful playboy who couldn't commit. It made for an interesting mental image. But, no one could imagine how well they would work together both on and off the field, inside and outside of work.

"Of course," Tony said with a smile and took her hand. "Come, dance with me."

She smiled back at him, knowing that she had never allowed any man to take her out onto the dance floor. This was another first for her and she was giving it willingly to Tony. Sure, she had danced with a man, just never in an intimate way and allowing him to take the lead. That was against her better judgment until meeting Tony.

He led her toward the dance floor and held her close to his body as the music began playing. His arms were wrapped around her waist and hers were around his shoulders. They were lost in each other's eyes, as they usually got caught up doing. Tony moved and Ziva followed. It was natural for her to follow his lead and go with what he was doing.

Tony never led her astray, they swayed and circled, staring into each other's eyes the entire time. When the song ended, Tony leaned in and kissed Ziva on the nose lightly and smiled at her. She returned the smile and led him back toward the table.

"Let's go home," Tony said, after paying for their food.

"Yes, let's go home," Ziva agreed with a smile on her face.

She had honestly never been this happy in her entire life before now. She kept saying that to herself and kept getting happier. But, she was done waiting for the other shoe to drop, she knew that this was going to last as long as they worked together, which was what they did best.

The ride home was silent, as their hands stayed laced together in the car, needing to be near one another. They were both happy about how things had changed for them over the last two years and they were both looking forward to this vacation, because they definitely needed some time away from work to get totally lost in each other for a while, because working together without any contact was extremely difficult at times and it only got more difficult with more time. Vacations were a must and they both knew that. The only thing was, that now Vance and Gibbs new that too.

"We forgot to tell the others about us as Gibbs asked," Ziva reminded Tony as they stepped out of the car.

"We can tell them when we get home again," Tony said with a soft shrug. "Cases come first. That's Gibbs' rules."

"I know," Ziva agreed as Tony unlocked the apartment and let them in.

Ziva smiled. The flowers that Tony had gotten her earlier were sitting in a vase right inside the entrance. She was reminded again of how amazing it was to call Tony hers. She turned, without much warning and pressed an eager kiss to his lips and he smiled against her mouth, taking her in his arms and holding her close to him. Yes, they both needed the vacation very much and were both looking forward to no responsibilities other than each other for an entire week away from work.

* * *

A/N – So, it's a little short with a lot of fluff. But, we needed some fluff. Review, please. And, thank you!


	68. The Proposal

The Proposal

They had gone away, for sure. Ziva stood now, on the second night of their vacation, on the white sands of the beach near their rented house. It was late, probably already after ten. The moon was full and shining high in the sky above their heads. She had her eyes closed just taking it all in.

Ziva was enjoying the warmth around her. The evening breeze drifting off the ocean was very pleasant as well. And she smiled at the sensation of Tony's arms wrapped around her waist as she stood there, looking out over the moonlight ocean.

The past two days here had been absolute heaven. There had been no work, no stress, no lives threatened, no murders, no forensic evidence, no bodies, and no crime scenes. There had also been no hiding the small touches and looks and no rule against getting totally lost in each other for impossible periods of time. This was something Ziva never thought she would see for a day in her life. She was just with Tony and he was with her. It was the way a vacation was really supposed to be.

Tony moved just a little to come up next to her. He took his arms from around her middle and she instantly missed his touch as soon as it left her skin. But, both of his hands found hers and their fingers automatically entwined together. She knew this was going to be a very serious moment by the look in his eyes and she was curious. She was pretty sure she knew what was coming at her, because all of the pieces of the puzzle were making sense in her head right now.

The talk with Gibbs. The talk in MTAC with her father. The big romantic dinner. The vacation. The romantic moments they shared right before this moment. Everything was making sense. Tony was on a mission and it obviously involved her and was not small by any stretch of the word.

Ziva's heart was racing as she looked up into Tony's deep, thoughtful, green eyes, which were staring into her own chocolate-colored ones with an intensity she wasn't sure she had seen in him before.

They stood there for another moment in silence. Her heart continued to race and she knew her cheeks were flushed with color. She could feel adrenaline coursing through her body. She knew now. It all made sense right now. He wore a look of absolute love and adoration and he had such a serious expression that she knew exactly what he was going to ask at the end of whatever else he had to say to her. She let a small smile play on her lips as he stood there gazing into her eyes as though he could see right through to her soul.

Tony's mouth pulled up a little at the corners, giving her a smile in response to hers, as though he realized he was going to get the answer he wanted from her, even though he had not said anything yet. He had not known what to say and even though he didn't, when she smiled, he knew that his heart would speak for him; he had to trust that. Tony squeezed her hands a little and as if on queue when her smile came, he spoke to her.

"Ziva, we've known each other for six years now. You walked into my life at the worst possible time… okay, maybe not the absolute worst, but definitely top five worst," he began, already needing to correct himself, as he was unsure of what to say to her. 'You came into that squad room wearing your cargo pants and white tank top, with your wild hair down and curly, just the way I love it… and I had just lost a best friend and a coworker who was like a sister to me and I was devastated by that… you walked in while I was having a childish moment and let's just say you had me at phone sex…."

They both laughed, remembering back to the very first time they met each other, before she was a Liaison Officer at NCIS; when she was only Mossad and trying to protect her brother from something she thought was injustice at the time. Tony squeezed her hands a little more and dared to continue on.

"You were wild, dangerous, more than off-limits, frightening, and beautiful. But, you squeezed your way into my life and my heart that day in the squad room. I had to follow you and spy on you, on Gibbs orders, of course. You caught me, which was something that hadn't ever happened to me before. I tried to play it cool for a long time, but somehow I think you knew what was going on deep inside my heart. We had to survive an undercover mission as a married couple, a fake relationship assigned to me, the death of Jenny, a reassignment, a fake relationship assigned to you, leaving you behind, you going through hell, me going through hell to find you in your hell, and so much more. But, we survived every bit of it, Ziva. We did it together.

"Things were so different when we rescued you. You were different. I was different. The team was different. We were different. But, we started to heal together. In Paris things began to change between us, though I didn't want to admit that, because I knew you weren't ready then. So, I did what I could and kept it to myself. I only wanted to help you.

"When you reached out and asked me to help you, I was thrilled. I was glad that you trusted me enough to do that for you, but I knew that it would change us forever. But, things escalated quickly enough. I don't consider the last vacation really a vacation, because most of that time we were still avoiding what we needed to discuss. But, we finally did it and pulled our act together. We were together, finally. That was the best moment of my life up to right then. I was so happy. I don't even know how to say it.

"After a wonderful year, I'm happier than I've ever dreamed. We've certainly had our ups and downs as we adjusted to being in a relationship and we've dealt with them wonderfully together, as a team, as partners, as soul mates. I can't picture my life without you. I can't live without you. I don't want to. Ziva, Adina David, will you marry me?"

Tony dropped onto one knee as he asked the question, holding a diamond ring in front of him. Ziva had tears in her eyes. She could barely breathe, let alone answer. The light of the moon illuminated the diamond ring and she knew that it was his mother's ring. It was beautiful, intricate, and small. It fit them. It suited them in every possible way.

Ziva dropped to her knees in front of him, her legs giving out under her emotions. Love and contentment were coursing through her and making her heart swell happily as a smile played on her face and tears streamed down her cheeks. She kneeled in front of Tony, level with him, equal to him, with a wide smile and tears of happiness glowing in the moonlight.

"Yes! Yes, Anthony Daniel DiNozzo! I will marry you!" she managed to say and leaned forward, finally giving into the impulse and kissing him passionately, tears of joy streaming down both their faces.

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A/N – There's the question and there's the answer. More to come soon! Let me know what you think


	69. Chapter 69

Enjoying

The remainder of the evening was filled with sweet nothings and a long walk on the beach as Ziva kept glancing down at the ring that now sat on her left ring-finger. It had been his mother's ring and she knew it and it was beautiful, elegant, small, and intricate. It was perfect for their relationship and she knew it. He had obviously known it too, since he had given it to her to wear.

Every time Ziva's eyes shot down to her left hand, Tony would squeeze it and glance there too, with a broad smile on his face. He didn't fail to notice that she kept glancing at the ring a lot and smiling softly at it, with tears in her eyes. He would occasionally interrupt the walk, just to pull her in for a kiss, as they were still both overwhelmed by emotions that they had long denied themselves and happiness that they couldn't put into words.

The rest of the vacation was pleasant more than pleasant. They had gone on a few more dinners, but mostly, they kept to the beach and the ocean. They enjoyed each other's company too much to not get lost in each other and this was definitely good for them. They spent a lot of time locked up in their small room, without coming out for any reason other than eating and using the bathroom.

Neither one of them wanted the vacation to end, however, reality was still pretty good for them. They had their job, which was something they both enjoyed doing, especially since they were working together; they had their apartment, which was something they shared and enjoyed living in together; they had their strange little family. Both of them missed the others at NCIS, but were totally lost in each other. They missed Abby's small strange habits (such as talking to her machines), they missed Gibbs careful watch over them and his glare when they were misbehaving in the office. They missed McGee's geeky side as well as his kind and sweet side. They missed Ducky's stories and they missed Palmer's awkwardness. They even missed Vance standing on the catwalk glaring down at the team and making sure they were doing everything by the books.

So, when it came time to pack to go home, they couldn't bring themselves to complain about it, because they both wanted to test this new intimacy, closeness, and love in reality, because reality was like a dream come true to them. They always had each other and they never got tired of having each other.

They packed slowly the night before returning. They were silent through most of it, sharing little things as they remembered them (like when Ziva pulled Tony's T-shirt that he had given her in Paris out of her drawer).

They were nearly done packing when Ziva turned around, catching the light of the sunset glittering off her ring. Sunsets apparently seemed to be a good time of day, since they had begun their relationship immediately after a sunset and Tony had begun to set the mood of his proposal around sunset a few days ago.

Ziva was smiling at Tony and Tony looked up, returning her smile. She walked over to him, pulling his shirt out of his hands and placing it carefully into his bag that he was trying to finish packing. She pulled his hands and pulled him closer to her and away from the suitcase, which was sitting on a table. She pulled him back toward the bed, where they had shared so many intimate moments.

Ziva looked into his eyes. There was a glowing intensity of absolute adoration and love there that was filling her so completely that to some she might be considered unrecognizable. Tony smiled down at her as his own intense gaze bore into her. He leaned in first and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

She slowly wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, instantly finding the base of his hair and running her fingers through it. His hands mimicked hers. She needed the intimate moments more with Tony than she had ever thought possible, because she was someone who didn't usually rely on other people or trust them to any point. However, Ziva always wanted to be closer to Tony.

He pulled her tighter, as though sensing her need to be closer to him, though he definitely needed her closer as well. They became tangled in the kiss quickly, but there was nothing rushed about it, just pure passion pouring out of the two of them.

Ziva ran one hand down Tony's spine and smiled against his lips as she felt him quiver in delight under her touch. His hand, again, mimicked hers, as though to tell her what she was doing to him.

When his fingers traced gently down her spine, her body shuddered in his grip and she pressed into him more, asking for him to keep doing what he was doing to her. His hand made it to the base of her torso and took hold of the bottom of her shirt for a moment, before he let go of that and traced the skin that was meeting the top of her pants.

"Tony," she whispered into his mouth as she gasped at the sensation of his hands on her bare stomach.

She could never get used to that feeling, just as she knew that she could never get used to his love. He grabbed her hip and pulled her closer to him, lifting her shirt up and tracing the curve of her hips and waist gently.

"Tony," she whispered again, but this time there was some urgency in her voice and he smirked as he slowly pulled her shirt up over her head.

"Always, Ziva," he whispered to her and then, kissed her with more urgency than before, more need and desire, since he was just as ready for her as she was for him, no matter the time of place.

They got lost in each other quickly and forgot about the packing. But, they had until noon tomorrow to be checked out of the hotel and until two to get on the plane in Honolulu.

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A/N – I had to throw in some more mush! Mush is fun for me to write and I hope its fun for you to read. They are so unbearably happy right now and they are in a small piece of heaven that they created together to share with only each other. Review and let me know what you think!


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